the strain of labor
the pain of toil
the ache of legs and arms
the sweating brow
drudging farmer curse the soil
mutely chide the milkless cow

the demon waits for no man.
he rages forth
renders furrows charred
the fields so dry
the rocky ground so hard

The Quiet perches
My ***** burden true
Eyelids drooping
      and then the quiet grew

It, from golden bowl
To quench its thirst
Drinks my soul

Now my legs are set in lead
And I lie welded to my bed

I should do something

His teeth are crooked, bent and brown
   he grins with mirth, eyes pointing down
   his hollow head contains a thought
   friendly, yes but pleasant, not.

His whims, in fact, are quite alarming
   for what's on his mind is harming.

He wants to steal and take what's mine!

Alas! Why must Death be charming?

Deep fried asphalt crawls beneath my wheels as I pedal on, pursued by buzzing flies
   and salty drops of sunscreen sweat sting my squinting eyes.

Caffeine coursing through my corporal chassis fuels my weary legs
   and mutes the screaming mind that wants the same respite for which my human vessel begs.

Be the road before me treacherous, the hills before me steep,
   God heals my aching body every night with fitful sleep.

my day is naught but toil,
   my night is naught but strife.
in my sleep i turn and toss
   whilst a dream reflects my life.

why then does a smile chase these lips
   and a twinkle tease these eyes?
are my furrowed brow and fists a-clenched
   contentment in disguise?

Joy intrudes on every bitter moment;
   joy heals wrathful thoughts and wounded ken;
   joy thrusts forget on all my hurt
   and joy gifts vigor to my pen.

O God, your chronic cheer may end,
   see, your joy is hampered so.
your servant, i, will stretch it farther,
   where it wills to break i cannot know.

ashen wasteland
healed by dew
pulses, trembles
birthed anew
Mother beating
midnight drum
     lily, crocus
     cherry, plum

yearling stumble
hatchling drop
grizzly bumble
salmon flop
coyote howl
jackal bay
gleamy-eyed
they stalk their prey
brutal jaws
on tawny throat
****** tears
in tawny coat
feign o possum
flee o hare
     saffron, saltbush
     tulip, tare


Mother sows,
human reaps,
forward still
the forest creeps
hack and slash
slash and burn
     maple, mayfly
     buckthorn, fern

chipmunk gather
raccoon store
silence on
the barren moor
groundhog slumber
grizzly snore
    knocking on
    the Old Man's door

Earth drinks;
sky weeps;
      a misty shroud is spread
      o'er immortal Sol who sleeps.

1

What faith remains today
   that isn't locked inside
   the muted minds of flagging few
   to languish and reside?

Is there goodness to be reaped,
   by human hands untarnished,
   1  when HARM and MONeY grace the glutton's table,
    by lies and discord garnished;
   2  when greed spangles spotless hearts
   3  and lust commands their every whim;
   4  when envy robs their neighbor
   5  and sloth denies them vim;
   6  when wrath clouds their waning reason
   7  that's by pride already dim?

2

Oh say, can't you see that Uncle Sam's a-slumber?

He's dreaming the dream that built big cities
   and put a chicken in each ***,
   the dream that left the people wond'ring
   at what their silent god had wrought.

3

Oh say, can't you see that Uncle Sam's asleep?
He's drifted off to the American dream
   and not by counting sheep.

Five Hundred miles deep
where the work has just begun
the sweaty backs of Chinamen
reflect the high noon sun

Their hammers strike the iron stakes
with a sharp resounding ring
and they murmur ancient melodies
to the rhythm of their swing

a hundred miles deeper
in an oaken-wooded glen
rusty-bearded lumberjacks
take up the axe again

every man together
brings the forest to its knees
and grumbles songs of yesteryear
to the beat of falling trees

deeper still, the boys in blue
staying true to form,
pointing with their bayonets
upon the village swarm

they spill the purest blood
over sacred ground
their muskets singing fiery death
with that wicked, wicked sound.

If my sins returned as monsters
   if each lie awoke a ghoul
   there would be no hiding place
   nor shelter for my soul.

For my wrongs are many
   and forgiveness has been spent
   what with all the ills I've wrought
   'twould be inane to try repent.

