A little blood, and then nothing.
Waited. But there were no cramps, no sweats.
No shrimp-like cell cluster.

She recalled the dates of this downfall: Of a
**** no law’d recognise.
Bus drivers’ strike.
Consultation with a grumpy-old-doctor-man.

"... you’re probably too late. Try an
Aspirin between your knees next time…”

This is how she told her love to me. Measured
against in-spite-of, not by because.

They say to live free
I should be myself,
But when I do so,
Some friends judge
while others stay away.

But the truth is,
I don't need to understand
Why you don't understand,
The way I think,
The choices I make,
The things I treasure
And the love I take.

I really want to live free
And speak my mind,
I want to live free
And make my stand,
Though not everyone
Agrees by my choices.
Coz you see,

I don't need to understand
Why you don't understand
Instead,
I just need to understand me.
The values I hold,
The morals I protect,
The faith that I keep
And the hope that I embrace.

I don't need to understand
Why you don't understand
I just need to understand ME.

I have nothing left.
I never truly got past
How I felt,
My feelings for you.

My eyes so bright,
Excited by the light
At the sight
Of the one, of you.

I'm ok, I'm alright.
I know I'm not.
I hate you in the moment.
I still love you.

I live a lie.
I tell you a lie.
I'm done with you.
You are out of my life.

Yet seeing you again
Tells me I'm done.
The knife to my diaphragm.
I'm not over you.

So what do I do?
I ignore you as best I can.
I don't look at you
So you can't read my eyes,
So you can read my lies.

I have nothing for you.
You've moved on in ways I've proved
That I am well and truly incapable of.

My body aches and my body hurts
With the sorrow that I cover
To never let you see
The wounds I carry deep inside of me.

Back on our last day
You drove a shard deep in my core,
A fragment that I never could remove.
I can't let you see
That you still control me.

I'm lost.
My mind is gone.
Theres nothing here for me.
I am nothing to you.

I hate you.
So infinitely with everything that is me.
And I love you.
Uncontrollably, devastatingly.
I never want to be happy.
There's nothing left to believe.

Please, just go away.
I want it no more.
Please, leave me be.
You've paid me back and more,
I am ravaged to the core.
There's nothing left of me.
You've left nothing to me.

I burn brightly in the silence
Of the fires of my own making.

It's like I realized that way down inside, I've always been lonely for something.
But, I don't know what for.
It's like everybody in the world wants something.
Only they never really know exactly what it is - they just keep finding out what it's not.
You know how, when you turn the TV off or you come out of some concert, and everything feels empty?
Like you thought that it'd be what you wanted then wasn't?

Dear Lord, I am here on my knees, crying,
For I have strayed and my faith is dying;
Holy Shepard, guide me back to God's route;
Make me pure and cleanse me as I cry out:
           Come, Lord Jesus, Come!

Lord, I undress my sinful soul to you;
I bare it all, everything's in your view;
And I feel your merciful eyes on me,
I get closer to you and say with glee:
           Come, Lord Jesus, Come!

Dear Lord, I can feel your holy presence;
In your embrace, I can taste your essense;
I can feel your passion, your fire, your heat;
And on this night I joyfully repeat:
           Come, Lord Jesus, Come!

Lord, I worship your body and kiss your feet;
Our hearts come together and share one beat;
You opened me and entered me with love,
And to this blessed act I shout up above:
           Come, Lord Jesus, Come!

Dear Lord, you cleanse me and ****** out my sin!
You penetrate my soul and place God in!
You reach to the darkest regions of me,
And instill the comfort of Christianity:
           Come, Lord Jesus, Come!

Lord, you erase all my mistakes and woes;
I can feel your power from my head to toes;
Like a white horse, you are pure and perfect;
As you work your miracle, I loudly inject:
           Come, Lord Jesus, Come!

Dear Lord, you release me from damnation,
And pour on me your holy salvation,
And I am again innocent and gay;
And as you depart, I thank you and say:
           Come, Lord Jesus, Come!

underneath the blue ocean,
deep in god's eternal gaze,
inside a woman's emotion,
wandering the evergreen maze,

between a bird's beak and feather,
behind the ancient cellar door,
through seams of velvet and leather,
swimming the seas of salvador,

in the taste of honey sweet,
across the valleys of a face,
on the bottom of a lady's feet,
dancing on the clouds with grace,

beautiful worlds in beautiful words,
my true heart's pleasure,
beautiful worlds in beautiful words,
my true mind's treasure.

Life goes on. Lesson learned.
Patience is the key. Yet again, it gets the best of me.
I had you. I loved you.
Then I forced you away.
I should have held you close, kept you tight.
Instead, I tried to rush you through,
And let you out into the night.
It happened so fast, this reversal.
I'm still unsure what happened.
I lost you before I ever had you. Im still reeling.
Lesson learned. Life goes on.
I loved you. I live knowing
What I did to you,
And what you still do to me.