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Oct 2014 · 170
Finally back home
Mr Xelle Oct 2014
I caught the rain before I came

My jacket was soaked my heart felt the same.

Had to dry off before I came.

Lost my job and one of my friends on the way.

Before that me and my brother talked about God and it was great.

But I'm scared but not scared that he might take off or give me a break.

That house was a refuge to me and my days.

Before that she's mad at me again..

It all started with a crack of disobey,
It's hard to not scream when it's someone i love giving up on me.

Finally back and I layed down cause for weeks I haven't got no sleep.

To be honest I don't know what was better to walk and be soaked by the rain or walk for hours in the pouring rain.
Oct 2014 · 481
I got a weggy.
Mr Xelle Oct 2014
I wonder sometimes about the former friends
Then I look at you and I don't want you to be a former friend.
I never want you to get unexcited when I come.
Or slowly don't text don't call no more "hey let's hangout friend".

Yes I'm scared if you leave me for another friend.
That's why when they chill I stay distant or over talk you to act like there funnier then you.

I only write this cause you do it to me
You make me feel bigger in something's but smaller in others.

I sound weird but your awkward
Dang if you leave that's a ******..
Oct 2014 · 186
Untitled
Mr Xelle Oct 2014
The old and familar stain.

Is it me or my room?
My hands or my tenishoes?
The way I talk or just my mouth?
I don't know why I go this rout..
Oct 2014 · 271
Wonderous night
Mr Xelle Oct 2014
Me and the night has become one..
I feel gloomy like the stars
I feel shady like the moon
I walk under it all
Just to learn that it comforts my soul.
Oct 2014 · 248
It's true to
Mr Xelle Oct 2014
On the highest when I praise
I'm the lowest when I fall
When they call I'm the youngest at heart,
But I'm the oldest in age
I do more then what I supose to,
Just to see a smile..,.dang
Oct 2014 · 1.3k
Regrets
Mr Xelle Oct 2014
Regrets... Mmm yea I got some.
Sense were talking about them do you mind if I told you some?

I regret for leaving,
I regret for staying there..
I regret for leaving mommy,
I regret for staying with you bobby.
I regret for the distance,
I regret for being to close.
I regret for going outside in the cold just to shoot bball that night when my whole family went to go watch a movie.
I regret for putting you up so far that when you hurt me it crumbled the years between us.
I regret for kissing him,
I regret for kidding her.
Now my demons throw rocks at me no matter what the size is.
I regret for not listening,
I regret for well...listening.
Being hard head in both places
Selfishness and offended is the worst when it comes to hearing.

But one thing I don't regret is everyone of them being in my life .. I love you.
Oct 2014 · 181
Kicked out ..
Mr Xelle Oct 2014
My tears won't come like my eyes won't close for sleep,
The last dream I guess was telling me there was a door closing on me.
I've been walking till my feet dreams,
Please no I'll take what I need!
This isn't the end....
But I tell you this will be the end of sleeping outside and not getting payed!!
My fault mom forgive me but in I learned that it's time for great.
I'm not settling for the best...
Faith I hold today.
Oct 2014 · 248
Numb
Mr Xelle Oct 2014
Up
Can't sleep
Numb
No dreams
My toms
Two holes
My shirt
Soaked to
Pain
It bleeds out
Pain
It bleeds threw
Mom
Forgive me
Dad
I'm sorry
Me
Don't know me
I
Been cold
Myself
He knows
Faith
I still believe
Hey
I still believe in you.
Oct 2014 · 412
I'm Already..2
Mr Xelle Oct 2014
Your handshakes are wanted
But your smile is much needed
I take trust joy and loyal over feelings.

My  house is the one by the water
And the fence with white gates.
Let my cat be my daughter and my friends come when I take half an hour just to get the shower because the hot water is great.

My producer blowing up my phone cause he said that I'm late, throw my skinnies on and muslce shirt and  I break.
Drive the speed limit cause God is the only one that I chase, when I make it he say " you got a interview with the A... He hands me my paycheck and says "I'll see you at 8"...

My brother Ryan text me and say "R U Ok" and I look up and then back at the mic and text "hey ..We made it!!!
"I'm coming pick you up okay."

Then he say "I'm already on my way!"

Man I can't wait for this day and this will be one of my days one of these days soon
Oct 2014 · 259
Underline time
Mr Xelle Oct 2014
I've been drugged for the last time,
And no I'm great.

