I view my world through broken glass

it distorts everything I see.

Things that should be nice and comforting

all look dangerous to me.

Everything around me, everyone I know

is so twisted and unreal.

I’m living in this nightmare wasteland

where fear is all I feel.

I know this place is beautiful

I hear it all the time

but it just looks like a prison cell

to these broken eyes of mine.

All these strangers that surround me

I guess you’d call them family and friends

just make me feel like I’m a spy

who’s trying to act like one of them.

Is there somewhere out there I can go

that will really look like home?

or am I doomed to see only ugliness,

and to always feel alone?

Are there people out there in this world

who will truly be my friends?

who will love me and respect me

and on whom I can depend?

If I keep searching long enough

will I ever find a way

to see the beauty in this life

so I will have a reason to stay?

Or will I wander aimlessly

until the day I die?

looking for a place and a life

that I will never find?

I wish that I could see the world

for what it really is

but my corrupted vision

is a problem I don’t know how to fix.

For now I’ll keep pretending

to see things the way you do

and hope that I’m the one who’s wrong

and it’s you who sees the truth.

Still hunger for your skin,
  thirsting the lips that
   once melded into mine
one last blissful night together
  flowing of wine and passion,
never suspecting you were
   letting me down easy,
our hearts were in sync -
      or so I was led to believe
   veiled in ecstasy,
    a cruelty worse than death
      in the least, dying has a final chapter

Can we get married in
the sea ? Swim our
way to the shore ?

Dress up fancy and let
me adjust your bow.

Can we knot our fingers
together and swim out
of the gentle waves ?

Feel the shells beneath
our toes and the love deep
in our bones.

Can we kiss under the water
as you place your hands
under my white fluffy
dress and grab me by
the heart and hips ?

Can we have some wild fun
as we hum the same
song along and our lips
kiss till they go numb ?  

While the salted water
wrinkles the skin on our
hands and feet.

As we exchange emotions
that are soft and sweet.

Can we get married in the
sea ?

Baby it'll be just you
and me I promise it'll be
oh so heavenly* ~

the water dreams,
wild as a sea,
tranquil as a star.

smoke and ghosts,
utter emptiness.

the moon drifting
in a smouldering sea
of grey inks.

Mine lonesome eyes,
                                     Drowning in sorrow....


©Brandon nagley
©Lonesome poet's poetry

~

Miles of nothing,
beige on beige on beige
The sun is screaming,
blistering my skin,
draining me slowly
as breath is heated
and tastes bitter
Shoulders slung low
I can’t stand straight,
bent over struggling,
nothing is anywhere
and nowhere is here

Leaving footprints
for the wind dancers,
black feather fathers,
winged circlers
High above, watching
sifting time
in weakened increments,
hourglass patterns of
falling granules
sinking deeper

Water is a dream
and this dream, a nightmare
for it is there,
just ahead, I can see it glistening
but it does not exist
nothing exists,
as the oasis in my mind
dries up, leaving
empty indentations
on horizontal planes, flat lands
of arid emotions
drifting in and out
reaching for…
reaching

As I lay here
Encapsulated in softness
I close my eyes tenderly
For my dreams are placid
Gossamer, floating wild yet gently
My dreams are the sparkles
My dreams are the ambers
But my dreams are not dreams
My dreams are honeyed streams
Manifestation
Of bliss, of love so pure

I am witness of a miracle
I was born once as mortal clay
Buried deep within, seeds of my dark fate
They said,
“You can change not,
Your fate is forged,
On iron pages it is wrought”
Exclaimed I;
“Does not moisture crack the seeds?
Does not I carry that grows to reed?”

So I marched on barren lands
Wildly searching that could damp
Scared,  a step with each heartbeat
Thorns piercing and bleeding my feet
To heavens I prayed in desperate I cried,
Tears of agony in my eyes
That moment bestowed upon me
Our blood is the water that damps the seeds
The more we bleed, the more we reap

Hence I was reborn amongst sunniest rays
To taste the sweetness in bitterness
To experience the noise in silence
To listen the music in smiles
To see the laughter in eyes

As I drift to sleep now
I will not dream, I can never dream
My reality is too beautiful,
My reality is all I dream

Until that day when,
My reality becomes only a dream,
When my lids would turn stones
And the blood in me runs dry
Till that last day,
I will use my blood
To moist my seeds of fate