when i become
      squirrel q u e e n
and you become m e...
  (in those woods)
  (under that sun),

i h o p e you
   recognize m e.

i h o p e you listen for
    my steps,

and i h o p e
    you follow me
  w h e r e e v e r
i go.

there are many ideas
and theories about
art appreciation,

and what one needs to know
in order to
appreciate a work of art.

it appears to be true
that art can be appreciated
  without knowing
who, what, where, when,
why -
or how.

it is possible to only
have the raw sensory experience
of a thing -
and then to extrapolate (or
not extrapolate)
any further meaning or purpose,
and to just appreciate
a thing for
its semblance and
beauty.

but what happens
when you do
find out the
who, what, where, when,
why -
and how.

what t h e n?


and so it is the same for people.

i think
i must have thought
there was only
one way.
one path.
one love.

now i know
there is no w a y -
only infinite paths
and infinite love.

in the end,
it just may be
that we are both able
to imagine the same world
                     with the same rules
                          the same love
and so this imagined world
hovers nearby
unwilling or unable
   to be brought
      to fruition.

(primary care THIS, my blood pressure is fine, thanks for asking)

hello, ma’am!
i am here, in your office
that you appear to be advertising as
a place of business, specifically; the business of medicine. for humans. a human doctor, if you will.

i read every word of the brochure
of appalling lies you gave me,
willing to give you ½ my workday,
a copay, and spent an entire
evening printing,
scanning, categorizing and labeling
records that i am AWARE are ELECTRONIC. however, as so many of
your colleagues have suggested,
it’s almost “impossible” to get any information, and it’s my *******
responsibility to be my own *******
secretary since yours ****. and i should know BECAUSE I HAVE DONE THE JOB.
i can see the program you are using
which i am proficient in. i might still have my own logins if someone else didn’t do their job. i’ve been behind the curtain so don’t play these ******* games with ME.
i have done all the things.
i have gone above and beyond
in MY preparedness, since
in this country you are advised
“to be your own advocate”
because you cannot trust one single
******* to do it for you,
even if it’s THEIR LITERAL JOB.

i digress, i am here.
and i am calm.
with hundreds of pages
of reports in hand
categorized in reverse chronological order
and further labeled and divided by
date, provider, and tests.
calmly letting you
lead the conversation since
within the first 3 minutes of
meeting you
looked at me above your
mask with wild eyes
and told me
you “don’t have time.”

i thank you for your brilliant observations,
complete lack of any compassion
and apparent complete disregard for the
health of your patients. thank you for not
looking up my medical history or having
any notes or results even though i gave your office the information when
i made the godforsaken appt,
AND JUST IN CASE
brought PIECES OF ACTUAL PAPER
you refused to look at, read, pretend to read, scan or save even though i told you
you literally could keep it
because i wasn’t born yesterday
and have a ******* copy.

i don’t have time for YOU,
*****. thanks for nothing
and i hope you sleep
******* great tonight.