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Oct 18 · 47
Rainbow Crystalline
Skyler H Oct 18
Like a whiplash of a storm
A sucker punch of emotions
Just thinking about you now
Lights up my mind in glowing, rainbow Crystalline

I want your purple pink sky
The wonders that lie in your mind
"Can I call you mine?" I asked just now
Your eyes turned into a smile, rainbow Crystalline
Oct 18 · 48
evening shadows
Skyler H Oct 18
Water streams over my feet at the bay
My tears can't seem to dry even in the brightest day
Letting go feels so light yet the consequences light up my doubts
As they burn they cover my sight, watching it all fly by
The past is something I dream to forget
But like evening shadows at the lightest sunset
They haunt my mind, neverending thoughts, eating me away at the seems
Skyler H Oct 18
You know ripped sheets comfort the most
And worn out shoes take you farthest
I'm a tired soul with a hopeful vision
I always think I need permission to be
If I showed you all of me with everything I've hidden
Would you want me, truly in this earthly hell
Would you leave me any second? Am I joke waiting to be unraveled by your words?

Don't you think we have something to lose
Like if the rain didn't pour anymore wouldn't you miss the blues
And if the sun didn't shine wouldn't you miss the warmth
If we part ways I'll miss you evermore
I'll stay by the shore, I'll knock on your door
Even when you long left home
And I'll be the first to know
You're better off alone
Than with someone who isn't sure
Oct 18 · 33
my sweet Orion
Skyler H Oct 18
my tired eyes haven't shined in years
my friends they all left me maybe I'm to blame
stares down the halls and they're all for me
words behind my back all pointed to me

how have you been? I need to know
you don't have it easier do you
it's all the same ways, same blood boiling the same veins
tied to a bed all you feel is pain
what must life be like without words
proud of you for pushing through
I say, holding your hand, this pain will end someday

how's it to get your heart broken all over
the time is never right you're never the chosen
but lights will shine at the end of this crumbling tunnel
with music in a white dress, I'll be next you

looking up I see no stars tonight
just the orion, 3 little stars for our three lives
every day wishing we could join the moon just for once
but I'm stuck here staring at you, my sweet orion
Oct 18 · 25
snowfall
Skyler H Oct 18
Will you be here by next snowfall
Cover me in the dark, mend my scars
Keep me warm in the cold, show me where I need to go
Hold my hand when I'm the one to let go
Will you be here, are you here anymore

Reach out for love and warmth
Found I've got no one to hold
In my heart deeply sunken stories untold
Lavender fields with greens and thorns
Pricked my finger with the truth
There's so much that I could do

Wish I could be next to a warm soul
Whose smile heals wounds and scares
The cold won't scare me not for long

Tired of watching the snow fall
I wanna go outside with you on my side  
Love ghost all around us drowning us in feelings
It feels so good to stop breathing, even for just a minute
Will you come with me, will you join me?
Oct 18 · 29
angel eyes
Skyler H Oct 18
In the end, I can't deny.
It's you I like, the world stops.
Try as I might when I look in those angel eyes
They wrap me up like warmth in the cold
Surrounded by the magic it holds.

With a touch of gold, a new world
I hear my thoughts crushed and they burn
The heat warming our graces and I can't help but feel
Tied to you
Oct 18 · 33
i wish to know
Skyler H Oct 18
I wish to know
Why the wind blows colder when I step outside,
I wish to know
Why I feel people could pierce me with their eyes
As a little child
I don't know what to say when I feel it
But I wish to know

My steps all alone they hold no weight
And the memories pass by without ever holding me
As I go to a place where I don't wanna be all over again
How can I hold on another day?

I wish to know
Why your words hurt me like nobody else's
I wish to know
What went wrong for you to say that to me
As a little child
I haven't learned how not to cry when I feel it
But I wish to know

The black sheep opens the door for you to enter
My hands shake and sweat as I close it behind me
As I sit down next to someone I feel wouldn't look at me like I do at them
How can I hold another day?

