I say I do,
But I never actually.
I say I'm through,
But am I really?

The one who I vent to,
The one who listens.
The one who probably thinks I'm crazy,
but loves me anyways.

The one who I trust for anything,
The one who I tell everything,
The one who knows all,
but never judges me.

The one who trusts me,
The one who has my back,
The one who I am here for,
and doesn't push me away.

All the answers desired,
no answers given.

Questions wanted to be asked,
No courage to ask them.

Forever wondering,
Forever waiting,
In curiosity.

For I once believed it was,
Now I'm not quite sure.
I never know exactly what,
That has kept me here this long.

I don't know if I should stay,
Or to leave it be for good.
Because whenever I feel that I am wrong,
Something happens to prove me right.

So I decide to wait,
Is it worth it?
Give me a sign,
So I know.

Please,
I am not asking much,
Or maybe I am,
and am reading this wrong.

All I know is,
I try to understand.
I try to interpret,
but I usually fail.

I think too much.
I make stories up, that will never come true.
I tell my self scenario's, that are impossible.
I hope for things, that never actually happen.
But it's always there.
Hope
Hope for, I can not say.
For it is not something that I believe to be true,
But it's something that I so desperately want,
So Hope remains.
What I say, What I do, I plan.
I have a meaning for everything,
because I think too much.
I overthink, I get scared, I get anxious.
Why must my mind question everything?
Can't I just live in the moment, see what happens?

No.
because that wouldn't be me.
I am someone who thinks too much,
Someone who worries about everything,
and takes everything to the next level.
My thinking may go over the top,
but it gives me occasional happiness,
and eternal hope...i think.

Would make things so much easier.
I could know what to wish for,
without me being broken in the end.
I could know who to follow,
So I wouldn't go anywhere I didn't want to.
I could know what to do,
In times like this when confusion sets in,
and I don't know if what i'm thinking,
Is correct.
I hate to make myself hopeful,
for things that won't come true.
But I can't shake it off.
I don't know,
I will never know,
*the truth