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I am not the girl you wanted me to be,
but you don't even know it
I know you wanted something different

You want the girl the put on the light blue robe and let a stranger dunk her head under water.
You want the girl that cried at the alter on her knees begging god to bring her friend back
You want the girl who had perfect grades and dated the boy that you liked
You want the girl who did everything you said without question


I hate that I'm breaking you're heart, but in breaking it I'm finally free
I'm finally free

I'm free of the chains that I used to wear like ribbons in my hair
An ode to my parents. I love them.
I'm done
Goodbye
You missed out
I'm better
I deserve better
No more Erik.
 Apr 2014 Aoife Teese
Jeremy Duff
She writes poetry .
I'm not sure,
I'm not one to judge,
but I think it's very good.

It makes me laugh and smile.
It makes me stop and think.
It makes me happy to be in the same room as her.

She listens to hip hop
and reads J.D. Salinger.
 Apr 2014 Aoife Teese
Jeremy Duff
I think I'm better.
At many things;
at being a drug user.
Hold up, you're saying, a better drug user?
How could you be better at using drugs?
Isn't the point for addicts to stop using?
Isn't that what makes them better?
Maybe.

I only buy my **** at the lowest of prices,
yet I always make sure it's good quality,
I won't buy it again if it's not.
//
I never use two days in a row,
or at least I try not to.
I don't use like I did anyway.
****, I hardly remember this last summer,
what with all the hydrocodone,
methamphetamine cut MDMA,
***, and alcohol.
I don't think I was sober for more than two days.

But it's not like that anymore.
I don't get high on days I work,
I don't get ****** at school,
I don't drink on weekdays,
I don't pop Molly anymore.

I'm a better drug user.
I'm going to break you
and when I do
you're gonna say I loved you better than anyone ever has

I'm going to make you wish
that we had met later
so that you had learned not to talk
to girls like me

you're going to grow up
and realize that the pretty girl with makeup on her face
and scars on her thighs
isnt worth falling for
I'm angry
It always takes me a while to realize this
I'm angry
At the fact that I can't get over this guy
I'm angry
That he's all I think about
I'm angry
That no other guy makes me feel this way
I'm angry
That I know that nothing will happen
I'm angry
That I'm wasting my time
I'm angry
That I'm getting depressed
I'm angry
That my sadness is beginning to consume me
I'm angry
That no one will notice
I'm angry
Because I won't tell anyone
I'm angry
That the only person that did listen is gone now
I'm angry
That I don't want to share my feelings
I'm angry
That I'm writing a poem about it
I'm just really angry
No one gets it
Everyone finds it hilarious how much I love you
I know it's weird for me to say that I love you
But I do
Your voice, your dancing, your liveliness
It keeps me happy
It makes me smile
It makes me excited
What would have I done
Without you?
I would still be listening to music that made me angry
Music that made me sad

Instead your music makes me want to dance
It makes me want to love
It makes me want to scream out with joy

I remember being 12
6th grade
I remember looking in the mirror
Crying
Sobbing
Wanting just someone to reach out and hug me
To tell me I was a good girl
To fix my heart

And that's what you did
Not by letting me lay in self-pity
But by telling me
You must not know about me
No they don't
They didn't know about me

So when girls say
Stop talking about Beyoncé
All you do is talk about Beyoncé

Yes I do
Shut the **** up
She saved my life
I'm sorry that my hero is annoying to you
I'm sorry that God never saved me like she did
I'm sorry that you can't even imagine how much I respect her

She's my queen
My Queen B
To the queen B. A rant, and feelings
 Apr 2014 Aoife Teese
Jeremy Duff
It only takes four or five
of those little yellow pills
to make me wonder why I ever sobered up.

My thoughts aren't lingering
and piercing the inside of my skull
as they have been.
Maybe tonight, for the first time in four days I'll be able to sleep more
than three hours.
Maybe I won't wake up shivering
before having to run to the bathroom to lose whatever dinner I managed to eat.

It had been thirteen days since I swallowed, snorted, smoked, or drank
any form or derivative of opiates, and now it's been 45 minutes.

Immediately after I took half of what I had, I dumped the rest in the toilet,
contemplating purging my stomach of any narcotics.
I figured if I had made it this long without even feeling the urge to partake of that which is hidden in a gold lipstick case under my bed, that I could reward myself.
I dumped it down the toilet so I may not use it again tomorrow as the temptation will be stronger than it was an hour ago.

I'm sorry if you have read this far,
as it means very little to you,
but getting these words down,
getting my thoughts down
helps me understand them.
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