But I want to know
Why I felt that way and why it happened that way and-
I want to know
How to go back rush in and hold myself close and say
"It's okay, but this ain't gonna change."
You need to learn how to-
Pitch black greets me all over again like the only friend I can afford to miss.

I wish to know
Why you look at me like you wish I were dead
I wish to know
Why you always leave me so disappointed
I wish to know
Is it because of you I feel the way I do?
Will anyone ever want to know me like this?
I wish to know, so tell me.
I wish to know.
Skyler H Oct 18
It's cool to be young
They say that to my face like I'll believe them
Why'd you look so tired you just slept in the whole weekend?
It's good to be so free
They say it only gets worse from here
"You're in your prime, I'm on my way down"
How's young supposed to feel?

Is it miserable if I say
The wound still hurts
Come help me, it hurts
Am I weak for saying so?
Or you just make me feel so
Helpless for telling you
It hurts, come help me, it hurts

Can I tell you how I feel
Or will regret wash over me
Will you hold my words behind your back
Until you stab me with them when I'm let down
Will I ever feel not guilty for feeling how I'm supposed to
Is it okay to blame you for it?
Is it okay if I say "it hurts, help me, it hurts"
It aches and it burns like a birthday alone
Like a Christmas in bed with the lights out
Like a missed memory in the back of my mind
Oct 18 · 29
if i died today,
Skyler H Oct 18
I keep crying, but if I told you
The pain I'm suffering,
Is all my own doing
Would you still listen and comfort me?
I can't let go of it,
Hopelessly holding onto it.

It's like a sharp knife that gushed in,
Sometime when I was unaware.
And it's hurting to know it's there
But the wound is numb and I don't have the strength to pull the knife,
So the blood flows out slowly onto me
I confuse it for a warm hug, or lust that makes me dream
Until my heart beats too fast and my vision goes black
If I died today, would you feel that? Would I feel that?
Oct 18 · 135
Float in my Arms
Skyler H Oct 18
I can see it on your face,
The storm took your color and ran.
Your shine in the back of your mind still stands,
I'll hold your hand until you get it back.

Rain falls and it makes me feel like the old times
When I thought I wouldn't have anyone to hold,
But I can feel your breath on me now and I try
To force myself into this moment hard as I can.

And I brush your hair away from your face
I see a galaxy in those dark eyes behind your pretend smile,
I want to know your pain,
To make you feel at ease, so let me help you dearly.

I want you to float in my arms,
As if they were the Milky Way.
Let go and see the stars,
That you thought had faded away.
Once it gets dark they only shine brighter, no,
I'll make them shine brighter, just for you.
So float away in me and let me hold you near
My dearest, my loved, my galaxy, my aching heart.
Skyler H Oct 18
For one last time, the sun sets on the stacks of notes, dreams and piles of unfinished business
And one last time we'll put down what we're asked on a lonely piece of paper
For after that we all change and we stop the old habits forever

As we walk through the memories, faded behind glass
It takes just a moment to go back now, but soon we'll forget
And all we'll know is how it made us feel, the euphoria within

What I'm trying to say is,

Would you stop to thank yourself?
If i took your hand and brought you here.
To see how far you've come and what you've done
Would it blossom in your heart, like it does in mine?

To hope is to forgive, and to let go is to learn
And to be hurt and to be picked up again is to stand up for ourselves
One last time before the Sun sets
Would you take my hand and reminisce in what will become the foggy past?

And we're a bit far apart in minds and hearts
But this one room seems to blend us into one
To remind us of the flesh and bone we all share
And the pain that we bear, all together still
That we'll soon have to take back, heavier than we gave it away

What I'm trying to say is,

Would you stop to smile for a moment
If i took your hand and brought you here
To feel the uncertain envelop us silently
Would you do it, but even if you turn away
If i could tell you one thing: don't let this be crushed to dust,
Don't forget the last of us.
A poem for future graduates. I'm proud of you.
Oct 18 · 34
Storm in the Crystal
Skyler H Oct 18
Every now then I still
Hold up the crystal and I scrape the dirt away
Letting all it's painful colors blind me

And the dark black that kills my vision
Is sometimes too much
I end up in the darkness, searching with lust
Oct 18 · 174
i'm sick
Skyler H Oct 18
I'm sick of hearing.
The thought of hearing one more story
That's not my own makes me wanna cry uncontrollably
I don't wanna listen.
To let how you feel tell me what to do
I'm sick of listening.

