Tonight I am being shamed
For doing no wrong
A healthy act
That I did all on my own
My room was warm so I opened my window
But my blinds were fully drawn
I heard some sounds
While I performed
A stranger had joined to
I guess watch the action
Made there presence known
But with no much reaction
I kept my stride because
Who of us two was in the wrong
Me in my room all by myself
Or the one to creeped up to my window
What a disgrace
but I didn’t stop, I finished my task
Because the one who was outside the window
Didnt know and didn’t ask
But I am fairly certain for the past 10 years
Everytime I Masturbated
There has always been at least one pair
Of eyes and one pair of ears
And I’m just ******* sick and tired
Of trying to live my life
Handicapped by someone outside
Trying to control me with thier
Shameful words
And trying to control me with fear

So I just **** and and finished the job
Because I knew that I wasn’t doing
Anything at all wrong

trapped in a child’s backpack
disguised as a lunch sac
really its a sac of crack
I take a hit
then I’m on the attack
looking for a ***** to smack
or getting first in track
in the 69 meter dash
faster than flash
that’s what happens
when crack and I clash
why every time I see a dumpster
I want to swim in the trash
I find some old ladies to flash
cmon don’t hold back
let me see some saggy **** fast

(chorus)
cause on crack I’m a blast
until I crash
I don’t mean come down
forever my high will last
getting last place in this race
cause my vehicle
which is now a bicycle
its cooler than an icicle
I got too many DWI’s
that must mean driving while Ill
because I’m the illest
that doesn’t mean I’m sick
well maybe in today’s slang linguistics
enough with the gimmicks
time to go
I’m late for the methadone clinic

these lyrics you will try to mimic
but me my self and the critics
can tell your full of **** kid
my rhymes go for the highest bid
yours go for less than a fat guys skid
marks, underwear found in the park
because someone **** themselves
and then said oh well
when life gives you lemons
then go home commando
and hide your **** dyed
I bet that **** on your legs dried
you hid them in the sandbox
the first kid that found them cried
from that moment on
that kid is now scared for life
and in ten years he will go to class with a knife
and end up doing 20 to life
so the moral to this story is
don’t do drugs and make sure
you keep your ******* tight
or you will **** yourself
and ruin some poor kids life

(chorus)
cause on crack I’m a blast
until I crash
I don’t mean come down
forever my high will last
getting last place in this race
cause my vehicle
which is now a bicycle
its cooler than an icicle
I got too many DWI’s
that must mean driving while Ill
because I’m the illest
that doesn’t mean I’m sick
well maybe in today’s slang linguistics
enough with the gimmicks
time to go
I’m late for the methadone clinic

I master bate 15 times a day
I think that means I’m gay
getting off to videos by drake
I always *** when it transitions to Wayne
isn’t that the worst thing
finishing when transitioning
to a ****** alien so lame
I think I’m going insane
I’m always stuck in my brain
trying to figure out which
backstreet boy I want to impregnate
why does life feel so fake
my mind is about to break
i day dream all day
about drake using a shake weight
just kidding everyone knows I’m straight
just ask my boyfriend
you will see him at my wake
cause tomorrow I’m going to die
I’m taking my own life
because we live in a simulation
and I don’t like this character
so I’m switching my controller
my soul I will register
pay my membership fees
and live my next life much better

(chorus)
cause on crack I’m a blast
until I crash
I don’t mean come down
forever my high will last
getting last place in this race
cause my vehicle
which is now a bicycle
its cooler than an icicle
I got too many DWI’s
that must mean driving while Ill
because I’m the illest
that doesn’t mean I’m sick
well maybe in today’s slang linguistics
enough with the gimmicks
time to go
I’m late for the methadone clinic

I periodically Perpetuate
hurricanes all around me
manifesting my illusions
filled with anomalies
commonly I’m far from Common
as these evil forces
completely surround me
crashing down to rock-bottom
longing to no longer be lonesome
but my loneliness is caused
by my compulsions
such impulsive behavior
needs to get out of me, expulsion
creatively i creep
to seem casual and sane
To a world that’s corrupt
and crippled needing a cane
****** and staring
into the eyes of the truth
but with all this proof
we can’t find who is to blame
to some mentally
my mind it is unglued
broken into bits
from so much abuse
daily I’m terrified of torture
I feel like I’ve got nothing to lose
I’m black and blue
Just one giant bruise
Beaten and brought down to my knees
Reluctant to beg. I scream out please
No more
In my tears I’m drowning
A moment of silence as
You Playfully tease
But the kid with the magnifier
Doesn’t hear the ants screams
Only burns and burns
Until their is nothing left
But the shell of a man
Who’s life is a mess

Is their a heaven
I sure hope so, cause I know their is a hell
It’s called earth
Constant pain, waiting to die
Or are we just waiting for rebirth
I try to maintain
I try to abstain
But my vices have taken
All I have once again gained

I thought she would never leave
Our love was/is so deep
I definitely don’t deserve her
Michelle your like a dream
But now it feels Like a nightmare
Without you I feel so scared
I hate that i had to lose you  
To realize how much I love you
How much I need you
How I don’t want to even breath
If your breath doesn’t breath with mine too
I feel like a ****, and I know I did soo much to hurt you
Honestly I know I 100% don’t deserve you

I just have to try to live my life
Fight my demons one more time
These voices are soo loud  
But my love for you brings silence
And your love for me
Turns all that is dark to light

I hope you can forgive me
I don’t see a future without you
I know the man I can be
I want to treat you like my queen.
I don’t know what else to say
I just have never felt a pain this great
And you know I’m bad at talking
About all those difficult but important things.

Decide what?
To be clean?
To live with this torture?
You obviously know and could do something to help, but I know you won’t
How am I supposed just keep living a normal life as a sheep
Spending all my time and energy for money
A piece of paper that controls us all
Waking up each day to your voice
Always there
ALWAYS THERE
This NEEDS to Stop NOW
you can’t show me what you have shown me and the expect me to just go back to normal

I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU WANT FROM ME

Tell me and I will do it
Anything
To make this stop
ANYTHING
ANYTHING ANYTHING ANYTHING ANYTHING ANYTHING ANYTHING ANYTHING ANYTHING ANYTHING
AT ALL
Just disconnect
Or make all of this make sense

My perception of reality is unclean
Stuck somewhere in between
I hear what you are saying
But you voice within me is not me

I have developed trust issues
Which is huge
I used to hand out trust
Like I had nothing to lose
Until I lost it all
I don’t blame just you
I am largely at fault
I know my choices
Caused this historic fall

I’m almost positive I’m not crazy
Their must be an explanation
Why your voice won’t let me be
I just want to be free
And I want to be clean
I need to know these last 8 years
Wasn’t just the sound of wind in the trees
And the occasional tweak

I’m diagnosed schizophrenic
Caused by drugs and genetics
which logic would have be believe
If it wasn’t for all the coincidences
The control of my internet
And all my electronic devices
I have seen proof
That something powerful
Must be behind of all this

I’m largely held back by not knowing
Plus the constant torture
God you voice is soo annoying

My Messed up mentality
Tells me the drugs makes you more seen
Or it just makes it easier
To trick a tweaked out mental freak

I want to believe that you have my best intentions
I want to be content with having no control
I have always believed the outcome
Of all this pain with be great
I struggle with your torture
All your lies and deceit
Making me believe it’s my time
Just to pummel me to defeat
I don’t understand how you can say you care
And then completely destroy every part and of me

Since I have no control
I’m trying hard to except
That you know what’s best to do next
But my hope is fading
I honestly don’t feel much of any left
So please if you can’t be revealed
Just try something
To help my hope refill