What does it mean to be beautiful,
  To be alone in the most beautiful way
  To sink into the solitude with such grace
  A candle flame flickers that way
  Speechless a burning orange fire
Restless to become one with the darkness around.
Clothes wet and washed down the rocks
Lost somewhere in the running black water
What does it mean to be beauty itself,
  To be naked like the night
  Lost and meditating in desire
  Craving quietly for his holy touch
Tell me what it means
to be beauty itself,
  to be naked like the night
  and still get him to stare
  at only the moon that you hold in your eyes.

I remember he had the dreamiest eyes I could think of
They were as deep as that sultry voice of his
Well, a charming shade of brown
Ebony, to be more specific.
When he was out in the sunshine, I still remember how they used to glisten and sparkle
Overflowing with wetness which looked like warm liquid gold
Like an ocean of nostalgic summer waves, his eyes hid something.
So much. Another world, perhaps.
Whenever I tried to get to the core of his mysterious beauty, those lips used to curve into a smile gently .. slowly
Without notice, like how the sun rises up from under the horizon
******* out all the strength it took me to not touch him.
He was the Prince Charming on drugs, I'd say
A drunken Romeo at night with ripped off clothes
The love of his dreams is a crazy fantasy, he says
And he always messed up his fantasies so fine.
I would never forget how he asked me to stay away
How artistically he put it all together, trying not to hurt me
He used to say "love is unhealthy for me.."
How delicate and effortless he made it sound
Maybe he knew that anyone who looked deeper into his eyes,
beyond that beautiful brown, would fall for him.
And fortunately or unfortunately, I *did.

I could just sit here wounded,
do nothing but stare at all your colours
closing my eyes, tracing your face
with cold palms, I could just be
How ever you want me to, I can be
Without wanting anything back,
without taking anything but your blood
into my veins,
And it's okay my love, let the door be
Let the rain pour
We have this night and you have all of me.

Would you like to rest in my celestial garden
All day, all night, would you?
That place knows neither regret nor pardon
How could you breathe all this while, could you?
Come with me, I'll introduce you to freedom
I have a feeling you'll love the taste of it
Just like the world of your midnight dreams
Your soul my passion would carefully lit.
Welcome to my celestial garden
See how marvelous a humming bird is?
Worry not about who else will follow
Just friendly demons of desire, you will permit.

You smile like you do not want to be hurt
you are afraid of not being responsible
to the children
who you pretend to garner
and guide, knowingly,
pretentiously into a world
you have woven
with such subtle doubt

You cry yourself to bed
after you put your only daughter to sleep
and look into the black night ahead
with silver moons under your eyes
tired and dreaming of love

You watch a film and smile a sober smile
then walk slowly to clean up after
dinner
and stare a stolen gaze
like your eyes are not yours and your
reflection isn't yours to stare
at the glass to the right of your misery, somewhere
numb to your touch
and comprehending

the arrested state of your being
your soul,
somewhere up in the september clouds
just above your home sweet home

Cry when you want to
But never hurt yourself
Lie when you need to
But never to yourself.
Get high when you want to
But remember where you came from
Deny when you need to
But not to a better self.
Smile when you want to
You rule your kingdom yourself
Care for them when you need to
But never at the cost of your own self.
Love people when you want to
But never forget to love yourself
Soar in love when you need to
But never expect it back for yourself.

When your heart beats against mine, don't look away.
When I drown you into unimaginable depths, I hear the violin wailing,
through the radiant blue waters of this ocean.
The waters ache at night,
And the moonlight heals.
Give to me the sorrow. Cast on me your spell.
It hurts, and you won't stop.

Please don't stop.

Please, I beg you
Tell me what I need to do
To be able to own you
Please, tell me where to find you.
Every second, I devote to you
You are my ability
You are the truth behind my smile
You lie between the words of my poetry
You are the lyrics to my songs.
Please, I beg you
To strengthen this hope I have on you
I know we are impossible
But you were the one who got me to fall for you.
Is it my fault that I hear your voice
Singing to me those goodnight lullabies?
You are the reason I am this strong
Hiding behind my eyes are pictures of you.
Please, I beg you
Please remember this human you created
I know we are to part in a year or two
Or shall I love you all over from the start?
That is okay, Love
I will always love you
You will always be right by me
You will always be the 'you' that my poems accrue.

When death shall knock at my door
I would be an antique evidence of the past
When this world shall bear me no more
I would haunt the crimson sky so vast.
Alive, then, I truly would be
Resting deep in the blackness of thought,
They ask, Is she alive or not?
I did say no, but they had to make it hard.
At my grave, you stand low and think
You make no sound, you do not blink
It rains and thunders, you do not leave
Crying over the dreams that we used to weave.
You search for my body as it sleeps
And now, my awaken soul sees the truth
Honey, please for me, do not weep
Even as I lie down, my promises I keep.

