My muscles do not pull my bones
You do, your fist clenched around my arm
Your mouth curved into a grimace
I will forever fall asleep to "come here *****"

My nerves do not feel my touch
All they feel
Is the dirt under your fingers
While you touch my freckle
Ignoring my obvious discomfort
And ask me if I have a boyfriend

My skin crawls without my approval
When you call me a beautiful lady
And ask what you can do for me
Or whether my boyfriend is willing to share

My eyes don't look at faces anymore
They stare at the gound
Because I am afraid
Afraid that you'll walk over and sit down
Next to me in a cafe and refuse to leave
Afraid that you'll follow me the five blocks
Home to my apartment
Afraid you'll slide into the seat next to mine on the bus
And run your hand up my thigh
Like you did to one of my friends.
Afraid you'll slip ambien into my drink
While I dance at your party.
And so I look down and watch and wait and
Listen for you in everything I do and I can confidently say

My body is not mine anymore.

I tried to take a picture
Of everyday I was with you
I tried to take a picture
Of all the happiness you bring

I tried to take a picture
Of the flowers that you sent
The ones that were red
With that very strong scent

I tried to take a picture
Of the day that shined so bright
The way the sun radiated yellow
Giving us its light

I tried to take a picture
Of the nights by the lake
Where we sat in the blackened dark
Smoking getting baked

I tried to take a picture
Of the smile on my face
But I turned the camera around
To hide the clear but staining tears that raced

I tried to take a picture
Of the love around me,dear
But an uncompromising flash burnout
Causes me fear

I tried to take a picture
Of the happiness you bring
But what I captured
Was the truth and its sting