It was always kind of sad.
She had a traveling spirit
Dreaming of adventure
Of far away lands
All the memories
She wished to make
But she could never leave
Maybe one day,
She kept telling herself
But that one day kept getting further away
There were too many distractions
Too many things strapped to her back
Making her body too weighed down
To let even her heart wander

Our world collided
When your lips met mine
The sun shined brightly
The stars aligned

You closed your eyes
But it didn’t last
I barely blinked
It was over fast

Like a head on collision
We spun out of control
You ripped out the breaks
No one told me not to fall

You said you loved me
You don't even know me
There's room in my shoes
I've still got growing to do

I stand in the mirror
Not sure what I should see
I look inside
To try and find me

If you look closely
Take a peak through my soul
You can see
What I might grow up to be

I poke and ****
And push things around
Trying to plant my tree
Without roots in the ground

I'm still a girl
I've got lessons to learn
There's room in my shoes
I still have growing up to do

Our fingers bumped
As we connected miles
Between Florida and Vermont with our hands
On the map above your bed

Our fingers bumped
Like we did  
Connecting and kissing beneath the sheets
The most intimate part of you
Meeting mine

Filling the spaces where I felt
Would always be empty

I know you
How your skin feels
Brushing against mine
I know the curve of your lips
Every knuckle in your spine

I drown in your eyes
Deep shades of brown
I lose myself in those irises
Miss you painfully
When you're not around

We drew an imaginary line
Between states
One at a time

Somewhere in the middle
Your hand caught mine
And I didn't want to let go

Not any place
Or anytime

In March I fell asleep
And dreamt of a ribcage
Like the branches of trees
When I was 16
I counted calories
Like a clerk at the bank

A week later I lost 5 lbs
And you told me i was beautiful
But I knew it was a lie
When I lost 10 lbs
My mom told me I looked good

In April I daydreamed of bones
And ate carrot sticks for dinner
When I lost 20 lbs
And fell asleep on your couch
You held me together in your arms
When I lost 25 lbs
My mom said I looked tired

In May I had a nightmare
About birds stuck in a cage
I woke up with sore ribs
Pictures of models
Lined my bedroom walls
But I didn't stay long

In June I moved to another bed
A different room
My ribcage extended like branches
But the birds stopped singing

You came to visit me
But were afraid to hold my hand
You thought my bones would break
My mom stopped telling me how I looked
She just dabbed her eyes

That night I dreamt about floating
In a river so wide
There were no branches
To remind me of bones
You cried and told me not to go
My mom begged me to stay
But the light was so bright
I couldn't look away

The walls harbor my secrets
Pink wall paper
Tucks them away as I sleep
Ballerinas dance in my head
I want to be like them
Graceful, thin, light
My secret scrapes at a dinner plate
Longing for more
But begging for less
I want to be her
The girl in my dreams
Who has perfect pirouettes
But when I wake
My knees meet
Bathroom tiles
Bile spills into
A porcelain bowl
I'm not a ballerina  
I'm a bulimic