Letting this hurt will be my method of coping.
When you take my heart, please put it in your mouth and devour it.
Don't leave me silently.
Slam doors,
Break glass,
Leave bruises,
Yell until Hell hears you.
If you're going to rip me open, sharpen your teeth first and
make sure I'm wide awake.
Run at me full speed with a loaded gun and every intention of pulling the trigger.
Leave me with scars and an unquenchable emptiness that I'll notice for months.
And when you kiss me goodbye,
spit gas down my throat.
And before you walk out, don't forget to toss me the burning match.
If you don't love me so it hurts, you might as well leave me so it does.

I think my first mistake was acknowledging the part of me that found your lips the sweetest that I'd ever had.
Maybe from there it all went downhill because after that I started to feel the edges of my heart charing every time I heard your name on someone else's mouth.
I suppressed the hurt,
I thought I'd surpassed this,
But I think I just buried it because
I thought you'd be worth it in the long run.
Because I thought our love was our own,
Because I thought we were magic.
I didn't realize that magic was fast hands and optical allusions until after you'd made yourself disappear.

This might be hard to take
but it's even harder to say, okay
I swear to god that to this day,
my heart still beats a little faster at the thought of your name
and maybe i've lost it and maybe I'm completely insane
but my chest is full of dark blue butterflies,
and when you smile they all ignite
into little blue flames,
like beacons in the night inside my chest.
When you're here my soul smiles bright,
it's like you're my human sized night light
but for my mind, and
when the thoughts get a little too intertwined
you're there to untangle them,
untangle the hem that's unraveling the edges of my mind like my favourite sweater,
and you put me back together.
I don't know where i'd be if i'd never met your face,
if I never heard your story, 
if we'd never been at the right place, at the right time,
if i'd never organized my thoughts and said hello.

Perhaps to you i was empty.
Maybe for some time i was.
But, i never asked you to pour compliments into me like lemonade and
i never asked you to hold me while i imploded upon myself,
or watch as i wrote silver stories on my skin.
Maybe to you love means killing yourself to keep someone alive,
but i would've preferred dying together instead of living at your expense.

he made my lungs inflate and flutter like butterfly wings,
and my mind ignite like a wild fire,
and my veins pulse like electric currents,
and in the point-two seconds it took for me to realize i couldn't kiss someone who thought i was fragile,
i was already planning out the different ways i would say,

this has to end

because when the first person to ever love me left,
i realized that
i inflate my own lungs,
and i don't need anyone
to be my matches because i have imaginations full of my own,
and i've discovered that caffeine feels much better in my veins and never asks for anything in return.
and maybe i'm overthinking it, but maybe i don't care.
and i don't know lots about myself yet,
i know,
but i know i am not suppose to be delicate,
not ever.

I see him like he's the night sky,
with little galaxies hidden inside his green eyes,
and bright stars embedded under every freckle.
when daylight comes it flashes across his face like a bright smile,
with clouds of deep purple, enigmatic thoughts
i wish i could get lost in.
I've seen curiosity dance in the creases of his lips,
i've touched the laughter that sleeps in the dimples that frame his smile.
To others maybe we're unconventionally pretty,
but i see him as a full ocean when he sees himself as a wave in someone else's.

i feel you
in the valleys of my fingerprints.
i feel you
in the tissues of my lungs.
i feel you
in every wrinkle on my face,
in the back of my mind,
in the atriums of my heart,
in the pit of my stomach.
i feel you everywhere,
all over me.
you own a body, your mind doesn't even call home.
you occupy a heart yours is incapable of loving.
you overwhelm thoughts incapable of thinking about loving anyone except you.
i feel you,
but i haven't touched you in months.