if you are there, let the cold in my heart, and in my head, and deep in my bones end

for the leaves on the trees are falling, the bitter wind is settling into my veins, and the rise and fall of my chest is harder to do with the weights

if you are there, let me, for once, feel content

you moved with the soft rise and fall of morning tides in the ocean
and, hastily, i followed, even though i couldn't swim
you walked along soft, high grasses shining in the warmth given by light
and, carefully, i followed, even though the sun burned my skin
you spoke words of sugar and might, letting your soul spill in soft twilight
and, slowly, i followed, even though the taste of sugar ran me dry
you were a night sky, glistening with stars and constellations
and, like always, i was a **** enveloped in your carnations

THE SMALL OF MY BACK YEARNS FOR YOUR TOUCH, MY HANDS CRAVE TO TOUCH YOUR HAIR, BUT I CAN'T SEEM TO SHAKE THE IDEA THAT YOU'RE A DISTANT GHOST AND I CAN'T GET OUT OF THIS FOG

for once in a lifetime do you meet a boy with aquamarine eyes
and only once will he make you feel alright
because like all beauty, the love will fade
and those aquamarine eyes will stare at a different painting
and you will wish you were painted with acrylic instead of oil

the sky is dark, and so are your feelings for me, but i can't stop imagining what it would be like to fill your lungs and watch your chest rise and fall in the light orange shade of the morning light.

the stars are out, and so is your kindness towards me, but i can't stop imagining what it be like if, for once, i was worth something to you.

and then our lips met, and, for what seemed like the thousandth time, brushed off the frost on my lips left behind from the cold i love yous and empty good-byes

and our lips met, and, for the first time, i felt love

winter eyes hidden under soft white sighs
cold yawns sheathed by small sunrises and the break of dawn
icy smiles that seem to travel for miles, finally showing something worthwhile
but, when summer came, you melted away and i was the one to blame

i was told to never take drugs from the street
but never to not take harsh kisses from the dark brown eyes staring at me through the sheets
i was told to never get into trouble
but never to not fall in the love with the boy that makes me see double
i was told all these things
but none prepared me for the boy with slick hair and a rhythmic heartbeat

i never drank coffee for it was always harsh and strong
i never walked in the dark for it was always a risk
i never asked for the earth to take me away for i loved who i was
but then, my 'i nevers' began to be 'i always' when you let go of my hand
and now i always drink coffee for it's always harsh and strong
i always walk in the dark for it's always a risk
i always ask for the earth to take because what's the use of living without a human being

much like rain on a window, i wanted to be what you stared at as the colors of the sky faded and brightened
much like flowers blooming in the spring, i wanted to be what you longed to hold in your arms as the weather got warmer and you got happier
much like the sun rising, i wanted to produce the ever warm smile you always make no matter how early it is
but, much like the icy dew on the grass and the bitter breeze in the trees, i was the coldest season you ever had

like bags under your eyes
i wanted to stay
but much like a blemish
you worked hard to get me away
like blood in your veins
i wanted to help you live
but much like a disease
you fought me away

I'M TIRED OF TEARING MYSELF DOWN
BUT I CAN'T GET THE KNIFE OUT OF MY BACK
OR MOVE THE GUN FROM MY TEMPLES
OR THE BAD THOUGHTS OUT OF MY HEAD
AND I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO

your dark blue eyes filled my veins like an ocean tide
your hearty laugh filled my heart like clouds in the sky
your bittersweet goodbye's filled my mind like petals on flowers
you, overall, filled my lungs with air and my bones with marrow

you were what i was missing

although you were as cold as ice
your touch lit like a flame
i would feel my veins ignite
i would feel my bones glitter and shine
and even though you were so cold
my god, every touch was nothing less of bold

you said you prefer red over blue
so i cut open my veins and showed them to you
you said you preferred the night sky over the burning sun
so i painted myself dark and prayed that it would be enough
you said that you only liked girls who picked at the earth
so i tore the petals off flowers and the leaves off of trees
you said you liked girls who spoke harsh words
so i spoke only words that would cut like glass
then, out of no where, you said you preferred blue over red
and i found myself dead