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20.3k · Apr 2014
Reflection
Ashleigh Black Apr 2014
She saw how the angry, greyish ocean
crashed upon the shore
with such fury and disgust
and couldn't help but compare it
to the endless nights where
she'd sit and stare at that
hateful, taunting piece of glass
with a reflection as grotesque
as the image of the waves
while they aimed to devour the coastline.
I don't feel pretty today. It happens.
8.3k · Apr 2014
Fate
Ashleigh Black Apr 2014
It wasn’t our eyes when they met
or our smiles that we gave
or our hands when they touched
but our hearts when they felt
-- that was kismet.
Sorry for all of the updates. I'm just transferring old poems to here.
5.4k · Jul 2014
Good night
Ashleigh Black Jul 2014
We rode the night
like the back of the wind
high on incense and adrenaline
skating through alleys and street signs

The sky lay dark and glittery
as if it were covered in cheap jewelry
like the earrings that hanged from my lobes
that your lips touched when you kissed my neck

It was a night to remember
with the person you love
without one **** to be given
except about this moment.
this would be wonderful.
5.3k · Apr 2014
City Skies
Ashleigh Black Apr 2014
Remember that day
where we spent our time among the city
all the way until the evening
We played and we laughed and smiled
and we were happy –
the happiest we ever were

Because we burned with such a passion
that glowed with every step we took,
with our hearts on fire
as you spun me round and round

And all I could do was stare into your eyes;
those deep hazel eyes that are
forever burned in my soul

And that evening you left
with no reason at all
You only left the words
“see you soon”
Whenever that is

And the thing is
I knew you wouldn’t come back
And the thing is
no matter what
I would shine for you,
be your star

I want to guide you back home
back to me
Because that's all I can do for you;
I would burn for you.
this is about you
4.8k · Sep 2014
Iron
Ashleigh Black Sep 2014
Why aspire to be stardust
when you can be the
iron that creates it;
the element that causes
explosions of the largest stars
and resilience that holds the
whole universe together?
4.6k · Apr 2014
Roadtrip
Ashleigh Black Apr 2014
Please wait 'til I get home
Wait 'til I no longer see
state lines and skylines
because I swear things will be
different
and we will be
different
and I'll sing you to sleep
and touch your face
and love you until
the end of time.
Things could last.
4.0k · Apr 2014
Finals
Ashleigh Black Apr 2014
My head is lacking
the capacity to think
in straight lines and squares.
I hate finals week. **** me now.
3.5k · Apr 2014
Folds
Ashleigh Black Apr 2014
If you could read my mind,
I swear to god it would make you
cry.
3.1k · Nov 2014
Unexpected
Ashleigh Black Nov 2014
You came into my life
at an unexpected time
in the most unusual way
yet everything about you
seemed to fit with ease
like the way you smiled
with your teeth or
how you place your hand
against my cheek
or how with the uttermost perfection
you fit into the crease of my neck
with such grace and such love
and all I can ask if you'd like to
stay.
3.1k · Apr 2014
Six-word poetry #1
Ashleigh Black Apr 2014
I'd tie loose ends for you.
2.8k · Apr 2014
Hazel
Ashleigh Black Apr 2014
I kind of miss way back
when you and I were
just us and everyday,
everyday was only ours.

You stood out like
every mishap does
and I could never regret you.
(Just open your eyes.)
2.8k · Apr 2014
Warmth
Ashleigh Black Apr 2014
Your name still lingers in my hushed mouth
with no key to set you free

But if you wrap me in a blanket
and place me in your arms
under a midnight sky
I will always see your loving face
staring back at mine
And I will reach for your cheek
hoping to graze it one last time
but those hopes could never be mine

Because like the dawning of the day
and the warming of the air
the darkest places in our hearts
will always see the light
And with that light I will know that

