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Nov 2017 · 394
pain is him
AJ Bactol Nov 2017
pain is
being able to plan the future with him
— someone who will never love you

pain is
being able to see everything to him good
— someone who’s so good at hurting you

pain is
being able to be patient to him
— someone who loved someone else

pain is
being able to wait for his return
— someone who would never come back
AJ Bactol Nov 2017
I am a happy person. I’m full of love and happiness. I welcome mornings with a smile and will to be alive. But that time came, the time when it’s so hard to get up in the morning. The time when it’s so hard to eat; to talk; and even to breathe. The time when I thought giving up is the only solution to all of this. The time when sadness, anger, confusion, and hopelessness ate me alive.

I personally didn’t think I can make it, but you did.

For the friend who stood by me when I can’t even stand on my own; who stood by me through the disaster; who never left me; who never let go of my hand, telling me that everything will be okay and this disaster will fade and will turn into rainbows and ponies.

For the friend who never judged me because of who I am and what I am going through; who accepted my flaws; who helped me embrace my own; who endured the times when my heart and mind ached, grieved, and tortured, and believed in me, that I can be healed and recovered.

For the friend who, when everything was falling apart for me, gave me hope; who gave me a place to live and air to breathe; who gave me the strength and will to live; who gave me faith that this world wasn’t a source of vexation and pain and everything will begin to change.

For the friend who never stopped telling me that this will all end - that it will take a while but it will all be worth it; who never gets tired of picking up the broken pieces of myself; who never gets so sick of joining me to sit in the dark and go through my paranoid mind; who never gave up on me, pushing me to make it through the storm eating me alive.

You made me smile when I thought I couldn’t.
You embraced me with love and care.
You spitted out words that made me strong.
You made me believe that I can make it.
You waited for me to heal.
You saw me at my worst yet you never stopped.
You never left.

Thank you.
Sep 2017 · 499
blame
AJ Bactol Sep 2017
blame no one
blame not
for no one did know who
and no one knew what

blame no one
blame not
for no one did care about who
and no one would about what


blame no one
blame not
for no one did understand who
and no one understood what


blame no one
blame not
for no one did listen about who
and no one listened about what


blame no one
blame not
for no one did conclude who
and no one concluded what


blame no one
blame not
for i am who
and i murdered who


and no one knows what
Sep 2017 · 3.0k
distansya
AJ Bactol Sep 2017
Sa distansya umusbong ang lahat
Kung paano nagkrus ang ating mga landas
Na sa dinarami-rami ng tao’y ikaw pa
Sa simpleng pagbati mo nagmula

Sa distansya tumibay ang relasyon
Nagpakatatag sa panahong magkalayo
Kinubli ang hirap ng mga pagbabago
Nanahimik sa likod ng maraming tanong

Sa distansya nagsimula ang problema
Kawalan ng tiwala ang naging ugat
Pag-iisip kung nararapat pa bang ipaglaban
At hawakan ang pangakong unting unting nawawala

At sa ‘di inaasahan, sa distansya rin nagtapos
Tumigil nang maniwala sa “Kaya natin ‘to”
Napagkasunduan at magkasamang nagdesisyon
Napagtantong pag-ibig ay ‘di sapat sa isang relasyon

— The End —