Hovering,
grey slow mist,
I hover slowly remembering each word
that was plucked from your mouth the night the
clouds came.

These words,
stolen from my heart.
Mind, makes decisions
followed by regret.
I watch you walk away,
as I’ve done so many times before.

My thoughts linger
watching you become nothing
but a memory made by
silver linings, and golden dreams.
I fear that even if I speak you won’t hear me,
tangled in poison ivy thorns,
I’ve lost you again.

Wounds open, again.
I take a moment
to reject this pain.
Fading as I drift away.
Breathe deep, a weight is lifted.
It hurts though, I’m half
of the whole that we were.

Here I am,
Caught between the shutter of
Memory, I hear a blue jay
Flapping its cobalt wings.
Clicking at me like your warnings
Of how you'd leave if I
Didn't love you the right way.
If I would only begin to want you
Out of the memories,
Out of right now, and into
The future.

The signs were there,
foreshadowed by cold,
distant mornings, crippled
by your escaped gaze.
Chilling my spine, your thoughts,
and desires left me,
in a state of hallowed truth.
Your beauty held back by
selfishness, my jealousy
poisoning your innocent
smile.

The blood in your veins
haunts me,
I don't know how to turn you away.

Inky comfort
I get lost in your eyes,
Worried there will come a day

When I will not be able to
walk out in time.
Haunted.

You become fantasy,
Following me through the
Raindrops that trickle into my dreams.

Your softer than you seem.
As I roll over in bed, and awaken
To empty sheets,

Infinitely torn between wanting you,
And pushing you aside,
I put out my cigarette in the ashtray,

Before I
Smolder,
Into nothing.

Come on skinny love just last the year
Pour a little salt we were never here
My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my
Staring at the sink of blood and crushed veneer

I tell my love to wreck it all
Cut out all the ropes and let me fall
My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my
Right in the moment this order’s tall

I told you to be patient
I told you to be fine
I told you to be balanced
I told you to be kind
In the morning I’ll be with you
But it will be a different “kind”
I’ll be holding all the tickets
And you’ll be owning all the fines

Come on skinny love what happened here
Suckle on the hope in lite brassiere
My, my, my, my, my, my, my, my
Sullen load is full; so slow on the split

I told you to be patient
I told you to be fine
I told you to be balanced
I told you to be kind
Now all your love is wasted?
Then who the hell was I?
Now I’m breaking at the britches
And at the end of all your lines

Who will love you?
Who will fight?
Who will fall far behind?

I know what you look like when you sleep
curls tucked behind your thick ear lobes.

I mouth a lullaby to myself,
never once making a sound.

I see your eye lids flutter
Are you dreaming?

The sheets will imprint your smell,
the way you curl your knuckles to your chest.

I want to put your hand against me,
Your deep breathing seems comfortable.

When did you know you loved me?
I am your best kept secret.

We’re sailing on a cloud of
Fog, dense grey
A sleek bullet speeding

His town has four stop lights,
And school closings due to fog
In the late spring.

In the mornings when we wake
Tangled up, drool stains on the edges of
His smile, I hear the dog next door bark,

And watch the sun slowly pierce
Through the thickness of the sky.
His big hands, full of sleep find my eyes,

And slowly graze my eyelashes,
The sun slowly hums in morning groans into
Each of my pores.

Even in the heat of summer, we drive with the wind
Whipping around us,
So loud that even our voices cannot break through.

I am welcomed by a woman in the garden,
Mascara running down her eye and staining her dress of silk

She invites me in too early,
And asks me to only stay briefly

I can’t remember anything but irises blooming in her eyes
Plucking the whole heads off of white petal, yellow eye daisies

If I close my eyes I can hear the train whistle radiating through my nerves
The whipping of my ceiling fan above my head

The click of the front door locking
Mile markers painted by poppy pollen

Take me home when the poppies bloom
And the prickliness of their stems is soft

Red brick matching the stain of pollen
I long for her all year round

Rust matches the color of popsicles in the summer.
Staining my tongue dark,
I get lost in the stain glass reflections of sun beams dancing across
My bed sheets.
Winter, a dingy moth, a jealous creature.
I long for eternal sun.
Why did I only love you in the summer?

I am nostalgic for a time when all I needed was to dream.
I call upon the wretched and joyful,
Angels with torn and battered wings.

I am nostalgic for the sun room in your house,
With the big grey couches that swallowed us whole.
I am reminded of how much of a shared passion between two is a game.
You taking, and me giving, you walking away.  

I am an ode to Merlot sunrises,
When it is early enough I catch the moon kissing the sun.
I swim underground between tree roots looking for
The reasons you need.
Oak, Birch, Maple.
I try to summon the words to prove to you that I can only
Hold my breath so long.

Catch me.
I am falling into pine cone traps and thistle memories.
I am reminded of mornings when I walked home four,
Twilight hours are filled with ghosts of us.

I am burning from the inside out.
Bonfire love, you are a dangerous spectacle.
I walk over your bed and tickle you into blue embers.