The careless sounds slipped from my tripping lips
   the thoughtless flapping of my tongue
   those simple phrases cost me dearly
   on my shirtsleeves they've been hung.

Looking back at past events
   I find it quite absurd
   that God dost grant us no device
   to unspeak a wicked word.

I.
A glimm'ring rainbow greets a saint
   flown that frigid morn.
Heaven's gained another darling
   but Earth's adoring hearts are torn.

II.
Upon the solemn school descends a bitter pall;
   sadness skulks about the classrooms
   and drifts about each hall.
Carpets, desks, paper, tests
   are marked by tears that freely fall.

On the paper lies my blood
   my pencil is a vein
   take them from me and you've locked me up
   and I'm left with just my brain.

If my heart's removed from what I say
   I know I must refrain
   from spouting worthless, empty words
   I beg you,

Let creativity remain.

The withering of leaves complete
   the grass withdrawn
      the plants to peat
         all waste away
            and the fauna
               for famished scrawn
                 flee the North
                    for wind that bites
                        the powdered ice
                           the Winter Dawn.

The hardy sparrow
   fast forsakes
      that gaudy vest
          which Summer makes
             he scurries home
                to cozy fir
                   and shies from flight
                      'til Spring awakes.

Once the tears have been cried, are they worth more than a pail of salty Atlantic water?

Grief is not pain, but torment;
   torment we crave when we know our beloved have died.

And who knows grief?
A people without a home?
A child without a mother?

A mother without a child?

It comes in the night, like a thief,
   but unlike a thief, it does not abscond before the day breaks.

Does grief have a name?
Sorrow?
Regret?
Death?
Empathy?

Or are these grief's friends?

The souls that know will not tell,
   and those that don't know won't either,
   even when they finally find out.

And they will.

0



1

beat

1

beat

2

heart beat

3

right toe wiggle

5

right eye wink
hand open

8

place feet
on ground
stumble toward
mighty sound

13

must cry,
mustn't fall behind
drizzle kiss thy face
with dew
      amen, amen

21

may ears be deaf
to wicked lies
from cruelty, dread
I shield thy eyes
      softly spoke the truth
            whisper,
                   sleeping babe

34

lay thy being at thy fate
tousle I thy downy pate
      wouldn't solemn oath be kept
if demons lost their minds and
      wept?
Break them, they are within reach.
May strike land true.

55

wander toward thy destiny.
A carpet wove of dreams,
rolls ahead, lays a path,
tearing at the seams.
I lift thy body to the moon,
      Earth was in my way at noon.
couldn't dig like I know I must.
      When we get there we'll be dust

Heavens bless our journey,
      give us rest.

I.      My misty April dream subsides
           and she's still there.
         A vision with what's real collides;
            a fancy caught me unaware

II.     I dreamt
            of secrets caught in ruby lips
            riddles on her fingertips
        
III.    I wonder
            if I'm one of countless blips
            on her radar full of ships

IV.    I dreamt
            that I am more.

Sing to me, sing to me night,
   for I hark!
The cry of the owl,
   the hail of the lark;
   the kiss of the wind
   from blackness so stark;

Sing to me, sing,
   cheers of the dark.

Speak to me, speak to me
   'fore morn bereaves
   the rustling footsteps
   from dances of leaves
   as twinkling stars peek
   through high forest eaves

Speak to me, speak
   as night the moon cleaves.

IV. Vengeance

1. The story goes; an enemy
        absconded with his sins
        I guess he thought that she had no one
        and that the bad guy sometimes wins.

