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amt Feb 2014
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We all want someone who will kiss our flaws away,
And fix us,
But that doesn't exist,
Because how could someone love you,
When you can't even love yourself?
10
amt Feb 2013
10
'Love is dead,' she said.
As she closed her eyes,
She counted ten.
amt Jan 2013
And oh,
What a mess we have made,
My dear.
amt Feb 2013
Questioning your motives.
Dying to get rid of me?
It's working.
12
amt Mar 2013
12
And we all just wanna grow up.
And we all just wanna act tough.
Because we think that if we grow,
Our problems will soon go,
But little did we know,
Little did we know.
That whole stage of being 12 and 13 is kind of a blur to me...
amt Dec 2012
It's awful,
What happened....

It was a normal day.
The sky was blue,
The grass was green.
We woke up,
Brushed our teeth,
Went along with our lives.
Little did we know...
Little did they know.

The worst part is,
It could've been any of us.
amt Feb 2013
One hundred and thirty one days.
Feels so long,
But short compared to how long I've waited...
131 days until I see you for real.
15
amt Dec 2013
15
I've kissed him in a thousand dreams
And missed him for eight hundred weeks
Stayed up when I should be asleep
Wondering if he thinks of me
I know I shouldn't care this much
But I can't seem to shake this crush
I'm upside down and out of touch
He'll never notice, never does.
amt Jan 2013
159 days from now,
I will be the happiest ******* the planet.

One hundred and fifty nine.

I've been counting for over a year and
I
Can't
Wait!
amt Mar 2013
And we're just 4 friends,
Running around like a bunch of 10 year olds,
Growing up in the 90s.
amt Dec 2012
To all the times I spent alone.
All the times I made the same mistakes repeatedly.
All the times I wasted being unhappy.
All the times I spent being heartbroken over some guy I won't even remember 20 years from now.

20 years from now.
It's been awhile since I've thought about that...

In 20 years....
Well, I'd be older for one thing...
Maybe living my dream...
Maybe failed trying...

20 years from now,
I don't know who I'll be,
Where I'll be,
Or what I'll be.

But that's okay.
Because today,
I am happy.

If we spend all of our time thinking about the future, we'd become oblivious to the now.

We have the choice to live or to exsist.

This passed year,
I exsisted.
I didn't do anything too special,
And I wasn't particularly happy either.

In 2013 and every year to follow,
I'm promise to live,
And 20 years from now,
I hope I kept my promise.

Happy New Years everyone!
amt Feb 2013
2 years ago today.
Doesn't feel like it...
I didn't understand before.

I think that now I do.
<3
amt May 2013
<3
To whoever holds your heart right there.
You hold my world so handle with care.
Slowly coming off of hiatus. It's been a month, reviewing some of my old 2-in-the-morning-thoughts notebook material. Thanks to everyone for sticking with me.
amt Nov 2014
You thought it was a spark,
But it was a conflagration.

You see, some monsters are complex.
Some are nice,
And talented,
And poetic,
And sweet to you,
But they'll erode you to dust.
They'll shatter you like a glass bottle traveling at high speeds towards a cold, hard brick wall.  
They'll treat you like a backup plan,
Like nothing,
And you'll forgive him every ******* time
Because you're so blinded,
Under his spell,
And he's so ******* charming.

But you're not a ******* second choice.
You deserve respect.
You deserve someone who will put you first,
Someone who won't throw you on the back burner.
You're a gem.
You're a catch.
You're important,
And important things are valuable,
And valuable things should be kept close.

There will be other sparks,
Hell, there will be fireworks,
And they won't burn you.
amt Mar 2015
Dearest,
I realized that the most happiness we can experience in this world will not be found solely in another person, but within the places we allow ourselves to go.

If you ever get the chance to fly after the sun sets, take it.
Take it and look up as far as you can, before your nose touches the cold glass window.
The cities and suburbs below will try to compete,
But the sky always comes out on top.

I swear I've never seen so many stars.
amt Apr 2013
And I look forward to the day I will be able to wake up and be whatever I'd like to. When I can be with whoever, whenever, doing whatever we please. I look forward to the day I'll be able to look in the mirror and not worry about what stares back;  to the day where I can chose what I'd like to learn and how I'd like to use it. I simply cannot wait for the day I will wake up and go to sleep feeling happy to be where I am and who I am.
amt Feb 2013
Stone buildings,
Fashion,
Music,
Tea.

