I want to bottle this moment
The moment I knew I had met angels
The curl of your smiles
The twinkle of your eyes
The sound of your laughs
I laid on a bed the color of the clouds
You danced around as you painted your china faces
We talked about what we wanted to be and what we had already done
We flipped our hair to the beat
We sang without the weight of insecurity
That is when I knew
When I knew you were sent to me from God above
When I felt the heat from the vents
Saw the light from your phone
When I flipped my hair and screamed out lyrics
When for the first time in a long time I felt free
I don't know how God knew I needed you
But I did and  now I won't let you go

Why don’t you smile anymore girl
Why don’t your eyes twinkle anymore
Why don’t you laugh and twirl
Everything seems to be a chore

I watched my grandma’s memory turn to stone
She was no longer free
I watched her feel as though she were alone
All I could say was, please don’t forget me

I grew up with her making me laugh
She helped me through it all
She was my other half
And refused to let me fall

She never failed to make me smile
She hugged me whenever I cried
She always went the extra mile
But then she started to forget

She lost her memory and would sometimes cry
She forgot any feeling of glee
I didn’t understand why
All I could say was, please don’t forget me

When she got older and older it got worse
I didn’t know who I should be
It felt like a curse
All I could ask was, please don’t forget me

I told her not to leave until I was ready
She thought I was
But, I don’t know how to remain steady
Death has no clause

Don't call me a ***** because I stood up for myself
Call me a ***** because I am so much more than that
Call me a ***** because I am an unapologetic feminist
Call me a ***** because I am stronger than you will ever be
Call me a ***** because I trusted you
Don't call me immature because you can't take what you dish out
Call me immature because I believed our friendship was real
Call me immature because I thought you cared
Call me immature because I do not let you walk all over me
Call me immature because I want my first kiss to mean something
But please
Do not ever call me your friend again

It is kind of funny
It has been 7 years since I heard the silk of your voice
Since you let me sit on your lap
Since we laughed
I lost you
Then Nana
Now I lost G-Ma
I think I am loosing myself
But every time I start to slip away I think of the oceans you called eyes and keep swimming

I trusted you
I listened to your intricately spun webs of words
I believed that you were just hugging me as I felt the breath leave my lungs
I did not feel the lies tighten around me
I did not realize I was stuck until I was caught in your web
You know I am not upset about the boy
I am upset that I laid down and let you trick me
I am upset that I became your latest victim

When you give a girl a dog you give her a best friend
Her hand becomes forever intertwined with a paw
She will rush home for school and run to hug her best friend
As she gets older she will confide in the dog
She will wait for her dog to be next to her before she starts crying
When she cries she will only feel better when her dog rests their head on hers
She will run to the dog whenever she is scared or sick
She will find comfort in the dog when she panics
Her dog will make everything seem better
When the dog begins to get old she will refuse to believe it
She will not accept that she will lose her best friend
Until you come home and tell her she only has one more day
She will cry and sit with the dog for hours
She will spend all her money on treats for the dog the night before
She will become numb to the world around her when she says goodbye
She will want another dog immediately so she can try not to think about it
She will refuse to think about it
Until she calls out for her dog, her baby, her Pepper and does not hear the click of her best friend's nails on the floor
She will wait for the barks that begin at 4:30 every night
She will lay where she used to with the dog
She will cry every time she thinks about her baby
She will yearn for the barks that once annoyed her or the constant barks
She will miss feeding her dog under the table
Or the times when they would dance together
The feeling of her thick fur under her hands
Or the fur that would somehow end up everywhere
She will feel as though there is no light without her dog
But she knows that those 12 years 88 days were the best of her life
She will never want to trade anything for that time
The laughter through the tears when she finds an old photo will change everything
She will remember that she shall reunite with her dog at the Rainbow Bridge