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Dec 2018 · 906
A Kingdom Near the Ocean
Chi Dec 2018
I was once in love with a Captain
And I never thought he would caused me pain
Since he promised me a happy ever after
Then set aside my fear

He was always ready to leave me
For a treasure chest across the sea
Every day that will passed
I longed that we will last

I was once in love with the ocean
Even if I live in the kingdom
Now, I wander my emotion
And plead for my freedom

I stop hoping for a fairytale
Even if I met a prince along the way
He was as I expected him to be
Very charming yet free

He made me laugh and cry
And never knew how to lie
He was the ideal of every human
And I wasnt an exception woman

The Captain came back with hope of another chance
And as the naive princess I can be
I was willing to give him a glance
Yet he couldnt take the risk to stay for me

Now, the princess living in the kingdom
Finally met the prince to give her freedom
For I was once imprisoned
With my love to the Captain

The prince never heard of my Captain
And didnt know about the pain
But he did lit up my heart
As he pointed out my worth

And as the prince set my heart free
I wish that my used to be Captain
Find the best treasure across the sea
For I am now happy, that I found my own King
it was you i was in love with, but you made me feel worthless
Chi Nov 2017
I always love new beginnings, new year resolutions. I love change. I love how January made me feel that "Oh, another year to have fun". I quickly grabbed a chocolate and watched my parents having their own quality time.

They were talking about divorce, and I've always wondered how did divorce even became an option? I never thought he would end the fight with his own fist and her blood. And I hated February, ever since then.

I told my friends that I hated love and how ****** love made me felt last month. They wished love will knock at their door this March. I asked why, they just told me "love isn't always a bad thing, and it never will."

I saw her crying and cursing her boyfriend's name at the corner. The day after that, I hated my Mom for forgiving my Dad, right after what he did. She just told me that's how love works. I guess April was made for bitter people like me.

May is my birth month. It was also the month, when we first met. I never liked the idea of you. You were the kind of guy, everyone can love but not everyone can handle.

I saw you with your friends, you were having fun. You asked me if you can court and steal my heart, I said no, but you continued anyway. June gave me feelings I thought I will never have.

You hugged me tight and asked me to stay. I said, I can't not because I didn't want to, but because I have to. You held my hand and told me you love me. July ended well because of you.

August started with a fight. My Mom hated me. You started talking to other girls, just like how my Dad did. All I did was to cry like tomorrow doesn't exist. You told me how sorry you are, the next day.

I hated September. You told me you didn't love me anymore. I let go of you. I started writing poems since the day you left me. And I guess that was bitter and sweet at the same time.

October wasn't that fun. I drunk my love away and let alcohol control my body. The next day, I found out how I told you how much I love you. And I don't blame alcohol for that.

"You need to move on, it's November already." my friends told me. I remember what my Mom said, so I forgave you for leaving me. But I wished you would never forget about me.

December came with coldness and your warmth is all I craved. I asked your friends, how you were doing, they said, you're fine without me. I used to love change, but now I hate how change overwhelm you completely.
For every month, I bleed poetry
Oct 2017 · 1.6k
Love isn't enough
Chi Oct 2017
I often wonder how it feels like to fall in love with someone who could love you back, but chose not to.

They could fall in love with the way your eyes sparkle.
They could fall in love with the way you smile and laugh at their jokes.
They could fall in love with you, but chose not to.

They could fall in love with the way you dance at their favourite song.
With the way you sing with them.
Or maybe with the way you write all the things you love about them.
They could fall in love with you, but chose not to.

Instead, they chose to fall in love with someone.
Someone who doesn’t know them
Someone who doesn’t love them
Doesnt know their favourite song

Then you wonder why
Why did they chose not to fall in love with you
When you know everything about them
When they know that you will always be there for them
When you love them

But sometimes, love isn’t enough.
Just because you love someone, they will love you back.
Even if you’re loveable person, they will still choose not to love you back
Because maybe, maybe they really wasn’t for you
Oct 2017 · 61.4k
Mahal kita, pero pagod na ako
Chi Oct 2017

Naalala mo pa ba yung mga panahon na puro ngiti at saya?

Mga araw na puno ng kwentuhan, asaran at tawanan

Na hindi ko malaman

Kung saan nanggaling ang mga iyan

Naalala mo pa ba kung paano ko lagyan ng ngiti ang iyong mga labi

At tila nilagyan ng bituin ang iyong mga mata?

Naalala mo pa ba kung paano mo sinabi sa akin na gusto mo ako?

Tila hindi ka pa nga sigurado sa nadarama mo

Naalala mo pa ba nung tinanong mo ako kung pwede bang manligaw?

Tila nanlumo ka pa nga sa sagot ko.