I'm sick of seeing.
Everyone else having it all put together
It makes my stomach turn to know that won't be me, ever
I don't wanna watch.
You live out what I want so eagerly
I'm sick of watching.

I want to feel.
To feel someone in my arms
And to feel the fire that might burn me to the ground
If it did, I would gladly let it
I'm sick of waiting.

I'm sick of losing.
To watch everyone leave or their shadows hunt me
To feel the warmth frozen by the cold in a tight embrace
I don't wanna win.
For as wining inevitably disappoints me

I want to be sick.
Sick in love and desperate
To be dizzy and dumb and stupid and young
Not to wear a cloak that hides me, lurking to swallow me whole
I want to be dizzy with desire.

Just for a blink I wanna see
the love they all see
And give in completely.
Oct 18 · 683
i may not sing
Skyler H Oct 18
I may not sing
But when I look at you
I can feel the thumps growing into melody
And it's all about you.

I may not see the beauty in anything
But I see all your colors
Shades I'm scared of, colored in deep unknown,
Yet I never wanna look away.

I couldn't tell you this
But when I lay my eyes on you
I feel as if mine turn into rays of Sun,
Only hoping that they reflect the light in yours so you can feel my warmth.

I hate what I see
When the mirror reflects me
But when I look at you I can only hope you see
A gentle river, flowing like the eyelashes down your cheeks.

Going over dark valleys, like eyes in disguise
Sacred places in dips and dimples
I wanna move there, would you let me stay?
When your hair drops over your face it's like a golden frame.
Oct 18 · 33
Letter X
Skyler H Oct 18
So i ask you to be solely mine darling, for I will place my beating heart in your palm and keep it there even if it stops beating as a symbol of my sweetest promise.
Oct 18 · 40
Feels Like Home
Skyler H Oct 18
Little ray of Sun greets me through the trees
Shining down on a lonely beam, I see me
Sitting on the floor, cramped into a small space
Hoping it doesn't go away

So i pick up the ink and picture it
A little one story house in the suburbs
Two guiding lights on my side
Hoping the breeze won't carry them away

When I go and see what's on the other side
Hold my hand and tell me: Will it feel like home?
When I can sit down and breathe deeply with no guilt
Will it feel like home?
When I let my colors paint the sky and won't care who tries to fade them
Will that feel like home?
Oct 17 · 142
Sweater for two
Skyler H Oct 17
Wind is thumping the window
Wishing it could carry us away
Night flames flicker in the small apartment
Our pictures hanging in frames
A cup of warm sugar is in my hand
The other in yours half empty as is
We just don't care
Talking away our cares

Hiding under the covers
Why can't we have a sweater for two
Heart to heart is all that we swear to be true
And if you want you can cry through the night
I'll say just as much as you'd like

Where are the good old times
When we weren't feeling this old
The time bomb in our heads is about to explode
And what we'll feel a moment from now, we don't know
If it is this unpredictable how can some still say: "enjoy!"
The smell of candied wax in our lungs,
Our eyes filled with a sense of trust.

"In your eyes can I hide?" I ask
I laughed it off like I always do, I put on my careless mask
Your warm smile lights up the dark
Blood runs in my numb heart at the sight
If this was the night we died, wouldn't be so bad, right?

