too young to understand the words I said
I gave it all to the girl who held my hand
before anyone else would
she kissed me softly
and that
I thought
kept the world together
until I made her's fall apart
having tried to fall too many times
I remain dull and unmoving
yearning for the way it felt
when she commented on my crooked smile
and explained what made me beautiful
we would move mountains so that
our journeys could wander together
if we held close
but in letting go
I have found I love too much, give too much
lie too much and
break too many people
you see
I am the worst person I know
because I see shadows while they see light
or at least they hope to
I want to love viciously
to ache for us to be selfish in our satisfaction
you to love the laugh I can put on your face
touching fingertips as we lay on the grass
I want to learn of your own destruction
and see that I am just a confused boy
you see i've learned
all the worst things about infatuation
the way her favorite color became mine
and how I remember
that
you are the craziest part of me
can we find ourselves resolute
in our own terrible ways
will you touch my hair and kiss me for being here
and will you sit next to me for every sunrise
we care to wake up for
I hold myself together for you
I wait so that you may find me
we can touch our hands just to make sure
that we are safe for each other