2. How foolish I was to think I knew true rage--        
        an overwhelming blaze consumes me
        my anger's stirred a bit at evils past
        but today its fire rushes free


3. You've been marked
        marked by God's almighty touch
You are cursed
        no man evades His clutch

      

                vengeance follows close behind
                    
                patient
                
                      silent
                      
                            watchful

when it pounces
             you may flee again

but when you run
the Wrathful Hand of God will ****** you up
and hurl you at my feet
  
                 and break you

'til there's nothing left to break

No joy, no truth,
      no ancient meaning behind the vinyl
     not even the bricks are real
    at least they're mortgaged and insured
   like I wish the smiles were
  and the plastic greetings
microwaved handshakes
TV dinner parties
polished homecoming basket ball courts
Cadillac joyrides
safe *** party buses
PlayStations
and all the white-sailed friendships sailing on the seven petty seas
electronic knives in hand

prepared to stab unwary backs
and eyes of subtle greens and blacks
hardly blinking, surviving digital attacks

No joy, no truth
     in the craters of this suburban war

II. Affection

1. I earned my kinship
        (yours just came along)
        we are sister, brother,
        born of fondness strong

2. I cherish your joy
        and weep for your sorrow.
I'm beside you for a dismal day
        to greet a sweet tomorrow

3. That's what God designed
        for dearest friends to do.
See, I meant it when I said "I love you"
        and I'm glad you meant it too

Ezra clamber’d o’er the crest
to seek the way which he knew best
which, passing by the yellow tares
and turning at a grove of pears
set him at ancient fungal oak
where upon a branch he hung his cloak

For on some odd-nights within his mare
declared a warlock and his maiden fair:

“Spindled by the peary copse
after fields of shammy crops
stands that vile toady oak
shading torpid mystic folk

“Percieveth thee the one with warty beak?
‘Tis to him whom you must speak.
Rouse him from his slumber, Ezra,
pray of him your task."

The wizard with the moley snout
reclining with a snoozy pout
snored upward from that moldy bark
and whispered “yonder peasant, hark!

“Ezra, deary, there’s a bane
The shepherds hold in some disdain
for sheps can’t herd bereft of sheep
and this bane ingests them in their sleep.
Do ******* hip your faithful blade
and into swampy depths do wade
so to provoke this shepherd's foe
and smite him lifeless head to toe.”

I may or can
elude an ism
underswooshing
rainbow prism

  shorts & sweats
  dares & bets
  trays & tables
  courts & nets

    couldn't would
    wouldn't should
    feeling, dealing
    plastic wood

      classroom, office
      closet, hall
      packet, racket
      mat & ball
      short & skinny
      fat & tall
      bless their souls
      & **** 'em all

III. Pain

1. Something broke you, beloved;
       you feel pain your eyes betray
The anguish in them crushes me...

2. please,
                tell me what he did to you that day

So, you want to be somebody?

When I was your age,
so did I.
I thought I had some secret talent,
so I reached for the sky.
I had everything to do
and forever to do it.
There were adventures for me;
opportunities -- I knew it.
Look at me now -- forty-four
getting old, gaining weight.
I would never have guessed
that this was my fate.
I couldn't get rich and famous,
try as I might
the worst part is that
I did everything right
I had straight As,
I stayed out of trouble,
never once broke the law
(and kind of lived in a bubble)

Well son, where'd I go wrong?
'cause that's the path to success.
Now I rot in an office, barely living
on donuts and gas station coffee -- I digress.
Anyway, no -- stay in school.
The numbers say that you can't, so you won't.
Never chase after daydreams --
Thank me later when you don't.


Okay -- I hear you haven't been doing your homework?

      Listen, son.

They're here to teach you, you;re
hereto obey.
If homework wasnt impooooortant
            would you get it every day??

You see if you dont do your homework, youll get annswers wrong, and wrong is the worstt hing to be,You can   't learn by gettting your testing         testing answers wrong. Your future will be a shotin the dark and youll probablymiss. Okay?

obey.

I. Blessed

1. The music breathes something through us,
        you and I;
        playing in our voices,
        soaring toward the sky

2. Our hearts break at all the wrong notes,
       but that's okay;
       our hearts break together
       and we like it best that way

3. So I love it
         when we dance
         when we around
         your record player prance

4. I love it when we dance the night away

sailed we far and long
a hundred nights on end
we read ourselves
mind and body mend
we split the glassy sea
with eternity contend
we stand and drink
healing Solar gleam
we draw from mortal well
sky paints itself with dream
the wind whispered in my ear
soothed my newborn skin
leaves rustled me to life
fireflies danced their little language
cattail cities tall
crickets greet the Autumn dusk
and so sang the pilgrims,


Farmer Pilgrim Harvest Prayer


"O Green, Mother dear,
Bless the dirt next year
     Kiss the earth with flood
     Drown it in terrestrial blood."

breakers buffet stern
but I, a cabin boy,
cannot the rudder turn

in a battle all but lost
I sit as wounded cry
for I, a lowly page,
cannot my weapon try

I can only watch and pity me
and those I love
and pray for rescue
from above

and mercy

for I am powerless.

