Some nights
I sit and wish
that stars could collide
with the raindrops
and fall upon my skin
so that I could absorb
the glittering stardust
and illuminate my ribcage
that is so haunted and burdened
with feelings that can
only escape through the light
of something so everlasting
as the millions of stars
in the night sky.

I’m spending more days inside
my thoughts, wrapped in the
layers of sheets, in the creases
of my mattress and I think
it’s a sign that something’s
wrong but I don’t care
I just don’t
care.

Everyone’s always saying that
you shouldn’t romanticize sadness
but you know, it’s actually quite beautiful
to witness someone’s ability
to withstand the pain
that they deal with and I think
that should be celebrated.

We were free like the water
flowing smooth and swift
until we hit the rocky bottom
way too fast
and collided into one another
with such force
that neither of us could withstand
the impact.

I want to write poetry but all I can do is relive old memories and hope for unhopeful moments. How can I unteach the words you've taught me or unfeel the touch of your hands or unsee the flecks of light in your eyes or undo everything that once was between us? If I can learn how to make this happen maybe I could find a new muse.

I took a walk near the lake today
and the sun shined on my face
and the waves sparkled like teal glitter
and I could hear the seagulls laughing
and I smiled because it was the first time
in a long time that I had felt pure, relaxed joy
and it wasn't because of you.

I need to stop writing about you. My god, I sound pathetic.