I hold you closer and closer
Why can't we have a sweater for two
Your gaze warm as the rising sun, tears start to move
You look at me like it's your fault, I don't wanna do this to you
I realize the pain is forever here to stay
Once you've had enough, there's only one way:
One becomes two, two becomes one
It's the way it's always been in my heart.
Oct 17 · 172
your coldest touch
Skyler H Oct 17
It's crazy, don't you think so?
I thought I'd grow old with you,
Walk down new streets with you
But it all went to nothing.

Might've been something I did
But I didn't wanna let you go like that
You closed the door in my face in the winter sunset
Now I'm in the darkness you said I led you into.

When the talking was done
I felt the coldest touch
I knew was the last I was gonna see of you
Never do you know what the future will do
A decade just flashed by in seconds, I knew
This was the last I'm gonna see of you

No more driving down the road
I'll never walk you home again
I won't see you grow since you wanted it to end
You won't see me shine but I'm not afraid of that

Could've been something you did
When you thought in a few words it could be ended.
Oct 17 · 109
secret garden
Skyler H Oct 17
Roses darling can't compare
To the scent you leave.
When come close to me
I can see the brightest red, who can resist ?
Anything like this a ten

Now my hold my hand,
In the night we tread.
Roads aligned with stars and love
When it's just the two of us
It's all magic and it's all lust.

Just a step more and it gleams,
The sight of it leaves us weak
Beauty like this is something you can't speak
It's a secret garden under golden gates
With guitars and love song serenades
Oct 17 · 259
slow down
Skyler H Oct 17
Slow down,
If we only had right now
Would you still keep me on the sidelines?
Slow down,
Whenever I try I freeze.
The way you made me feels like
My wound won't heal.
The prejudice I set against myself is exhausting
My hope flies by and I can't seem to look at the sky,
I don't know why.

Maybe if you slow down
I can figure this out
Maybe, if you slow down
I'll say my forever goodbye.

A knife so sharp it makes you feel nothing
A love so strong you can't seem to think about nothing
When I'm ripped to pieces you like to measure up,
And take my freedom away.
The bruises that paint my sky will always chase you
I'll tell you that even if it's the last word
That comes out my mouth.
Oct 17 · 66
Steps
Skyler H Oct 17
Fireplace cracks the silence
We're done taking nonsense.
In the dead of night,
Sitting tensely cross-legged
On the same stained couch,
I'm about to leave now.

The wheels roll down the pavement
No one follows, only the sound of rain trickles
And I know deep down
This place isn't safe to stay anymore.

Dark street lights almost made me trip
My head is empty but the feelings are killing me
I've solved the image you made of me
Now there's nothing left of what you thought of me
But I knew in my soul it was time to let go

The new page is left open.
The book is in my hand now
And the pen was stolen from you.
Oct 17 · 40
Sweetest thing
Skyler H Oct 17
I'm not good with words,
All I do is try
I'm stuck with my feelings,
Can't seem to get them out
My head is in a never-ending fight
I'm tripping over what I got
Pulling the rope from both sides,
I hope I don't lose it while
I still got you
I know I don't own you
And you don't own me.

You're all I can see
All I want to know,
A living masterpiece
A sight to behold.
My priceless lover,
Will you be forever?

You're my treasure,
Head to toe
Sweetest thing the world has known
Each moment is a diamond with you
Let's run away without no shoes
And as the water reflects our holding hands,
As the breeze and night light washes us clean
I'll let you know, my only one, my one gem
You're the one I'm here for, no one else.
Oct 17 · 201
family
Skyler H Oct 17
Hear the candle popping as it's burning
Slightest glow on the kitchen table
Tired faces lit with sorrow circle the room
Then the shared pains follow
A room with memories left behind
Empty looks watching an empty house
Once every full moon
We share each other's light
But that's all just in my mind

Photobook of moments
Burned into our conscience
We speak without words
Our looks say more than enough
We know when it's been raining on us for a bit too long
And we keep company when it's hard to hold on
If we got the chance wouldn't choose anyone else
We both feel the storm just the same
But i don't know how that works
It's all just in my head