At hindi nagtagal, ay unti unti mo din binitawan ang salitang “Mahal kita. Mahal na mahal kita”

Dahil ako? Naalala ko pa

Naalala ko pa kung paano tayo nagkakilala

Kung paano sinabi sa akin ng kaibigan mo, na gusto mo ako

Kung paano mismo nanggaling sa bibig mo, na gusto mo nga ako

Kung paano ko binigkas ang salitang “Mahal din kita”

Kung paano mo unti unting binabawi ang salitang “Mahal kita”

Dahil sabi mo,

Sabi mo pagod ka na, ayaw mo na, sawa ka na

Kung paano ako nagpakatanga, habang tinutulak ka sa babaeng gusto mo

Habang sinasabing “Kung saan ka masaya, duon ako

Kahit masakit, kakayanin ko”

At naalala ko pa, kung paano mo sinabing “Patawad, mahal pa din kita.”

Tinanggap kita.

Tinanggap ko lahat ng eksplenasyon at rason mo.

Lahat lahat, kahit ilang beses kong narinig na ang tanga ko

Dahil tinanggap kita, pero masisisi ba nila ako?

Masisisi ba nila ako kung mahal pa din kita?

Masisisi ba nila ako kung patuloy pa din akong umaasa na babalik yung tayo?

Hindi naman diba?

Kasi unang una sa lahat, hindi sila yung nagmahal

Hindi sila yung sinaktan at iniwan

Ilang gabi akong umiyak

Ilang gabi kong iniyakan ang paulit ulit na dahilan

Ilang beses akong nagpakatanga sa paulit ulit na rason

Ilang beses akong tinanong kung kaya ko pa ba?

Kung masaya pa ba ako?

Kung pagod na ba ako?

Hanggang saan yung kaya ko?

At duon ko natagpuan

Duon ko natagpuan ang sarili ko

Namamahinga sa pagitan ng “Mahal kita” at “Pagod na ako”

Pero mahal, masisisi mo ba ako kapag sinabi kong pagod na ako?

Masisisi mo ba ako kung sinabi ko sayong gusto kong magpahinga habang minamahal mo?

Kung ang gusto ko lang ay ipadama mo ulit sa akin ang nadarama mo?

Kung ang gusto ko lang kalimutan ang sakit na dinulot mo?

Kung pagod na ako kakaisip sa salitang “kayo”?

Kung pagod na ako kakaiyak dahil parang siya pa din ang gusto mo?

Kung lagi kong naiisip na baka kaya mo ako binalikan, dahil hindi ka niya gusto?

Mahal, wag **** iisipin na ayoko na sayo

Wag **** iisipin na kaya ko gustong magpahinga dahil pagod na ako

Dahil tulad ng sabi mo, kung pagod na ako, magpahinga ako

Kasi mahal, gusto kong magpahinga

Para muling madama ang init ng pagibig

Na tila ba sa akin ay iyong ipinagkait Muling masulyapan ang mga matang

Tila ba hinahanap ako sa libo libong tao

Mahal, patawad.

Mahal kita, pero pagod na ako

Pero hindi ibigsabihin nito ay palayain mo ako

Ibig kong sabihin, ipaglaban mo naman ako.

Ipaglaban mo naman ako, dahil pagod na ako.
Oct 2017 · 514
Chi Oct 2017
Years ago, I dont even know you
And now, everything reminds me of you
Oct 2017 · 492
When You Arrived
Chi Oct 2017
You know what's the worst thing about love?

It's falling in love with someone

And that someone made you feel that they're also in love with you

But little did you know, he will leave you

He will leave you with different I love yous

In every corner of your room

Different scents

In your sweater, or jacket rather

I gave you everything

Every love

Every attention

Every word, poem, song I can think of

But I guess, it wasn't enough to make you stay

Love will never be enough to make you stay

Dear, I can feel you forgetting me

I can feel that you’re hiding me between the words of I miss you  

I love you and I'm sorry


If you want to leave then go

Don’t hesitate

Don’t think of my feelings, because I will always be vulnerable

If you want to come back


Sorry won't fix anything

Love will never be enough to come back, if it doesn’t make you stay

Then suddenly, all the promises became empty

All I love yous became boring

All I miss yous became lie

Dear, you are more than drugs and alcohol

You gave more damage than them

But dear, this is not about you

This about the feelings you leave

The pieces you tear apart

This is about me

About how fool I am to think that maybe

Maybe, deep down in your heart I am there.

I never feared losing someone.

Because I've always been the one to leave

But when I saw that dull eyes

It terrifies me, that someday you will leave  

And you did
Chi Oct 2017
People often ask me what love is  

And I seriously don't know what it means

All I can think about is you

Your eyes, those brown eyes

Those eyes which saw me naked  

You saw every scar on my body  

Yet the only thing you said was

“You are beautiful”  

Love, I am not beautiful

Scars, stretch marks, blood, wounds

Doesn't mean beautiful

I am not an art

Yet your lips kissed me

The way the sun kissed my skin every morning

Without a fail, without any doubt

You smiled.  

And the only words that came to my mind was

"****, this is trouble"

My love, your words hold me like a hostage

Trapped inside an empty box, finding a way out.  