I know I need to take a shower,
But I'm scared it will wash you away..

I can't hear my dreams cause I've been losing sleep.

Oh I should stayed after the fight,
And let time wash the pain.

I played my records so many times,
Till Silence is the best key.

When your world is crashing down
And your friend is sleep..
It's hard to keep it in,
When in your head all you thinkin about is do I have somewhere to sleep?
Oct 2014 · 1.6k
Master of Fish
Mr Xelle Oct 2014
Good
Loving
Feel so Numb
Take me
Let go
Dripping that's my ..umm..

My thoughts on the floor when you used your brain,
6 years later still feel your tongue.
Letf these words so I won't feel insane
Critics come I'll let them win,
I lost more so where do I begin.

Rated R well that's my past
What do you want me to talk about?
Egior Allen Poe?

That's not me and he is dead,
I rather talk about my rehab of when I was losing sleep in my own bed..

I fished
Have you?
You wouldn't tell me
Oh I know..
Oct 2014 · 402
Watch ..
Mr Xelle Oct 2014
Life is a journey and I'm not talking about the band.
People Pointing fingers in this life like Uncle Sam.
But who's den with the dragon?
We need a swordsman to defeat this beast man!
Run forest! Just to show you you can do it!
No question the answer is in Gods hand.
The fat lady sings and the curtains begin.

I lift my eyes for I don't have nothing but ashes, dirt and quicksand.

One day I  will have better then ashes dirt and quicksand.

Watch.. I clock the time it's ticking man
Oct 2014 · 769
1:14 am
Mr Xelle Oct 2014
Tired.. I'm tired of fighting
Tired of biting at the hand that feeds
What's complicated is that I still don't know what's eating me...

I slide closer to you in my bed and yes just to sense the warmth of your body
Prolly I mean probably I'm that type
Probably I mean prolly you like me around like circle sometimes.

I see your smile and you don't like it cause your teeth are not straight but what's gay when your drinking milk just to build your bones so you won't look like your last past 5 years your nice!

Don't make sense but it's alright.

Call me what you like but I'm that hugger from another mother intimate conversation type of guy.
So no matter what they think, I'll hold you my friend until we get off the floor and be stronger better greater then what we just cried.

Tired..I'm tired so I slide closer to as you pat my back for the first time,

Night.
Mr Xelle Oct 2014
Watching a tree blow in the wind tonight and I don't know why I can't sleep.

My life blows like a tree in the wind,
I create shade for thoughs who read but winter comes I'm rooted to this dirt of mine I can't "leaf".

..And there they are on the ground leaving me, what more do I have except the branches and thorns but that's me!

But you .. You ...come to me and I ...I move
Everything I am to you what am I to you?
To me I'm a tree no for me tree you help me breath and you show me that God is with me as his love flows threw the breeze.

Thank you mr. Tree...
Oct 2014 · 249
Night-dreaming
Mr Xelle Oct 2014
Can't sleep threw the night
My head off my pillow cause my arms hold it so tight.
My ears replay the song more then twice but the fun has just begun.
Slowly night-dream of me kissing your cheek and falling to pieces in your arms.
Other side of me taking my car and sitting outside of your house until you see me...then I drive off.

No wait! It gets deeper yelling in the game room with you showed me how hard it is to control something that's already a furnace.

Mom... I pray I see you in public me with a good car and a stable job you with a smile and jetty.

Then we embrace and ketchup like condiments on the things we spoke and seen.

And the deepest thing about this is I've been sitting for hours night-dreaming.
Mr Xelle Oct 2014
Guide me and lead me and teach me feeding off walking abd speaking in manners I'm peaking feeling my feelings it's crazy took me sometime just to love me I love you like loves theme loves being the ultimate pool cause most of us is swimming but lately I've been sinking in love waking up and finding everything that I need is that while my sentences rush at the door to my visions so my dreams are becoming reality so I'm more then dreaming!
Oct 2014 · 289
U good?
Mr Xelle Oct 2014
"Hey you good..?"