How chugs the machine,
      my superior?
      my oiled cog?
What new fuel has it this year?
What has it exhausted?
Is there a rusty gear?
Will you cast it out?
Surely it isn't so dear
      that it might stay.

Our hats will be very fancy, won't they?
Our papers will be too.
They will say:
      "I am very good at obeying."

Yours looks very nice on your wall.

The chain(I sink)just lost a link
               (I sink)beneath the rising tide
               (I sink)in heartbeats or a blink
               (I drown)inside
  a world of hurt,
  a breath of hurt,
  a cry of hurt galore;
I paid a penny for my hurt,
  splendid hurt
    (what's more).
Hurts combine to end me
          (though a thousand hearts defend me).

Duct tape will mend a hurting heart,
               I think.
A sea of hurt - I forget where I should start.
                I sink.

Every lover has an inner glow
      by which they are illuminate and whole
A lover loving, truly loving
      warms the other with the light of Sol

O blessed light
      o life-joy, life-blood
      o heart-beat
      o love within
O blessed light

Were it not
      and the sun slept in
      or simply didn't wake
      if Christ returned
      every soul to take,

So be it.

You are my Sol.

55

nobody stirs
this ageless gloom
no tick, no tock
in mother's womb
the halls, unfurnished
echo naught
by no one built
from nothing wrought
      in amniotic brine
      musn't something drift?
      where is mother's gift?
      where wander creatures?
      where spins the earth?
      where dance the angels?
      will mother give birth?
forever slumber yields no rest

34

quoth the eternal
"i've no bud
no branch to bloom
i spend myself
in unwalled room
oh that i had
a lamp to light
i would brighten
this forever night"
and powerful he was

21

unmeasured linger

celestial finger
      touch

Heaven quake
Hades quiver
      elemental shake
      voluntary shiver

Mother shriek
Shiver speak
Mighty Sol Arise

13

O Shiver strengthen
to a buzz
      sail o'er the world
      like Luna does

8

march, swim
sneak, feel
shelter, drink
hunt, steal

5

think
rethink
worship
adapt
survive

3

react
rebuild
thrive

2

heart
beat

1

beat

1

beat

There's room for two?
     My Pit was my own, I thought--
A welcome spark blots out the gloom.

You don't belong here; this is where sinners rot.


      Extend a hand though, maybe?
            if I'm not too unclean
                  I might soil alabaster
                        or tarnish pearly sheen.

Aren't you afraid of the quicksand?
The churning, noxious mire?
      Sheol, purgatory?
            The sinner's pyre?
What is your glow
      that you do not fear?
Why are you bold
      as even demons near?

Oh, but it is quiet.
Nevermind the noise
nevermind the rich perfume
nor the pretty plastic toys
ignore the laughing girls and boys

Perhaps only I can hear the Quiet...

Oh, but it is very quiet.

"Blessings from above
      upon me", whisper I
as golden hair tickles me awake
      (it smells like Summer).
Azure eyes sparkle in the sunshine
      (they look like Summer sky).


2. Pardon love, pardon lovers,
      pardon beauty, pure as dew,
pardon laughter, sweet as honey,
      pardon joy when love is true.

3. Bless the one who you adore
and let him or her bless you.

Above the Silver Sea,
The Phoenix spreads her wings
she weeps and cries aloud
for pain, grief and other things
      that she remembers, like
she lost count of her young
who from the nest had sprung,
leaving her, their flaming mother
though, perhaps to find another
who wouldn't burn them with her touch,

maybe hugs won't hurt as much.


She wept and wept
for there were none
there was no other mother
she was the only one


*So to steam turn her boiling tears
with them evaporate her fears
she stands on spindly legs
and fondly shades her speckled eggs

She sings to anyone who hears:

"Oh, I must be extinguished!
Love from cruelty cannot be distinguished!