I'm on my way.
amt Mar 2013
5 o'clock in the morning,
We're half asleep on the floor.
A conversation that makes no sense,
But to me it might mean more.
amt Feb 2013
Seven billion people in this world,
And we pick the ones we can't have.
amt Apr 2012
Set a goal,
Try to achieve it.
Work real hard,
To succeed it.
Until you get it,
Don’t be done.
Pick a point,
And just run.
amt Jan 2014
I learned a lot from him at three in the morning, but the most important lesson was that
"You gotta get through it."
It's gonna ****,
But it's not forever.
You might hate it,
But "you gotta get through it."
The more you fight it,
The longer it'll feel,
So just go with it for a while.

When you get out,
Put it behind you

don't look back

"And that's when your life truely begins."
99
amt Mar 2013
99
He's 99 days away.
2397 hours.
So close.
amt Sep 2012
We all tried to say he was bad.
We all thought he was mad.
We were wrong,
And I'm finally accepting that.

I've always felt this way,
But never wanted to say.
But I like how I feel when I'm with him,
And I'm finally accepting that.
amt Oct 2013
Every step he took,
Was with a careful kind of grace.
His lips were soft and warm,
And never would anything pass through them,
Other than words of kindness.
I miss him,
And his accidental beauty.
amt Oct 2012
A flower.
Opening up,
Seeing the sunlight.
For the first time.

Though it will not see the next spring,
It does its job,
And it does it well.

It's petals are frail,
But beautiful.
It can be broken,
But it's strong.

And as it's life nears the end,
It will slowly,
Gently,
Gracefully,
Crumble.
Until it is no more.

Next spring, another flower will repeat the process.
Like a horse,
Running in circles.

Year after year,
Month after month.
Retrieving sunlight,
Letting out beauty,
Wilting,
And crumbling to the ground.

A flower.
Opening up,
Seeing the sunlight.
For the first time.
amt Jul 2014
I used to look into your eyes and see galaxies.
And I'd chase you to the end of the universe,
Running laps around the solar system just to get your attention.
But now all I see are eyes.

You used to look at me like I was a goddess and I'd simply stare back in awe because I'd never experienced anything so rich with emotion,
Such deep and fiery breaths of passion embedded within our every inhale.

But instead, we'll close our eyes and let sleep blanket our never-still thoughts, for it's completely irrational and I'm tired of running.
amt Jun 2012
I'm all done.
So why aren't I glad?
No more work.
Why am I sad?
I'm not gonna miss it,
That I can guarantee,
And I turned in my hardest...
So what's wrong with me?
amt Jan 2013
I just want to be good enough at something or good enough for someone.

That's all.
amt Apr 2012
Give me a minute,
To cry out my tears,
Give me a second to think.

Give me a minute,
To overcome fears,
Give me a second to blink.

Give me some time,
To think it through,
Who do I want,
To be to you?

Give me a second to prioritize,
Give me a minute to close my eyes.
amt Mar 2012
I know we’d just met,
I know I shouldn’t have trusted you.
But I did.
And I let myself fall...
All over again.

I know we’d just met,
I know I shouldn’t have believed you,
But I did.
And you never showed up...
And I fell.
All over again.
amt Feb 2012
I know life isn’t fair.
I know life isn’t forgiving.
But why was it both,
To you?

You were wrong,
But I got burned.
You got her.
I got forgotten.

I know life isn’t fair.
I know life isn’t forgiving,
But I want,
I hope,
I dream,
I pray,
For a chance to hit replay.
I want to start over,
So I can fully appreciate
All that I had.
amt Mar 2013
She's clueless.
Clueless and empty.
I know it,
She knows it,
We all know it.