Tell me I got time.. To listen
Oct 2014 · 288
Untitled
Mr Xelle Oct 2014
Hanging on by faith so what's holding me?
I'm not numb I just can't carry my feelings.
I'm like a ear with a earphone in it.
The song I hear is "You can do this, your gunna make it."
When I take them out I look up and start walking.
Went in with expectancy left with with expectancy.
I will make it threw this nothing is holding me ...
But I'm hangout with faith soon nothing will go tell something and most will say well he's got something why is he still driving because there's a day where everything will try to be with me it will get jealous at me and faiths love you see then there will be anything trying to hold my hand but let them speak all of them will walk with me one day but at the end it will be faith that will lead that's been leading me .
Oct 2014 · 195
Mindful.
Mr Xelle Oct 2014
Word spread like peanut butter I guess when it hit my ears I already got milk and cookies to eat and a side order of what people think of me.

But what they think is what they think I think some thoughts but my mouth haven't been with me for 2 weeks cause of the weight I wait to see but I believe in me.

That's why I got up from what they want me to eat and started making my own food and praying when I have time I like that more then meat.

It's good..?  what's good if you eating crumbs from the thought that they think?

Look be mindful not the thought that they think, please remember hear before you speak and listen more to your heart then your feet.
Oct 2014 · 292
Thank you
Mr Xelle Oct 2014
Thank you for giving me time,
And a plate.
Your shoes and this place,
It's soo great.
I've learned that threw thick and then
The smallest to the biggest.
We all have beautiful difference.

I know that don't make sense but I just wanted to say I love you guys and thank you.
Oct 2014 · 251
Who are these
Mr Xelle Oct 2014
Who are these that stand up and speak with authority?

The wind changing
Mind holding
Heart warming
Hands raising  and say to pain.
Stop right here and let joy come to embrace me.

I'll tell who we are We are The Lovers
Oct 2014 · 305
Floating on to greatness
Mr Xelle Oct 2014
When the world calls you crazy
When your feet is walking to amazing
When your heart stops just breath
When your hands are in heat
And you write more then you what you think
When your pen cant seem to sleep
When the pages embrace your thumb
And your life becomes good things...

Whatever floats your boat,
No I sinked a lot of times and notice
I was meant to breath in the deep.
This time I will float up and see greatness one of theses days
Oct 2014 · 359
I'm ready
Mr Xelle Oct 2014
Is you ready
Are they ready tell me
Are you ready

Hay my love this is why I'm here for I'm ready,
Are you downtown or in town in ready.
When the music comes and the man you see ain't there just know I was ready.
When the the interviews  and the performances hold weight till I lay down I'll tell them I was ready.

When that car is in his lot and I've been waiting for this moment I'll look up and thank him.. And say "guide me I'm ready".

And when the  world look like they gave up in me, and I keep going putting hours in the studio the song will come and it will be called "im ready".

But in all this when the sky splits and hell departs there gates I'll look up and say Ill be ready..

Just know whatever you wanna do just know I'm already ready.
Oct 2014 · 270
I can't help it.
Mr Xelle Oct 2014
Times still running,
And my mind still running.
But my bad I just can't help it.
To stop and breath and look up
Oh my bad I just can't help it..
I walk every where now cause I know I'm one step away from who I'm supose to be.
Oh my bad I just can't help it..
To sit and listen to you cause I don't know when I'll be back but if I got a back I'll be back to listen and sit.
Oh my bad I just can't help it...
When I'm alone and the tears I cry is out of Joy cause he's still breathing
Oh MY FRIEND I JUST  CANT HELP IT..
Oh my love I just can't help it
Oh mom I just can't help it
Oh Daddy I just can't help it
Oh Ryan I just can't help it
Oh fallen Acon I just can't help it...

Oh reader my bad my smile shows everytime I walk it let's me know that its possible to be sitting with you.
Oct 2014 · 297
R.A.O. #wedemboys
Mr Xelle Oct 2014
Little brother,

A rose in west medows.
He came from jersey but it's weird that we have the same petals.

Walking behind I like to see where your feet goes,
"The best friend I've seen in minute" word to Rico.

"Bestest friend I've seen" words from me though.

The song we sing I sing a song just too see you smile..
Cause it shows me that I'm doing somthing in my life.

So much I wanna say,
And I know say a lot

But if there was one thing I could I would say

Thank you for loving me, and believing in me.

Always will be here for you..
Always..
Always...
Always ...
Always..

