winter eyes hidden under soft white sighs
cold yawns sheathed by small sunrises and the break of dawn
icy smiles that seem to travel for miles, finally showing something worthwhile
but, when summer came, you melted away and i was the one to blame

i was told to never take drugs from the street
but never to not take harsh kisses from the dark brown eyes staring at me through the sheets
i was told to never get into trouble
but never to not fall in the love with the boy that makes me see double
i was told all these things
but none prepared me for the boy with slick hair and a rhythmic heartbeat

i never drank coffee for it was always harsh and strong
i never walked in the dark for it was always a risk
i never asked for the earth to take me away for i loved who i was
but then, my 'i nevers' began to be 'i always' when you let go of my hand
and now i always drink coffee for it's always harsh and strong
i always walk in the dark for it's always a risk
i always ask for the earth to take because what's the use of living without a human being

much like rain on a window, i wanted to be what you stared at as the colors of the sky faded and brightened
much like flowers blooming in the spring, i wanted to be what you longed to hold in your arms as the weather got warmer and you got happier
much like the sun rising, i wanted to produce the ever warm smile you always make no matter how early it is
but, much like the icy dew on the grass and the bitter breeze in the trees, i was the coldest season you ever had

like bags under your eyes
i wanted to stay
but much like a blemish
you worked hard to get me away
like blood in your veins
i wanted to help you live
but much like a disease
you fought me away

I'M TIRED OF TEARING MYSELF DOWN
BUT I CAN'T GET THE KNIFE OUT OF MY BACK
OR MOVE THE GUN FROM MY TEMPLES
OR THE BAD THOUGHTS OUT OF MY HEAD
AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO

your dark blue eyes filled my veins like an ocean tide
your hearty laugh filled my heart like clouds in the sky
your bittersweet goodbye's filled my mind like petals on flowers
you, overall, filled my lungs with air and my bones with marrow

you were what i was missing