You looked at me constantly
I couldn’t figure out why
To this day I don’t know for sure why
But, I’m certain you weren’t seeing me.

If you saw me
You’d know
I’m someone who survives by being alone
You’d know
my face is the same one that needs to look in reflective surfaces
just to be sure every aspect is perfect

And you’d know a piece of me is never coming back

I wonder who you saw
and who you thought was looking back at you?

I finally figured it out

I don't let any man
get too close,
take a part of me,
love me

because if I did
I'd finally be accepting,
your empty spot in my life,
needs to be replaced
*
and even with this realization
I'm still scared,
I'm never going to find the strength,
to let go of your vacant hold over me