Love you..
I've always wanted a lilttle brother and can't ask for a better one and worst one I love the worst in you and I love the best in you and in both I will be there.
Mr Xelle Oct 2014
Time still running and my mind still raining.
I close the shades and think of the kiss and your smile.
Maybe the displine from my Dad felt better then a mile at 4 am.
Oct 2014 · 341
2 weeks
Mr Xelle Oct 2014
Only got two weeks to live
Two weeks to get my stuff together before they throw me out for Good.
It's good because there people,
His wife support the family like a anchor
The Dad lost but he's a good fellow
There son...well there son is incredible.
I hope one day he reads the Hints that I gave him,
Before I Leave I pray They sense the love that ease,
A laughter for the mom to inhale and exhale the tention.
A intimate talk with the Dad for the times that he sounds like nobody listens.
And a overflow for the son for the times that he chased friends and girls so he can call someone that was there before.
For me a sunrise and hug before I leave,
And I pray to God that all this will happen before two weeks.

..amen
Oct 2014 · 224
Reason
Mr Xelle Oct 2014
Tell me the reason why you didn't come.
Tell me why you left..huh?
It's obvious I played the foolish son,
I'm only bleeding because I played a loved one.
I got hit by my own tongue,
I only stop sometimes when I'm not done.
But I'm finish playing broke one
But I'm finish playing no God
But I'm finish playing I didn't come
So my reason are excuses and that's why I hold my tongue.
Oct 2014 · 456
Curious
Mr Xelle Oct 2014
Thinking bout the future.
Got me walking kinda deeper,
The pains and hurt for free.
Payed for all of this if I think,
My past I tell on me.
Just to  see friends roll on me,
If there's a will I'll be the brake.
If there the gas then I'm the keys
I don't turn until I sink.
Never poured unless I drink
Man my life is looking weak
Maybe cause I chased the king
Or the stuff I wanted to be.
In the mirror I hate to see,
But I'm curious of who I might be...
I'm curious
I'm curious
Oct 2014 · 448
Hero N the Villian
Mr Xelle Oct 2014
Waking up to the hero and the villian.
I went to sleep with the hero and the villian.
The spirit I got the healin,
My mind reminds me I'm not different
Cause I was born with the same sickness.
Heros never die only for a good cause,
But it hurts to know I'm the one that's gunna set his trap up....I'm tripping.
But the Good in me is gunna be the one that's going to Win...losers ain't winners and heros always win.
Oct 2014 · 1.2k
Green Glove
Mr Xelle Oct 2014
Wishing I'm hoping I'm praying for something but who isn't?

Tell them I get it I did it I knew it.

This was gunna happen, but I wonder if I was hoping and praying and wishing that I didn't...

Here I am looking threw the distant,
In real life I've been looking at this green glove for a minute.
Oct 2014 · 414
666
Mr Xelle Oct 2014
666
Thought of a heart is frabicated,
Faith in a substance is sophisticated
The number of man is orchestrated
If sin is weighed then thank the waiter,
Plate of discuss has made you patient.
He fixed the problem that was illustrated.
He came because life is documented.
One comes to let you play with,
Illusions and confusion we will call that magic.
It's a sign it's warning if you go everything with him will be disconnected.
6 can be rehabilated, 66 is no contention , 666 is total of who is who will come and who will be defeated.
Oct 2014 · 267
Butterflies and Bells
Mr Xelle Oct 2014
Whatever I been threw
Whatever I been threw
Couldn't hold my smile
Couldn't hold me down..
When I stop just to eat threw
Just to eat time away from the night
Ohh..
They took my order
But you came with my order
My eyes weren't supose umm..
Wait
Did you smile at me?
Yeah you smiled at me..
I'm coming back just to tell you I got butterflies from that...
Sep 2014 · 316
Away from me..
Mr Xelle Sep 2014
I want you bad.

I want you bad
Naughty not nice.
Kissing your nose while you giggle inside.
I want you bad
**** Naked by my side
Waking up with your hands in places where it's very hard to think twice.
I want you bad deep intimate thoughts away
I wonder if you would ride,
Even though your a small piece It's still a handful when you wag that tale.
Lollipop .... The cheesecake kind..I wana see how much wip cream will come out this time.
I want you bad!
Grab a hold of mine,
Yank it pull it look at me when you hold me tight
...this ***** cause I'm so blatant..most won't ever talk about this but I'm the freak of nature.
Yeah point the fingers, I'll be the one on my knees praying to God that he will take all these
Sep 2014 · 204
The trail
Mr Xelle Sep 2014
Follow the trail of life,
Hope I direct you to right the place
I feel there's a gap other times it's like I'm caught in space..
Not day dreaming but day living
Sep 2014 · 180
Old songs & new faces
Mr Xelle Sep 2014
They look different in the distance,
But both can change in a instant.

