I can't
My hands shake and I hear the words
No no no no ****
Come from somewhere
Maybe from me?..and my back
Is against the bathroom wall
And if there is a God,
I pray to him that
You stay breathing

I didn't know that
The last time
I hugged you
And told you
To come home
Soon
It would be the
last time

Tonight,
The vines that always grow
Are cut.
They seep water
Like my mouth does words.
They stem from impossible
Things.
The vines are cut,
And she noticed
My scars
But did not ask.
The vines
Will never tell.

Why do we worry?-
When all that matters
Is the sun
Burning up in the sky

I guess, sometimes
we leave people behind.
In the time it took for me
to see this was to be,
I must have left a few,
and I'm sorry if it was you.
But then again, perhaps I'm not -
you're better now, and if you forgot,
then I'm glad you did, it must be grand
to live with some ghosts you understand.

I'd wake up
beside you
to tell you
I love you,
but you
are too
far away.

I look in the mirror,
And I find God.
Looking in the eyes
Of someone who doesn't believe
In such a thing.
I guess we question
What we don't know.
I guess that's why I'm so
Good at never saying hello.
Because once they know
You're willing to put in the effort,
You become the only one
Trying to make it work.
So I don't work.
I kiss with the option to run,
To turn left and look back
But not come back.
So I guess I gotta start somewhere.
Same rings as he had,
But slightly luckier to have someone
To call and check on me.