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Chi Oct 2017
People often ask me what love is  

And I seriously don't know what it means

All I can think about is you

Your eyes, those brown eyes

Those eyes which saw me naked  

You saw every scar on my body  

Yet the only thing you said was

“You are beautiful”  

Love, I am not beautiful

Scars, stretch marks, blood, wounds

Doesn't mean beautiful

I am not an art

Yet your lips kissed me

The way the sun kissed my skin every morning

Without a fail, without any doubt

You smiled.  

And the only words that came to my mind was

"****, this is trouble"

My love, your words hold me like a hostage

Trapped inside an empty box, finding a way out.  

A way I can never ever get a glimpse of.

I knew that this love

Our love would last a lifetime  

Or so I thought



We were torn apart by hatreds, insecurities, confusions

Maybe if it wasn't for distance  

We would be still together, we could have worked it out

But maybe, no matter what decisions we'll make

We will still come to an end

Confused about the future

Insecure about other people

Hating each other

You, giving up

And me, craving for more

Craving for something that can fill up the hole inside my chest



I wanted you to stay forever, here beside me

But every time I would ask about it

You always said

"You deserve so much more"

You were once my everything

My other half

My partner in crime  

You were someone so freaking important to me

You were the kind of mistake, I wouldn't mind repeating

I fell so hard for you

And guess what happened?

Love, I am broken



How many days, months, years

For me, to forget

That once upon a time

You were here

I was there

Hands holding tighter

Eyes locked to each other

Hearts that beat in a synchronizing manner  



How much would it cost?

For the pain to stop

For the memories to abandon

For the feelings to fade

My love, I did not expect any of this

I didn't know that love can be deadly

A love that can force someone to commit suicide  

That loving someone means tearing every part of yourself





Now, do you think I'm suicidal?

Love, do not be afraid

I'm not going to die

Being suicidal doesn’t mean killing yourself

Suicidal means I wouldn't mind dying

I kept on dying anyway

I kept on dying at the same place I thought was giving life to me  

Because the day, you decided to give up on me

I already gave up on myself.
Chi Jul 2017
Mahal, bitawan mo na ako
Bitawan mo na ang mga kamay ko
Dahil bibigyan ko na ng halaga ang sarili ko
Bitawan na ang mga paa ko
At hayaang tumakbo palayo sayo

Mahal, hanggang dito na lang tayo
Ayoko ng dumating sa punto
Na magkasakitan pa tayo

Mahal, alam kong hindi na ako
Ang nilalaman ng iyong puso
Kaya mahal, palayain mo na ako.
this is for my bestfriend, labyu
Chi Jul 2017
May mga klase ng pagmamahalan
Pagmamahalan na sinimulan ngunit hindi hanggang huli
Pagmamahalan na sinimulan at hanggang huli
May pagmamahalan din naman ng katulad ng atin
Hindi naman sinimulan ngunit, subalit, datapwat, kailangan tapusin
Dahil kahit paulit ulit kong isugal ang puso ko
Alam ko sa huli talo pa din ako dahil hindi lang naman oras at panahon ang kalaban ko
Pati na din ikaw at siya na mahal mo
Gusto ko man ipagsigawan na mahal kita
Mahal kita kahit nakaakibat dito na ayoko na
Mahal kita kahit alam kong siya pa din ang pipiliin mo sa aming dalawa
Mahal kita
Mahal kita
Mahal kita --- kahit walang tayo
Ay mali, ikaw lang pala at ako
Kasi sa simula palang wala naman akong matatawag na tayo
Walang tayo na pinaglalaban ko
Walang tayo na dapat tapusin ko
Chi Jul 2017
Pinilit kong sabayan, ang takbo ng panahon
Nagbabakasakaling malilimutan ka rin
Ginawa na ang tamang desisyon
Na sarili naman ang bibigyan ng pansin

Sinusubukang kalimutan ang mga alaala
Na magpapabalik ng aking dadamdamin
Idinilat ko na ang aking mga mata
Sa mga bagay na maari kong sapitin

Tinahak na ang daan ng hindi ka kasama
Nang hindi lumilingon pabalik sa iyong mga mata
Sinubukan ko
At pilit na sinusubukan

Subalit ito ako, nagaantay sa dati nating tagpuan
Lugar kung saan kita unang nakita at nakilala
Lugar na aking kinamumuhian
Dahil dito, dito mo din tinapos ang lahat

Mahal, hihintayin kita
Hihintayin ko ang pagbabalik mo
Hihintayin ko kahit imposible naman ito
Hihintayin ko na sabihin mo ulit na mahal mo ako
Maghihintay ako

Ngunit mahal, hindi ko maipapangako
Hindi ko maipapangako na hindi ako mapapagod
Hindi ko maipapangako na hindi ako dadating sa puntong aayaw ako
Dahil mahal, tao din ako

Gusto ko din na pahalagahan ako
Gusto kong mahalin ako
Yun nga lang gusto ko galing sayo
Pero sabi nga nila, mahalin mo muna ang sarili mo

Kaya mahal, maghihintay ako
Habang minamahal ko ang sarili ko
Ngunit kung hindi na kita kayang hintayin pa
Sana mahal, maintindihan mo
Dahil mahirap ang dinanas ko para lang makuha yang pagmamahal mo

— The End —