*Why doesn't he?
amt Dec 2012
I'm not lonely when I'm alone.
And sometimes I find more comfort in myself than others.
Sometimes I like to put my head phones on and sit and think.
Sometimes I sit in my room all by myself and write for hours and hours and hours.
Sometimes everything anyone does has the capacity to bother me.
Sometimes I like being alone.
amt Mar 2014
Deep fog sets over the craggy mountain.
I watch from Anacapri.
The smell of lemon fills the surrounding
And alas,
I am at peace.
Currently writing in Italy, inspired by the lovely town of Anacapri.
And
amt Mar 2013
And
He's out there,
And he's amazing.

And she sat in her bedroom,
And thought about him,
And wrote this poem.
amt Mar 2012
News flash!
Did you forget who you are?
Where you are?
Who you’re with?
What you’re doing?
To the future?
To your reputation?
Well I think you should remember,
Before you throw your life in the toilet,
And flush.
amt Jan 2013
And now she's home.
Sure,
I missed her...
But now he won't be talking to me any time soon...
amt Sep 2012
I'm still me,
But now I'm improved.
I'm still be,
The girl you always knew.
But now I'm better.
I'm nicer.
I'm less judgmental.
I am forgiving,
And I apologize.
I'm sorry for wronging you in the past.
But I've finally turned the page,
At last.
I'll forgive you,
For whatever you've done.
Because tomorrow it will still,
Be a rising sun.
I've grown up a little more,
I'm ready to see,
What this world has in store.
amt Feb 2013
Another explanation that doesn't quite make sense.
Another accusation, to consume my confidence.
Another way for you to tell me to just go away.
Another sigh,
Another cry,
Another normal day.
amt Jun 2012
Why are my dreams unreachable?
And everything to learn's unteachable?
What I want I can't get,
And I can't even try yet!
You always tell me to organize my time,
But number one on your list,
Is different than mine.
"What happens to a dream deferred,
does it dry up like a raisin in the sun?"
Yes I think,
If that means the dream is done.
amt Dec 2012
If only everyone would say how they felt...
The world would be a lot better...
Or a lot worse!
amt Oct 2012
Self doubt,
Bottled up feelings,
Uncertainty.
What to do next?
Where to go now?
How?
But it's not a question,
It's the answer.
Do something.
Go somewhere.
There is a way,
There is always a way.
There is an answers,
There is always an answer.
And sometimes,
The answer is not knowing.
...ranting...
amt Dec 2012
Never close your eyes,

Never turn your back,

On what matters the most.



Who cares what you wore,

Or what she thought about your shoes.

You've got something.

Everyone's got something.


I ask one thing of you.

You're talented.

*Don't waste it.
amt Nov 2013
this is for the times that I miserably failed at flirting
and ended up awkwardly stating something ****** and irrelevant

sorry that I wasted your time.
sorry that I wasted mine.
amt Mar 2014
Are you hiding in the beech trees?
Are you blowing in the wind?
Are you my lazy summers,
Before the fall begins?

Are we just a setting sunrise?
Are we just a waning moon?
I can count the stars in your eyes.
And I can see them fade so soon.
amt Mar 2013
I always like to think that having a boyfriend would make my life better. That all of a sudden, there would be someone to help me through the tough parts of my life...
But in reality, it'd be so much worse because I don't have time for myself, let alone someone else.
amt Nov 2012
It's a shame.
I pity you.
I feel bad that you think you must do that.
So go on,
**** in your cheeks and show off the dimples you don't have. Stick your chest out, hide the chalkboard that is really there. And let every boy in town write on it.
As you seek the attention that you thrive on,
We'll be watching,
Waiting.
amt Dec 2012
Do you ever wonder if the stars shine out for you?
Float down
Like autumn leaves
Hush now
Close your eyes before the sleep
And you're miles away
And yesterday you were here with me

Another tear
Another cry
Another place for us to die
It's not complicated
Autumn Leaves by Ed Sheeran. Such a beautiful song, thought I'd share the lyrics.
amt Jan 2013
We stayed up later than late,
Talk about what we hate.
Dancing in the parking lot where there was no music on.
That time that we almost kissed.
And I regret that I missed.
How we used to be friends and now we don’t talk.
And I’m sorry,
That I’m so awkward…
Combination of different 'relationships' that went horribly, *horribly, wrong... At least I can look back and laugh at them!
amt Mar 2013
I get it.
You're upset and just want someone to talk to.
I'll be that person,
But don't mistake me for a backup plan.
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