I must’nt wish for moments
that will never come to life.
2.8k · Sep 2014
Feather
Ashleigh Black Sep 2014
I don't want to write
about the aches and pains,
the light-as-a-feather feeling
of love anymore
because they aren't
just some words you
write on paper,
they're the feelings
left from the one
you thought was the one
and they weren't
and I don't want that anymore.
2.4k · May 2014
Looks
Ashleigh Black May 2014
It's been awhile
since I've seen your face
in all that it is --
your inviting dimples,
the flecks of gold in your eyes,
the pinkish tones in your lips
-- and I can't take much more of it.
2.3k · Jun 2016
Bucket List
Ashleigh Black Jun 2016
In this moment I pray:
For peace
For strength
For life to slow down
to speed up
To give me all the things I want
To take away all the things that break me
To end my rollercoaster emotions
up and down
side-to-side
happy and sad

In this moment I beg:
To be successful
to feel proud of the strides I've made
to not feel like a failure
that I will be nobody forever
that I will be stuck in the same place
for the rest of my life
For the day I will see the light
and I will trust my feet to take me where I need to be
to appreciate all that I have
and to stop comparing myself to others

And in this moment I hope:**
That I will continue to fight for my life
That I will get better one day
That I'll no longer be sick and scared
That I will find what I'm meant to do
That God actually does have a plan for me
and I just need to be patient and have faith
That healing will take place
And that there will be a day
That I will no longer feel this pain
That it will be replaced with joy.
2.2k · Jul 2014
Choices
Ashleigh Black Jul 2014
I got lost chasing light in darkness
until I decided to become the light.
2.2k · Aug 2014
Brick House
Ashleigh Black Aug 2014
The sadness is beginning to set in
like the grapevines that grow up the side of an old brick house
gnarled and tangled in such a unfixable mess
just like the inner workings of the soul of mine
that once felt love and beauty and strength
growing in bouquets of flowers from my chest
unfortunately those flowers rotted and decayed
yet never really left, just like the proof that's shown
from the overcrowded webs of vines that still grow
up the side of that old brick house.
2.0k · Jul 2014
Amazing Grace
Ashleigh Black Jul 2014
Amazing grace, how sweet the sound
that saves a wretch like me
one so undeserving of the love
that is brought upon me.

I once was lost
in a coldhearted rage
for the world around me
appeared to be so against me.

But now I'm found
I am in love with life
because You showed me
that all is possible.

I was blind but now I see
I see the glory in all that life is,
all of it's ups and downs
and I see I will always be promised eternal days.
1.8k · Jul 2014
Slave
Ashleigh Black Jul 2014
This is what I need --
to be free,
to break the chains
that hold my wrists
so tightly --
because I can no longer
be a slave to these
empty emotions
that have never
brought me warmth.
1.8k · May 2014
Waves
Ashleigh Black May 2014
We were free like the water
flowing smooth and swift
until we hit the rocky bottom
way too fast
and collided into one another
with such force
that neither of us could withstand
the impact.
I don't know how I feel about this one. I'm trying to do something different. I just don't know what yet that needs to be different.
1.8k · Apr 2014
Swings
Ashleigh Black Apr 2014
It's the way it creeps into your brain
and intoxicates your thoughts
and triggers unwanted emotions
and inhibits your every move
leaving you paralyzed from
the neck down.

And there's nothing you can do
except take the red or blue pill --
a temporary solution to
a lifelong illness
that will stop at nothing to
devour all the good inside you.

I just wish it would stop
and allow me to breathe
and keep my chest from feeling
as if a thousand needles are lodged inside.
That's my small request.
Why can't I have that?
Mental illness is a terrible, terrible thing.
1.6k · Aug 2014
Demons
Ashleigh Black Aug 2014
To the ones who
don't see the light
and feel the demons
beneath your skin,
I pray that one day
you will feel the brightness
that comes from happiness
and you can break the chains
that bind you
because why do others
deserve the light
when all you see is darkness?
1.6k · May 2014
Stardust
Ashleigh Black May 2014
Some nights
I sit and wish
that stars could collide
with the raindrops
and fall upon my skin
so that I could absorb
the glittering stardust
and illuminate my ribcage
that is so haunted and burdened
with feelings that can
only escape through the light
of something so everlasting
as the millions of stars
in the night sky.
I watched a meteor shower the other night and thought of this.
1.4k · Jun 2014
Deep Down
Ashleigh Black Jun 2014
You have to know that deep down inside all of the cracks and crevices of your heart that I will always fit in those fragmented spaces. You want to know how I know this? Because you are my morning songbirds when I wake up and my northern star that guides me home on dark summer nights and your heart aches when I ache like we are in each other's skin. I fit nowhere else but here.
I got a notebook so now I'll spend more time thinking before I write.
1.4k · Oct 2014
Faith
Ashleigh Black Oct 2014
Spirit, lead me where my faith is without borders,
let me walk across the marshland, desert, or sea
because I call upon Your name, everyday,
my heart rests in Your embrace
and I know You won't let my feet
sink beneath me.
My prayer has been lacking, my bible-reading has been light, and my faith falters. But no more.
1.4k · Jul 2014
Honeysuckle Kisses
Ashleigh Black Jul 2014
She's got jade in her eyes
and amber in her hair
and pearls in her smile
and skin of porcelain

