You were my first.  
You taught me how to play.
You showed me the ins and outs of love.
Equipped  me with the knowledge I have today.
Your breath on my neck gave me chills
as you opened up a new world of thrills.
Touch here
Kiss there
That look in your eyes
That feeling you gave me made me feel I could fly.
Your nails scratching at my skin
oh how I do enjoy this sin.

Our love is forbidden yet it was meant to be.
You married another yet you still sought me.
We laughed and we joked in secret, no one to see our face.
For if we were discovered, we'd forever be disgraced.
What we have isn't "normal,"  it's almost supernatural at its core
and every time you leave me, I'm always wanting more.

What is the meaning of life if you feel life has no meaning?
Day by day and moment by moment each breath becomes more monotonous  than the last.
Nothing inspires.
Nothing saddens.
Nothing excites.

My soul has gone cold and my heart has dried up.

She lies there sleeping so content.
All warm and snuggled in her bed.
Shes small but safe.  Her blanky  protecting her from harm.
From the real world.
A place so big that it's easy to get lost.  
Keep sleeping oh sweet child
that you may never know pain.
Live in dream land for there you are free.
I fear for when you wake and are forced to  stare life in the face.
I'm sorry for the hurt that will come.
If I could protect you from it, I would.

Sitting on the shelf I wait until I'm wanted.
But til then I'll sit still and haunted.

One eye missing and my curly hair falling out
I can see now that there is no doubt.

All you ever wanted was something to hold when you felt alone in the night
then to cast out again in the morning, filled with fright.

You like power too much, everything must be under your control
but can't you see your power taking it's toll?

Did I do something wrong? Did I not play "right?"
Why must you now fill me with fright?

Threats and ***** looks are your weapons of choice
leaving me  now unable to use my voice.

I will never understand if you love or if you hate,
but I refuse to sit here and wait.

Calm and peaceful, full of it's own unique beauty
everyone buried deep in sleep.
While all of us just sit up here and silently weep.
Our hearts cry for who and what we've lost,
We dream of who we used to see
what made them laugh, what made them smile, and just what made them be.

We cry because we long to be with them and we no longer care the side.
It could be ours with the living, or with them and those who've died.

Sometimes we hear their voice, we think they call our name
but we have to remember it's just our minds playing games.

And now that it's all over and death has closed the door,
we have to live our lives knowing we can't hold them anymore.

I wish I was good at music
so I could express myself in song.

I wish I was good with words
so my voice could be heard.

I wish I was good with paints
so each brush stroke would scream my name.
I wish I was good at any kind of art
so you could tell me apart.

Apart from the masses all trying to be the same.

I wish I could tell you I'm different. I wish I knew how to play the game.
So that one day, just maybe, people would remember my name.

Wasn't it yesterday that I call this place home and you my family?
Wasn't it not long ago you were there for me and I you?
What happened?
What changed?
I've been replaced?
No, I was never missed.

You twist all my words and give them different meanings
There are nights when I am alone and my heart is quietly  screaming.
The pain of my past is taking its toll
Casting me in a new and different role.
I once was young,  wild and  free.
Now I'm afraid to step outside my door because you see,
you played with my heart and twisted my words
Until the real me was no longer heard.

Now I sit in the dark silently screaming and praying for death
Counting down the moments until my last breath.
For if I cannot be me then who am I?
A soul left wandering, waiting to fly.

What is the point in speaking, what words can I say
that you wont twist and use for your play?
I'm done being your toy
I'm done sitting on a shelf
I'm jumping down, I'm being myself.
I don't care what you say, you can't hurt me anymore.