I'll fly for Sol tomorrow;
there, on that star, I'll burn away my sorrow."

i master my dimension
i bend it to my will
it goes, it comes, it comes around
and now it's standing still

lonely, i am called
to watch this certain way
so i watch and write and watch and write
until my dying day

these are my weapons
these are my tools
these are how we are
how we grew from fools

we cast off our bonds
we pluralize our wit
we sail to great beyonds
and savor every bit

when,
gliding past our memory  
we reach a silver shore
and walk up ancient steps
to knock on pearly door

its vastness swallows me
and spits me out alive
if only i had known the pain
before i took the dive

but if i hadn't woken
had the golden bowl been broke
if i hadn't gathered all the bits
before the shiver spoke
if my ramblings were wrong
had the visions lied
if I never knew a thing
had I never really tried
if I never understood
what everything implied
if i hadn't had a glimpse
before my body died

would this whisper of a life
wither in futility
or would it echo
     in the halls
           of
                 infinity?

0



1

beat

1

beat

2

heart beat

3

left eye wink

5

both eyes blink.
heart beat

8

tear free,
stomp, stomp, repeat.
launch thy ship

13

mustn't cry,
must run ahead
      drizzle smite
      the demons dead
again, again,
      amen

21

I hear cries of tortured men
I ask my God,
      "where are they then?"

"When they die
      they're born again."

      amen.

34

muse of hatred,
why do you cling to My hair?
My voice is sacred
to shout My words.
My Legend overflows.

a wake of rotting flesh.
a dank air blows
through the calm forest.

55

squeeze and pull
to no avail
my beard is grey
my skin is pale
my hands, they bleed
my mind, it fail

spirit bend
'til bowl it break
gears, they grind
'til body ache

i hack, i slash
i slash and burn
mother **** my every turn

i lay in sand and gasp for life

I spend daylight climbing from My Pit
      'til night when I'm pulled back down.
My arms grow weary;
     would it be easier to drown?

in My Pit
devoid of light
with only loneliness
and fright?

the Darkness swallows me
like quicksand, it swallows me
I am feeble, empty,
there is no rescue for me

?

I rewrite a verse
     that's been written before
hundreds or thousands of times;
      I have a little more

I write for joy above words;
above a thousand pictures, each for a thousand words,
for joy who lets us fly beside the birds

I write the love written on our Hearts.


      You are my princess,
      I am your lover
            We dance the night away
            While above us angels hover

Turn in your highest score
Sit down, get ready for more
Let us see, hold it open,
But when you leave, shut the door
      don't wear that you filthy *****

Your results are in, let's take a look--
Congratulations! Here is atrophy for you.

0



1

beat

1

beat

2

heart beat

3

spread over sky

5

all light and all dark

8

the new clarity, the everything of time, gestalt

13

human arrogance absolved by totality, evil and good, beauty and horror as one

21

can stay in ecstasy forever, but delight is tainted by the shiver of being, the ahead, the beginning, cannot escape time

34

not above, not outside, for a beat spread like oil on still water, a bit of myself touching everything, not quite joining it but poised to, should my nature change, should I be untethered

55

and better, my slick still expanding, the reach of vision yet to ******, the stories, the rub, I drink an elixir of perfect euphoria, I spit the dross of man's burden though a residue remains, an echo of flavor on my tongue, each century a tastebud wet with consciousness, my mind a mouth, masticating experience

89

wonder at the limitless, can I be deceived when I know all truth and can speak eons of knowledge in a word? When I can conceive of every motion an atom's atom can make and every motion thereafter, the every story that grew me to my lofty sojourn among galaxies that I can hold in my light-year hands? What force can challenge me, the ascended begun to break in my throne of stars? I would deign to challenge gods if they were not few, weak and far between

144

play, a heart beat, celebration that I Am, the starlight eyes of grateful souls rejoice. Immortal muse of laughter, my reflection on the glassy sea. An ache I don't remember having passes, an unnamed need is met. Mother berth of reason, whole beget a whole, I saw it all inside a bubble, WHAT eclipsed by KNOW. The tear, the tear, the weeping jest, labor, love, solitary kiss, voluntary shiver. Breadth of color, sound and smell, success, respite, despair. Esoteric afterthought, answers to forgotten questions, illuminate retroscape on which to dance, play, play for all eternity. All is humor, even war, the spent and wasted youth, the murdered and abused, to **** is to set free; suffering yields to bliss at the end of life. Sudden, the limit of exaltation. My hand passes through, I cannot rewrite the rules. I cannot pierce the veil.

