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Beelz Dec 2017
i thought maybe if I looked at you the way the stars see the moon

then maybe you would look at me the way the earth follows the sun

but the only reaction I received was
how the moon saw the sun when it first rised

fleeting and without a second glance
Beelz Dec 2017
You were not made out of love
Only one sided
I wish I could tell you were
But only I can't

I will never meet you
I will never hold you
I will never sing you to sleep
You were with me for such a short time

I can only hope you are in heaven


If you were a girl, you would be Arden

Goodnight,
I'll meet you in my dreams
Beelz Feb 2017
To the terracotta freckled green eyed boy,

I am not in love with you anymore

If I had told myself that this would happen, I would have told you that you were horribly wrong

Dear boy,
When I see you
my heart does not tap away morse code with heartbeats trying to tell you the extent of my affection

I do not dream of a future with you
Or what our daughter would look like and what she would call your parents

I do not shiver at the thought of joining our bodies in deceleration of our love
covering ourselves in sweat and humanity

I used to call the curve of your neck and the safety of your arms around me home

But I have learned that home is not you, a house, or anyone
It is myself
I will love myself to the ends of the earth
I will learn the curves and nooks of my body
Fall in love with myself because I am courageous and beautifully made

I am not in love with you anymore because I fell in love with myself
Beelz Aug 2016
Dear green eyes, I know you see me.
Will you give me something to hold on?
My heart flutters as rapidly as it deteriorates, with love for you.

Green eyes, I am losing my mind.
Day fades into night.
There is a tremor in my left hand.


Green eyes, I can't breathe.
I am consumed.
Insanity is tearing through my skin and making it's way to the surface.

Green eyes, I am frozen.
Breathe into me.

I could love you but I am too lost in you to notice that
path of destruction
that I have created.
Beelz Jul 2016
I am interested in you
The little things you do
Like how after you get your hair cut short
You still try to brush the hair from your eyes.

I am interested in knowing your family
Because you have parents, aunt, and uncles who adore you
You have a beautiful sister who is amazing and loves you
I am interested in your family because
I have never known that feeling.

I am interested in you.

What makes you, you. What makes you laugh, cry, love - What makes you want to live.

I am interested in making a home in your arms, and decorating the space. To come and rest, for I am tired.

I am interested in loving you.
Trust me, it is the most interesting thing I have ever done.

— The End —