She smells of honeysuckle and rosemary
and tastes of licorice and mint
and feels like the smooth side of my pillow
as she rests her head on my neck

And if I could ask for one thing in this world
it would be to have her by my side
from this day forth and forevermore
'til heaven and earth collide.
1.4k · Jul 2014
Undertow
Ashleigh Black Jul 2014
She let herself lose control in
the blue-black depths of her heart
that rolled with the undertow of
thoughts and memories that consumed her.

Waves upon waves crashed upon her
as she tried to forget the
days when she smiled with love
but those days no longer existed.

She couldn't find it in her to
see the glory of the air
that kept her lungs from collapsing
or the wind blowing her hair.
1.3k · May 2014
Apple Tree
Ashleigh Black May 2014
I dreamt last night that
it was summer
and you were with me
just you and I
and the grass beneath your back
as I laid on your chest
and we couldn't stop laughing
and smiling
and oh my, kissing
and this all was just too good
and then I woke up
with tears on my cheeks
knowing I might never have that
again with you.
This really happened and now I'm really quite upset.
1.3k · Aug 2014
Crave
Ashleigh Black Aug 2014
I never craved life as much
as I did when I was with you
but now there are holes in my chest
and the fire is dying down
and I can't find the excitement
I once possessed.

It feels so long ago
that you left me to the wayside
and I can't believe I can't shake it,
shake you from my skin
I just crave to have that spark of life
once again, by myself, without you in it.
1.3k · Apr 2014
Untitled
Ashleigh Black Apr 2014
I see your face in everything
-- the reflection of a dripping wet window,
the whispering leaves on a mangrove tree
in the creases of my rustled bedsheets --
I see you in everything I cannot avoid.
1.2k · Apr 2014
Waiting
Ashleigh Black Apr 2014
I'll stand here alone
with my thoughts and the shoreline
just waiting to hear your voice.
Not about anyone in particular. Just felt like writing this.
1.2k · Jun 2014
Yellow
Ashleigh Black Jun 2014
Paint a picture of me
near the riverside
beneath a willow
I'll wear that yellow dress
you liked so much
and I'll rest my cheek upon my hand
and brush the hair from my eyes
and stare through the canvas on which you paint
and then I'll whisper to myself that
after this, all you have left to look at
is this picture.
I want to say goodbye to you but you never gave me the chance.
1.1k · Dec 2014
Dying
Ashleigh Black Dec 2014
I think I'm dying.
There's a pain in my chest
and my hands shake like crazy
and all that plays in my head
is the way you kissed me on my forehead
and said, "I'm so, so sorry."

I feel so pathetic
because I know it's over
but you still bring me to my knees
and I still beg for you to stay.
But nothing keeps you in my arms
and there's gotta be a way I can deal with that.

Sometimes you need to learn
that moving on is painful
and moving on is hard
but moving on is needed
when you have nowhere else to turn and
no one else to rely on.
Something hurts inside me and no one seems to be able to fix it.
1.1k · Jan 2015
Selfish
Ashleigh Black Jan 2015
I can't stand the thought
of you with someone else
because though you're not mine
at least not really,
they get to have what I want
and that's you, all to myself
with nothing else in between
except thin linen sheets
and raw skin.