Wondering what it's like
Always with family
A word that's hard to define
Brings so much joy or pain
A sweet relief you won't escape
Or burning hell you wish to erase?
When it's just you
You don't know what to know
Is it really destiny
Is that really family?
Oct 17 · 261
Out of love
Skyler H Oct 17
I'm running out of love
Have never had enough
One day when I'm done,
I hope what I have done
I did it out of love.
Oct 17 · 68
Caramel
Skyler H Oct 17
Your smile melts my heart like caramel
Your plush lips like an antidote, all I ever wanna know.
Your eyes like dark crystal mirrors tell me your every move
When I hold you we melt into one, sweet like caramel
Oct 17 · 320
the little red balloon
Skyler H Oct 17
Years from now,
In a coffee shop downtown
Millions of miles between
Where I can't be seen

What I showed to the world before,
That wasn't true; I don't want it anymore
Why did my colors only get more blue,
When others get the whole rainbow.

So this is the night I let go
I'm okay for today, that's all I know
And I'll float this little red balloon to show
I'm not drowning anymore

It's sad to think,
The things that could've been
And the sights I could've seen
If this journey went a different way
Where would I have gone if I had
Taken a different train?

When you think you get the least you get the most
You have more than you could ever know
I know what you think you need right now is nowhere to be found
But have you thought you don't need it just yet, how does that sound?

The light I never had
Turned into flames
When shades of crimson
Painted the way.
Oct 17 · 50
I Felt Love
Skyler H Oct 17
And just for that second
For the blink of an eye
I felt love and it was only mine
Didn't think that I'd be better off
Being whoever and showing it off
I just thought the wind is nice
The way it clinged to my hair
And the grass beneath my feet
Gave me way, filled me with fresh air

It's easy to see only what you want
When the ugliest things are hidden
Too normal till you forget what you got
When they make you wish for what you had
And the clock keeps digging it's claws
To think you're in a rush and never enough,
Only to realize wherever you're running
Is not where you wanna get. Besides, the flaws
Like golden butterflies, shine and get carried away
Oct 17 · 374
Stargazing Soliloquy
Skyler H Oct 17
Blood on my fangs, I once saw as glitter
Rose-tinted world drowned in a hopeless filter
Crushed from the soul, heart-wrenched, lifelessly searching
No more hope where fragile seeds have been stomped
While time's sharp fangs can't seem to be stopped

As my mind is catching fire
Mentally sick, endless haywire
Too much to say, but no air escapes my lungs
No words to express what's become my world
Heavy clouds tinted undescribable shades
And ground overgrown, within it hidden venomous snakes

Shattered glass obscuring my vision, I won't look back
Infinitely dark, my face smothered in vantablack
But just then a light showed me a glimpse
A shooting star told me it's my turn to make a wish

A wish so grand it makes the ground rattle and
If it lights up a world just a little brighter than it is now
I won't turn back into the darkness I came from, a heartfelt vow
But it's just me, in reality
My entirety soaked in liberating rain and vitality
Where I wish upon a star that falls just to stop sparkling
Faster than self-made chains leave you in soliloquy, blood on your hands, burdening
Skyler H Oct 17
As I get to know you
Lavender grows in my heart,
The scent mends my scars
And it all feels true.

As I lay by you in the morning
You lay your ever-discovering eyes on me
After a tired night, morning and day
All I want to say is how much I cherish
Having you here next to me.

You don't need to
Make me feel like it's all okay
Or change my life in
Some unattainable way.

I promise to love you
For who you are, not who you make me -
Shining in all colors and shapes,
A precious, beaten-up jewel
I'll carry you in my front pocket  
So you can rest as long as you want to

I'll never know when
This might just end suddenly -
Still life made us meet
And it means so much to me.