89

I knew. Has every peak a valley? asked, answered as My City dimmed its lights. Retreat, retreat, recede, severed synapse secrete silence, destroyed, dead, decay, decrepit, detritus, demon, demon, demon, demon, demon, demon feel the flesh where I hadn't none before, but anguish betrays truth, the reality of right now is pain. Bits crushed by imagination. Frothing alchemy of mud and water, slime and earth combine. Rays beat chapped and charring soil, germinate the mine. Its bend and bow its grave concave rolling man together

55

hag she cackle, ghoul he roar, flit, fly, I tremor, shake, defy. Build me bowels out, I breathe, what lungs have I? Fester unwhole word I strain my grind to cry. Yes, friction, worldly choose, fragments shatter in reverse, Appeasing hunger, dousing flame. Whine of anguish slow subside but I still feel it burn inside

34

oh sweet water, you again, I want to need you, I want to eat, to ****, to die. Enslave, okay free me from this wretched bliss, drain the bottomless ocean and cut short eternity

21

waking rest it wait, soon I walk again. Fear its taste, embrace the waist and kiss the face of chaste

13

human ignorance evolved by fatality, good, evil, beauty, horror each in its way

8

the old blur, the brokenness of my perspective

5

light and dark at war

3

again at war

2

heart beat

1

beat

1

beat

0

So that's a guiltless smile?
Untainted golden hair?
      My hands don't deserve
            to touch this beauty fair.

The pit releases me.
      Yes, reluctant, but does it matter?
I found my Sol.

i wish it could have done it yesterday or last week even but theres no looking back. tomorrow isnt far away or it could be because time is as relative as everything else in this world (whether it's small because there aren't even 200 countries in it, or if it's large because 196 is actually very many). either way although time is absolutely relative i dont feel as though i have a whole lot of it. i digress. i was saying that i wish i did everything yesterday and hadnt put it off until today. but because i did im getting this weird panicky undercurrent as i wade through the river of life. if i were to be honest when asked "how are you" id reply "good and scared" if i was feeling good and "not good and scared" if i wasnt. every night as i prepare to waste the next 8 hours (optimally) of my life i count to myself the number of things i should have done that day that instead i put off til the next. its never a small number (Unless you think about it differently. Numbers are relative, after all). the worry i wake up with drives me like a nail through the day and the anxiety that remains drives me like a nail through the night (sleep is optional). when they are combined i write. i write without meter grammar spelling (sometimes) meaning (sometimes) or purpose (always). its a huge waste of time but i do it anyway

wrinkled eye
      news of years gone by
cardboard, cotton, polyester
      bitter whiskey, wounded mind a-fester

fog a window with her breath
     licking cookie crumbs
holds the sign between *******
     frost burnt up her thumbs

ANYTHING HELPS
GOD BLESS

A laser cut the bars, the beast springs its cage
  Pray a hero shoot me down lest the world feel my rage

Weakish, held up by hair
  Want to squish, cut the jugular you bear

I am my owner,
  I punish slaves who disobey.

can't believe I done it,
  more meticules,
    again.
      pour some sugar on my brine
        burn vestibule
          sour grey matter.

Abreast the wind, my height is tower.
Hark! What pith I have to spit.
My gallons breath engulf the ocean.
I spread my eagle's brace.

coarse mesh gear sleep

on scratchy carpet kibble nest
neck and twitching fingers rest
blankets 'bout me, cotton quilt
my paper's torn, my bowl of silt
shaken o'er the carpet, floor
a cat-fur pancake, sticky, snore

by what i swear's out what i pound
but how i fare'll ne'er resound

hoarse flesh beer weep