Holding a lantern, walking myself out the dark
I found life in the very depths of darkness
Consuming that darkness into me
I feed my burning soul, I satisfy her heart
I see that this soul of mine
Knows everything my mind would dream of knowing
And yet, it sits back and watches me fight
Like a warrior, this material desire
In a world which is wonderful and deadly
Shining like the bright evening star on black
Generous, cruel; Stupid love, blind faith
To tell you, beautifully confusing.
Kindling within me, she screams at me
For every thing I do, confusing me
Now I know not the difference between ugly and beautiful
Pain and pleasure, they have made me numb
And I am just a bud,
Just a bud somewhere on an undiscovered species.
Fighting my own shadows,
Letting myself drown, fall, in love and cry
What do I know now?
Nothing, yet everything
I know everything yet how young I am
So, I know nothing; That young I am
In a world so beautiful, I tell myself
Not to fall in love with souls which cannot give to me
Behind my smile, I am dying
How beautiful you are, how beautiful all this is
Is this a blessing? What kind of a curse is this?
Please, I am tired of falling in love
Fighting back my tears like a lifeless weapon
I tell my soul that my heart is not numb
Do not play with it
I scream "Leave me alone"
How beautiful you are, how beautiful all this is
Is this a blessing? What kind of a curse is this?
Please, I am tired of falling in love.
What do I do with all this inside me?
I cast it upon myself
What would I do with this undying loyalty and hope?
I bless myself with all I have
Do not play with it
I scream "Leave me alone"
How beautiful you are, how beautiful all this is
Is this a blessing? What kind of a curse is this?
Please, I am tired of falling in love.
So, this soul insists that I move on
With a heavy heart, She tells me I am worth
With a smile on my face, I am weeping inside
But this soul inside me insists that I move on
I have a million more galaxies waiting to be explored
No time to waste
No time to sit and cry
I have a million more galaxies waiting to be explored
So with an immortal hope that you would turn,
And accept to take what within me does burn
I hold a lantern, walk myself out the dark
Finding life in the very depths of darkness
Consuming that darkness into me
I feed my burning soul, I satisfy her only heart.

I ask myself this
For yet another time
Why I always lie
Towards the extreme.
I know they say
Too much of anything
Can make one sick
And me, I was never
Less than too much.
In me, I store love
Too much, once again
As unconditional as oxygen
As Logicless as miracle,
As huge as the massive sky
And to any ordinary man,
Anywhere among mankind
That amount of anything kills.

to the stars

forgive me for falling back into the black
but I am looking up at you and asking you to come back into me
tear open my flesh and let me rise up
like ether into your ambient neighbourhood

make me forget
**** me and once more I shall be born
and this time I will remain beautiful

and at peace

It feels like I am walking on frozen water
With my head swung back, gracefully sliding across the ice
Smiling with my eyes closed, delicate snowflakes disappearing into my skin
All my feelings freeze, they swim through the tides of silence
Yes, I feel worthy of all of this
I deserve to own the key to the heavens
Lying down on this thick sheet of iced blue, I let the cold consume me
What a crazy dream, what a marvel, what insanity is this?
Every word I whisper shouts back at me
Echoing as if the world's a deep deep cave..

.. And everything I touch turns to undisturbed peace
Like just ice and seagulls
Just silence and peace
Yet, so so much more than what they seem to be.

Why don't you rid yourself of these shiny
achievements
and sit back without ignoring for once
the blue light you bleed upon the sun

Why don't you want to be more of nothing
and less of you?

It cannot be silenced
this throbbing hunger, as it burns mildly
a yellow flame against the silhouettes of now

They know what this madness is
this hunger that I talk of, this fire that keeps bustling
the stars are watching me
as I look back up
and they know

I lay in my bed in a room echoing with the sound of your voice, wet and blue like a september evening.

you pull me close
delicately
you're making me cry my eyes say to you
a warm hug, eyes
flutter close

the scent of purity fills us
inside the blanket two hearts beat
stars gaze out of your eyes
and I begin to kiss you

you lift me in your arms
making me feel like I am a
fragile little rose.


hurt me

I need to feel your presence
find a way somehow
through a flame
or a hole
or a spirit
somehow

give me a sign
I'm fuming
this scream refuses
to leave my throat
my eyes turn pale
with your absence

I circumambulate
your sacred fire
but the demons desecrate it

swallow the sky
in a fury only you can summon

clear the grounds

I'll be born again
like a breakthrough

and out of all the things I chose to remember
I remember
   the way she tries not to smile
when my eyes flutter close as I breathe the smell of
her body and
  how she writhes faultlessly like
the sun upon seawater
with subtlety her voice it blooms
inside my chest
still


Her lips stayed quiet most of the time.