I can hear the birds sing;
When you look at me, it's a heartwarming melody
A movie everyone wants to see
But you're showing it just for me, and I don't know how
I'll make it it up to you- and I'll
Grow fields of lavender just for you
And make the sky turn bright blue whenever you want it to

So we can truly understand how
Moments feel like an eternity together.
A poem I wrote for my future lover and the love I long to share with them
Oct 17 · 333
skin and bones
Skyler H Oct 17
Every word I've ever heard from you
Leaves a new cut like shards of glass
As I bleed away in plane sight unfound
Please, I beg you to get out of my memory
I need you gone, for you and for me

Your look like lasoos on my back
As they strike new wounds I'll never forget
I'm becoming the worthlessness you saw in me
So dumbfounded when I felt your cruel
Shatter my bones like freezing winter air
Left with no shelter to drag myself up a hill

Everyone gathers around the fire
The blazing warmth like a first kiss
Moments and moments of symphonic bliss
Where I just wanna get close and feel it
Skyler H Oct 17
Open your eyes, little child
It's no longer dark, can you feel the Sun?
Should I bring it down so you can hold it in your arms?
If it sounds good, give me a light nod

Can you hear that? Space is calling.
Come with me, we'll build a spaceship
Hold my hand close and don't drop it
Let's take it to the Moon or wherever you feel is cool

Hold your breath a little longer
Isn't the spacesuit the coolest thing, hm?
It's time to let go of the world and it's unspoken words
Let the people who made you sad stay
So, what do you say?

You'll be surprised to know
It's all vip for you
There's never-ending pixie dust
And everything you desire
Just close your eyes and picture it for me.

Woooh... The road's a bit shaky
But that's part of the takeoff
Would you like a hug?
It's good to know we'll only go up

Will you be surprised to know,
That I'm not much smarter than you
I might be a hero for you but I'm weak for me
Younger me, please love me and I'll love you too

Closed my eyes and i can feel you.
Open your eyes, little child.
a poem for our younger selves...
Oct 17 · 528
Spacerocks
Skyler H Oct 17
Imagine what we could be
If you weren't just a constellation in the sky
A clutter of space rocks in the back of my mind
And if it were just you and I
For you would that be alright
To feel and tell secrets and sweet lies
Is a small price to pay for human paradise

Like the stream of consciousness in your eyes
You desperately try to hide but that i know it like the back of my mind
And I remember every little thing you said about yourself
And how you like to spend your days and how your eyes they're tired but so full of life
It's like a bottomless ocean, in it
Death seems like no limit
And I'll keep my blind spirit
In your inexistence I'll go delirate

My selections of letters to you mean nothing
To me they're perfect poems written just for me
You make me question if my sanity really exists
Or do I just wanna hold someone and be a know-nothing for the hope of it all
When all this world does is fall
Written June 15th 2024
Oct 17 · 229
aurora
Skyler H Oct 17
Birdcages, broken faces
I've lost track of time again
All in my head, doors locked, sinking in
Sinking in my own despair

Everyone looks at me so
Excitedly but I can't seem
To grasp why what is it
That you see in me all around me
I can feel the pity in their eyes

When the aurora hit my face,
All I wanted was to stay
On my own when darkness clipped
My wings, they grew back as light
And even if I'm too shy to fly
I shake my wings as they lift me up high

Green grass over me
Soft hug I can't leave
That's what I've been in
Feels like shining selfishly

All over me and I'm scared
I'm losing touch when I'm just
Regaining whatever I lost,
So long ago I can't remember what it was

When the aurora hit my face,
All I wanted was to stay
On my own when darkness clipped
My wings they grew up all light
And even if I'm too down to fly
I shake my wings as they lift me up high

As I reached the clouds
My hands shaking, I can't stop
I said to myself "this is it now"
I can't even believe in me now
But I did it I had to try
When it torments you every night
It grows more real grew less frightening
The thought of me leaving, How englightening

Aurora hit my face
All I could do was stay
Aurora when lights arise
I'll be the first in line to fly
And maybe when I take flight
I'll know how much I'm worth
And all that I deserve

When I gave my all
Their eyes won't show it but they knew
After everything I've been through
To be like me means gleaming when
The stars are taken away from your sky
Written Feb. 15 2024

— The End —