I can't help but be selfish.
1.1k · May 2014
Beauty In The Breakdown
Ashleigh Black May 2014
Everyone’s always saying that
you shouldn’t romanticize sadness
but you know, it’s actually quite beautiful
to witness someone’s ability
to withstand the pain
that they deal with and I think
that should be celebrated.
Just my opinion.
1.1k · Aug 2014
Stay
Ashleigh Black Aug 2014
You could change me
if only you'd be here
by my side
until the end of time.

You could fix my broken bones
and mend the holes in my heart
and tell me that everything
will be alright, only if you want.

But in all honesty
I need you more
than you need me
and so I beg you to just stay.
1.1k · Apr 2014
Letters To God #1
Ashleigh Black Apr 2014
God, there are so many things I want in life but they feel so out of reach, I feel so trapped in a cage that has no way of escape. I'm suffocating under the weight of this heartbreaking world that I don't know how to fix.
1.0k · Jul 2018
Adulting Soliloquy
Ashleigh Black Jul 2018
Tonight, as I lay in bed, thoughts playing old memories on rewind - stop & pause at the good moments, fast forward through all the bad - my brows begin to furrow as I ask myself... what if? What if I would’ve decided to go a different college? What if I actually changed my major when I realized I would never be a striving politician? What if I would have not lived for others and lived for myself?

Well, here’s the beautiful thing about what ifs: it’s not the life you’re meant to live. If I didn’t study what I did I never would have met my husband. If I never met my husband I never would have realized I wanted to become a nurse. If I never lived these moments, I never would have found my true destiny. I can’t say I’m happy that it took me so long to find my purpose in life, but when I reflect on my life I now realize the mindset I needed to get to where I am today and not where it was 5 years ago. Unfortunately, life doesn’t wait for you to catch up. Thankfully, I have someone who undoubtedly believes in my abilities to succeed.

Regardless of how long it took to figure out or how long it takes for me to get to where I’m meant to be, I’m proud of the woman I’ve become and am still becoming.
1.0k · Apr 2014
Haiku #5
Ashleigh Black Apr 2014
You crashed into me,
and as we sunk to the depths
you brought the world too.
it's a haiku writing week.
1.0k · Jul 2012
What I've Learned to Accept
Ashleigh Black Jul 2012
I’ve made it a routine now

to decide what I am willing

to free from my thoughts.

And I have told myself that

those things can no longer invade

my every days

because you see,

change happens

and change is good

especially when you decide to change

for the better

for yourself

so you can remember the dreams

you once had but lost

so you can find something else that

makes you feel alive in ways you’ve never felt

but I would like to make a point that

you should not forget the things or ones

who made you come to these conclusions.


Because you see,

they were your starting blocks

they helped shape you

they taught you about love

and creativity

and happiness

and peace

and acceptance

they helped to learn to enjoy the things that were in store for you

and you should never regret the experience, or wish it were back

or be mad at yourself or others for why they ended.

just be happy that you got those chances,

and that is something that you can never replace.


I’ve lived the past month

questioning my journey

and my choices

and wondering what would happen if I could just rewind

could I fix how I loved

or how I treated myself or others

how to not appreciate the opportunities I have

and the experiences I will remember forever?

And I became angry, and confused, and remorseful

because I am self-critical.

I believe myself to be the bearer of bad news

of pessimistic mentality

of the need to timestamp everything.


But today, I’ve had an epiphany.

I realized that I cannot regret the fact that

things fall apart

and things cannot be mended

and that you might never feel the way you used to

with someone or in someplace

but sometimes you shouldn’t want to

because you need to be open to new experiences

you need to be open to loving someone new

or to living a different kind of life

or to experience new people and places

and basically need to grow up

and realize that there is room for better

and you’ll experience many moments of better your whole life

and those moments in your past were that

they were good and better than what you’ve had before.

But it’s okay to move on. And be happy for what’s in store.