She reminded me of mellow white flowers I remember
how I wanted to stay by her feet when I felt low
   her toes, pearls of deep blue waters I thought I remember
shone within her black eyes forever aglow.

learning to find love in
your silence will teach me
everything I need
in order to live.

with love
*amrutha

I fall into river
the water is wet, I'm begging
for it to make me feel
the way we do when we're together

I fall into sky
unafraid I fall, I'm singing
a soft birdsong
with familiar tickles in my tummy
This is nowhere close
to you and me

I fall into silence
at the end of day
stunned in gratitude.

don't be afraid

moon eyed maiden

you're too delicate

for these night shifts you pull off

let's make a

make-believe world

where the beds are all the way up

to the ceiling of stars

just the way you like it



there's no yesterday here

no tomorrow

there's only now

and the tv playing

as you cook

food for the soul



will you remember me then

your friend from another time

like memories of a nice dream

after a song-like sleep



please do

because i love u

and i know u love me

Paradise paved it's way onto Earth. Behind the southern Alps, beneath the flowing Caribbean, beyond the rainbow, over the silver clouds, life is constantly blooming within each water-laden monsoon sapling. Mere things breathe. They are alive and carefree, busy yet not artificial, beautiful and god-made, innocent and all-knowing. Nature heals her lovers. She starts a jungle on mind's wilderness until the observer forgets about foolish social existence. For nature, kindness is not a virtue to be congratulated about. It is her habit. Nature comforts, provides, enlightens and what folks do not realize - nature speaks. Every celebrated invention starts with a single thought. Again, it is about what lies in you. Every journey starts with a single step. It is just a decision away. Every material desire that people today work for has ancestors inside. Within one. Nature shapes your soul into the beauty that she is. What nature offers to teach is divine. She says wisdom. Not intellect. She teaches courage before bravery. She teaches one to admire before criticize. "Seek ye and ye shall find". Nature trains eyes to seek beauty. Seek beauty, hunt for beauty, find beauty and this world would be the most beautiful illusion ever. Watch how nature beautifully combines pleasure and trouble  through disaster. When beauty is within, beauty comes inevitably and effortlessly like magnet draws iron. You will rule your kingdom alone once Nature shows to you her impossible miracles and incredible wonders.
Paradise paved it's way onto Earth, into me. How beautiful the music behind my head sounds, how lucky I am for it never ceases to play the hypnotizing tunes of heavenly activity and earthly buzz, amid noise. When I thought I had no shoulder to cry on, the black black nights sat all along. When no smile felt pure enough, I saw happy faces among the clouds. When the battle in my head overcame the sound of the music my heart played, birds sang sweetly into my ears. When my senses felt dry, it rained cats and dogs. When I had to learn my lesson, nature pretended harsh.
Out of all these layers of rawness around my soul, I peep out, trying to tell you what took me some unbelievable experiences to realize. The solutions to all problems, nature holds. Nature nurtures like a protective mother and provides like a careful father.
Above all, she is the only one in whom I lost myself and discovered the lost me.

When you feel hollow
Like just space without the celestial
Please remember me
My purpose is you.

I am your shadow
You don't see me when it's dark
But when there is light, you realize
That I have always been there.

You don't know how precious you are
You are a beautiful pearl
Hiding in your oyster's shade
Well, I am always on guard.

You make me gasp
At how beautiful you can get
In just seconds you transform
Into a miracle, upside down, reset.

Strengthen your heart and hope
But do cry when you need to
Live the life of your dreams, warrior
I will always know how delicate you are.

I am the Earth beneath your feet
I am the air that you breathe in
I am the twilight that heals you
I am that tiny flickering light of hope.

When you feel unworthy
Like just space without the celestial
Remember what you mean to me
My sole purpose is you.

There once was a girl of fifteen
She fell in love with things no one has seen
Her mind took her to places where no one has been
Her strength was her weakness, her mind was keen.
She was as stubborn as one can ever be
None would change her, neither you nor me
To her wonderland, only she has the key
People called her stray, headstrong, wild as far as they could see,
She seemed insane but her mind gave reason
As to why her heart flew higher every season
Nature and all it offered was her nation
Paradise was in the palms of imagination.
Things would've been different if she wasn't stubborn
Society would be disrupting her inner discovery
Insanity which needed not any permission
I am telling you because that girl is me.

Oh, my dear
When I lay on the bed the way I do
I search for you

Your soul seduces me
   your voice, your unwavering stare
Oh, my dear
   how you make me sigh
   there's so much on your mind but you say nothing

Just sit there
and I shall dance
for you

The skies are looking down at you
The moon is awaiting your gaze
Flowers exist because you do
Please don't look away.

You give to you infinite pleasure
You are your worst enemy
The way you feel lies at your fingertips
Close your eyes, heal.

The skies are looking down at you
The moon is awaiting your gaze
Flowers exist because you do
Please don't look away.