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 Jul 2020 Anagha
John White
I just want it to end.

The hopelessness, the fear,
the constant critic in my head:
I've lived with them all for too long.

All I've ever known is this war, this endless battle.
There's nothing wrong with wanting it to end.
To wish that it didn't is cruel.

But why can't the best solution be the simplest?
Why do I have to keep fighting?

At times it's deafening,
and I'm so exhausted.

Why can't I just lay down in no man's land
and let this battle fall silent around me?

Why can't that be the end?

Because... I'll never know what's possible.
 May 2020 Anagha
Zane H
I've got a sandstorm,
blowing through my mind.
A million bits of sand,
is all I'll ever find.

Blinding me today.
Blinding my way.

The massive sandstorm,
rages on and on.
A thousand feelings,
the sand is never gone.

Blinding me today.
Blinding my way.

I'm lost and alone.
winds of sand have blown,
away my sense of direction.
Nothing for protection.

Blinding me today.
Blinding my way.

I trek through the dust.
I know that I must,
Find my inner oasis,
mental clarity's graces.*

Braving the storm,
I'll find my way today.

I sometimes get lost in a sandstorm of thoughts and emotions.
 May 2020 Anagha
Arlo Disarray
I'm sorry that I made a sandstorm in your brain.
It's flowing through your thoughts and it's making you insane.

I'm sorry that I made a sandstorm in your heart.
It's shredding you to bits and tearing you apart.

I didn't mean to make a sandstorm in your head. Causing you to cry and wish that you were dead.

I wish that I could take your sandstorm away.
I'd let it slice my skin up every day.
If it meant that in my life you'd stay...
 May 2020 Anagha
 May 2020 Anagha
Writing my soul out
Writing my tears out
Writing my thoughts out
Writing my emotions out

It won’t go out

I want my heart out
My pain out
It all to stop  
To be numb

But I can’t so I lie in bed
Unmoving except to write it out

I write my soul out
I write my tears out...
And so it begins
 May 2020 Anagha
Green Tea.
 May 2020 Anagha
I sip on my green tea
wishing for it to cleanse me.
Wishing for it, to cleanse out the oils and the misery I consume.
Wishing for it to break down my toxins.
Wishing for it ... to cleanse the sections of myself that even I cannot reach.

Green Tea

A substance that supposedly detoxes the belly, but not strong enough to detox the soul

Not strong enough to take away my shadows, my doubt, my ego or my woes.
A drink, not strong enough to hug my spirit at its loneliest hours.
Yet, I sip
.. praying the wet herbs that tickle my tongue shall unlock the gateway, or the path, or the door... to my soul.

So I sip...
And sip...
And sip...

Swallowing it’s brew...and my tears.
 May 2020 Anagha
To some I look simple
To some I look lovely
To some I look nimble
To some I look ugly
But to all they don't know
To all they can't see
To all they will never know the depth of me
My life's too dreary
Why did I boast?
Now I'm paying the cost
Oh! I'm so weary

Been on too many journeys
Carrying heavy loads
On life's numerous roads
Too weak to survive life's tourneys

They told me home is best
There I can find the cure
Then maybe,I'll become pure
When the beast in me finds rest

That's why I'm here on my knee
With tears in my eye
Sorry 'bout you and I
I'm still just trying to find me.
He was imperfect
He was young
She loved him
She was crazy
She wasn’t so pretty
He loved her

He had doubts
He had challenges
She loved him
She was naïve
She was carefree
He loved her

He was smart
He was cute
She loved him
She got brains
She had talent
He loved her

He lied
He cheated
She loved him
He became rude
He was difficult
She loved him

He was scared
He was reckless
She cared
He was arrogant
He was insensitive
She was hurt

He ignored her
He hurt her more
She became different
He cheated more
He cheated carelessly
She ignored him

He became scarce
He cut off ties
She survived
He was addicted
He was pitiful
She had empathy

He fell
She brought him up
He got sick
She nursed him to health
She slipped
He didn’t catch her
He got into trouble
She turned her back on him

He wanted her back
She didn’t
It was too late
She felt nothing for him

She was,
A diamond he got
She was,
A diamond he lost
 Dec 2019 Anagha
Robert Frost
Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village, though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound’s the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark, and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.
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