January
winter objectivity
the coldest month of the year
a month that bring most folks to tears
Wooly shawls, fluffy robes
doggy ears slippers struggles
to warm the curse of your cold feet
~~
Early to bed, and early to rise
Followed by a hot cup of fresh mint tea
Vick vaporize that stings your eyes
Would make a blind person see clearly
~~
Re-corking that age old red wine
from nineteen eighty-nine
with two wines glasses on the top cabinet
In hopes of one day for another romantic setting
Or most likely your daughter futuristic June wedding
~~
let’s accepted the unacceptable
I cannot imagine a winter without snow
a summer without the hot blasting sun or
autumn without the leaves  slowly falling
to the ground,
mother nature the grief we feel
your unalterable changes of your teaching
once again you have won this round

I want to say to forgive and forget
I want to remain in the 99% of unbelievers
I also want to be the one who find the missing pages from the bible

I wish it was possible for me to hold Eve’s hand and say to her
“I know the feeling my sister.
It wasn’t your fault; it was our brother
Adam and the serpent
But who’s to blame,
when the missing pages
Never reveal the truth about man:
and his birthright

One word abomination
And two words
incestuous, relationships
This mystery would stay with us forever;
Knowingly, we can’t figure out
who’s wrong and who’s right

Living for many of us today in a sinful world
where the answers isn’t clear
While the missing pages turned to dust and vanish:

Shame, shame and more shame on our faces
Would it be proven in the end?
We all have our own story to tell
but, time is of the essence

I allow my mind to
take me back to that time:
I knew and love the best: that dance
When my feet move like a pro dancer
Smooth and glamorous and elegant to the quickstep
Was it the music, or was it the love in both our romantic heart
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Everyone needs that inspiration and strength to go
back in time: and see the real us.
together we outshine: them all
here, I am reliving the down, down beats
we share so many swashbuckling moments
ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one,
beat!, beat! Beat!
goes my poetic  heart.
We were one with the music………….
Happy, happy days.

...
Your name,
a stab wound in the neck.
Memories of you,
moldy coffee grounds
and soggy biscuits;
your taste, spoiled milk.

Black, oily tendrils spill from my dying lips each time I say your name in my head.

I do not say it out loud

You are she now, I must
remember.

She...her.

She was the only one
I would have
completely submitted
to, had she only asked.

Her juices, sublime.

She ruined me
for the rest of you.
Cold and dark, her love
is the shadow in my eyes.
These bloodstained years,
ashes, weightless.

I cannot love anyone now.
I gave what little I had to her,
and she killed it.

I let her

This purging of her,
will it ever end?
So many dead memories
taking up precious space.
So many lies, so many lies.
A soiled sanctuary,
dripping in poison.

My dearest and darkest love,
my only.

They were all for you,
these poems. These futile
attempts to reconcile my reality
with my guts. Even the ones that weren't for
you carried your shadow.

Her, not you.
I must remember
This one broke me
because she didn't know
how to wield
the immense power
I gave her.
She was careless.

This has to stop.
Soon.

I want to hold someone
else and not think of...her.

You

I want to make everything right.

No

I want revenge.
I want her to suffer.

These dark reflections
from my nothing
inside
are innocuous.

Pale skin, bleach and rotten milk.
Lies and lies and lies.

Her grey garden is barren
but I still have sight.
She was supposed to
pluck my eyes.
Communion, this eating of
my flesh and
drinking of my
blood
has left me
bereft of anything
worth wanting.

*I crawl through stone