And that’s what I intend to do,

and currently I really am

trying.
I’ve finally had a breakthrough from writing angsty posts about regret and sorrow and depression and I’m through with doing that. I need to remember positivities and ignore anything less. If you would like to take a look at this rather long poem, please do. I’m quite excited for this. But for now, good night. **
993 · Aug 2014
Radiohead
Ashleigh Black Aug 2014
That was the night that
Radiohead blared through
my radio speakers
and we made out like
it was going out of style
and the stars shined so bright
as we held each other
on the hood of my car
and to this day
I wonder why
because everything was so great
and i loved you 'til the very end.
992 · Feb 2015
Vanish
Ashleigh Black Feb 2015
Every time you say that
you're not worth it
remember the times
you felt something so
strong and moving
that you couldn't contain
yourself. Please harness that
for those moments are fleeting,
forever slipping through
the slits of your fingertips
and eventually vanish from
your memory. Let it engulf you,
contain every bit of you that
one day you'll believe that
life is something to cherish
for you are privileged with only
one.
992 · Jul 2014
Daffodils
Ashleigh Black Jul 2014
Oh, how amazed I am by the beauty that
radiates from the center of your being
as if your only purpose in life was to live
to bring joy to those who witness your love that you give
Oh, how I long to be your companion
lazying the day away, observing the world at our stem.

I wish you would use it's wing-like petals
to fly, but instead you stay in the ground
soaking up sun and watching as
a young couple has
fun on a hand-me-down quilt
that the girl's grandmother once gave her.

Oh, what a life of happiness you must lead.
954 · Dec 2014
365
Ashleigh Black Dec 2014
365
For hours upon hours
I sit on a flimsy, old chair
amongst a large gathering of people
too engrossed in their troubles to notice
that the hours feel like days and days
of loneliness, trapped inside these walls
looking out to see that no one has a care
for the things I feel inside
day in and day out
365 days of the year.
943 · Jun 2012
Come back to me
Ashleigh Black Jun 2012
I want you
I want it to be the same
I wish you would've kept your words
of how you thought we'd be together forever
yet you never gave me or us a chance to prove that
and how you just ran, and led me on down the strand
until I hit the end, left to dangle and plead and question everything
and all I wanted was you.
and you said that's what I had.
and I want it now more than anything.
because surprisingly our distance did nothing to affect
my deepest feelings towards you
and how they've always haunted me even as much as I've pushed them away
because I thought you forgot about me, that I meant nothing
when all I wanted was something, with you.
We were so great and complex and passionate.
and I can't see why I was second choice
what made me such an unappealing choice.
when all I wanted was to care for you as long as I possibly could.
I wrote this at 2:21 am. I wanted to show how my mind works when I can't sleep. So if there are errors, forgive me. I would like to leave them there to show the trouble my mind has on nights like tonight.
929 · Apr 2014
Haiku #4
Ashleigh Black Apr 2014
What a joy it is
to know that for once in some time
life will really be okay.
927 · Jul 2014
Haiku #8
Ashleigh Black Jul 2014
I can still taste the
blackened ash on my burnt lips
left by three coarse words.
Ashleigh Black Jul 2017
I can see all of the glittering bits of you
deep inside your locket heart
waiting for the key of life that will fit
so perfectly into the grooves that yearn
for adventure and exploration,
needing the complexity that fate has
so mysteriously planned out for your soul,
your restless, tireless soul compiled of
figments of imagination and nostalgia
coalesced in the compartments
that keep you hopeful,
ambitious, and destined for
something more,
something better.
My therapist told me to start writing again, especially about what I want to do with my life. This isn't very specific nor is it really about what I want to do with the rest of my life, but it is a step in the right direction. There's hope and determination and I just need to stop being scared to act upon these feelings. I need to take ahold of my future, trust that I am capable to do whatever I set my mind to and just do it.
909 · Jun 2014
Lost
Ashleigh Black Jun 2014
I've lost the words to
say how I feel to someone
who no longer listens.
865 · Nov 2014
Delicate
Ashleigh Black Nov 2014
I can feel your delicate hands
slide up and down my spine
just the way I like.

You kiss my neck
and **** on my ear
waiting until I give in a little.

I pull at your hip
and grind while you moan
I'm just so **** happy that you're home.

You lay me on my back
and take off my shirt
and I finally see that smile and I no longer hurt.
We all know what I want right now.
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