Will I ever heal?
I can't listen to my music without a memory of you.
I can't read a romantic poem without thinking of you.
I can't stop accidentally re-opening the wound you left on my heart.
I can't stop the pain from flooding into my veins and out my eyes.
Can it stop? Will it stop?
The part that hurts the most is knowing
I don't even so much as flitter through your mind
Let alone your heart.

I'm acquainted with your suffering.
She's a friend of mine too.
Always on the verge of paralyzing primal fear.
The fear of never truly being seen your entire life.
The pain of feeling safe
Allowing your soul to be naked
Only to be coldly rejected.
I sink.
It felt like being slowly sliced open
Neck to belly button
Split open
Wild animals digging through my insides
Rooting around for my sweet meats.
All while being observed by an unfeeling audience
He's curious but he would never save me.
He loves a good tragedy.

Everyone says this will make me better.
I'll grow, I'll flourish, the best is yet to come.
But what if I liked the old me better?