A way I can never ever get a glimpse of.

I knew that this love

Our love would last a lifetime  

Or so I thought

We were torn apart by hatreds, insecurities, confusions

Maybe if it wasn't for distance  

We would be still together, we could have worked it out

But maybe, no matter what decisions we'll make

We will still come to an end

Confused about the future

Insecure about other people

Hating each other

You, giving up

And me, craving for more

Craving for something that can fill up the hole inside my chest

I wanted you to stay forever, here beside me

But every time I would ask about it

You always said

"You deserve so much more"

You were once my everything

My other half

My partner in crime  

You were someone so freaking important to me

You were the kind of mistake, I wouldn't mind repeating

I fell so hard for you

And guess what happened?

Love, I am broken

How many days, months, years

For me, to forget

That once upon a time

You were here

I was there

Hands holding tighter

Eyes locked to each other

Hearts that beat in a synchronizing manner  

How much would it cost?

For the pain to stop

For the memories to abandon

For the feelings to fade

My love, I did not expect any of this

I didn't know that love can be deadly

A love that can force someone to commit suicide  

That loving someone means tearing every part of yourself

Now, do you think I'm suicidal?

Love, do not be afraid

I'm not going to die

Being suicidal doesn’t mean killing yourself

Suicidal means I wouldn't mind dying

I kept on dying anyway

I kept on dying at the same place I thought was giving life to me  

Because the day, you decided to give up on me

I already gave up on myself.
Jul 2017 · 2.2k
Mahal, palayain mo na ako
Chi Jul 2017
Mahal, bitawan mo na ako
Bitawan mo na ang mga kamay ko
Dahil bibigyan ko na ng halaga ang sarili ko
Bitawan na ang mga paa ko
At hayaang tumakbo palayo sayo

Mahal, hanggang dito na lang tayo
Ayoko ng dumating sa punto
Na magkasakitan pa tayo

Mahal, alam kong hindi na ako
Ang nilalaman ng iyong puso
Kaya mahal, palayain mo na ako.
this is for my bestfriend, labyu
Jul 2017 · 1.9k
Klase ng Pagmamahalan
Chi Jul 2017
May mga klase ng pagmamahalan
Pagmamahalan na sinimulan ngunit hindi hanggang huli
Pagmamahalan na sinimulan at hanggang huli
May pagmamahalan din naman ng katulad ng atin
Hindi naman sinimulan ngunit, subalit, datapwat, kailangan tapusin
Dahil kahit paulit ulit kong isugal ang puso ko
Alam ko sa huli talo pa din ako dahil hindi lang naman oras at panahon ang kalaban ko
Pati na din ikaw at siya na mahal mo
Gusto ko man ipagsigawan na mahal kita
Mahal kita kahit nakaakibat dito na ayoko na
Mahal kita kahit alam kong siya pa din ang pipiliin mo sa aming dalawa
Mahal kita
Mahal kita
Mahal kita --- kahit walang tayo
Ay mali, ikaw lang pala at ako
Kasi sa simula palang wala naman akong matatawag na tayo
Walang tayo na pinaglalaban ko
Walang tayo na dapat tapusin ko
Jul 2017 · 4.3k
Maghihintay ako
Chi Jul 2017
Pinilit kong sabayan, ang takbo ng panahon
Nagbabakasakaling malilimutan ka rin
Ginawa na ang tamang desisyon
Na sarili naman ang bibigyan ng pansin

Sinusubukang kalimutan ang mga alaala
Na magpapabalik ng aking dadamdamin
Idinilat ko na ang aking mga mata
Sa mga bagay na maari kong sapitin

Tinahak na ang daan ng hindi ka kasama
Nang hindi lumilingon pabalik sa iyong mga mata
Sinubukan ko
At pilit na sinusubukan

Subalit ito ako, nagaantay sa dati nating tagpuan
Lugar kung saan kita unang nakita at nakilala
Lugar na aking kinamumuhian
Dahil dito, dito mo din tinapos ang lahat

Mahal, hihintayin kita
Hihintayin ko ang pagbabalik mo
Hihintayin ko kahit imposible naman ito
Hihintayin ko na sabihin mo ulit na mahal mo ako
Maghihintay ako

Ngunit mahal, hindi ko maipapangako
Hindi ko maipapangako na hindi ako mapapagod
Hindi ko maipapangako na hindi ako dadating sa puntong aayaw ako
Dahil mahal, tao din ako

Gusto ko din na pahalagahan ako
Gusto kong mahalin ako
Yun nga lang gusto ko galing sayo
Pero sabi nga nila, mahalin mo muna ang sarili mo

Kaya mahal, maghihintay ako
Habang minamahal ko ang sarili ko
Ngunit kung hindi na kita kayang hintayin pa
Sana mahal, maintindihan mo
Dahil mahirap ang dinanas ko para lang makuha yang pagmamahal mo

— The End —