Like church and religion,
Without love what is it?

What is it...
Sep 2014 · 264
Distant Lovers
Mr Xelle Sep 2014
Distant lovers were just to far apart.

I tryed to hold you up but you fell apart.

Tell me why, why are you walking out.

Why are you walking..?

Oh tell me, oh tell me, We can work this out..

Just think about it, all that we been threw.

You telling me, "I need space right now".

Oh noo..

I'm tryna tell you your  love is all it takes and no one else can take your place.

Will I be the one you say I Am ..I am
Your man.
Sep 2014 · 197
Non Vacant places
Mr Xelle Sep 2014
When they said it's over now you said
I'm  still down.

When I didn't wanted to be sober you came for another round.

When they all left I turned my back to the world when the world turned you turned to me.

I can't lie I can't sleep I can't leave you cause you never left me if I was asleep when you call it was only because I was walking out the dream you had for me.


I forgot to put myself on the list for heaven cause I felt like I wasn't gunna make it,
Until you came you always came to tell me I made it that's why when in these places I place nothing above you for one day i will be in that place of worship.

Not that it's not already taken, I just know my spot is not vacant.
Sep 2014 · 311
Teller Teller...
Mr Xelle Sep 2014
I can't get up from my knees..
I got paper cuts on my hands.

My friend today asked me "Do you wanna blow trees"?
My answer was it makes me *****..

It was the truth but what I should of said I didn't,
And what I should do I don't.

I know your direction but the way I go is so awful..

Some say *** is not a curse word so why did I get such conviction?

It was never about money cause I knew that you supplied, I see change and I run to it man I hate this..

I told my friends but ignore me some are just ignorant, but if I don't pay attention that makes me stupid.

I tell on myself for only one explanation.

I need grace. I need mercy. I need forgiveness. Oh God I need Jesus
Sep 2014 · 387
Crave what I hate
Mr Xelle Sep 2014
Back and forth I feel sea sick
But when I wake up I swear I have amnesia.
Can't recall who I called to have pleasure, but why applaud something when my hands are down like tree trunks? Watever that means..
Sep 2014 · 229
Ending of me..
Mr Xelle Sep 2014
I walk to the door the one with the exit sign.
I followed the cord for all my life.
It leads to this
It leads to Christ..
I don't know
I don't know why.
What's behind is ashes and dark nights.
This is the only thing I have in this life.
What means so much is cracking breaking I'm loosing myself.
I hold the **** like it was one of my hands.
There's a light on the other side it's like I can ..I can feel it.
I saw my own body decaying infront of me,
There's a time to die but after I pray that what I did hear was for a greater something...
We live by not living, we die but were not even trying.
Sep 2014 · 160
When they told me..
Mr Xelle Sep 2014
When they told me that the world was ending,
I took a breath cause it was breath taking.
I sat down cause my knees were shaking.
I looked down for all of the mistakes I have made ...naked.
Then I thought of your face and your life and asked God.
"Who are you"?
"Who am I"?
What is man that your mindful of him.
So many questions when it all goes down..
If you say who you say you are, the ones I love how can I save those who you created to be in my heart?

Then the earthquakes got stronger.
The tornados got bigger,
Destruction was weather,
My eyes saw better.
Everything was on fire!
And with a soft answer.. Everything...everything Stopped..when God spoke and said.

"This is my son(Jesus) who I am well pleased listen to him".

And for the first time in all times I timed to speak, see,walk, talk I .....I...

Accepted my fate.
At the end it's great.
But without God's grace.
You get the others place.

When He told me the world is ending..
Sep 2014 · 150
I need help.
Mr Xelle Sep 2014
Dancing in places that will soak up my face.
The tears won't come down cause I cleared the whole place.
With a word that will sit with silence and stop my brain..
That let the dark enter but only when I say.
It will let the moon come close and the stars look far away.
Where gravity pulls me to my knees as I lose my steps.
Harp plays in the background and the Piano leaves outta know where as the tears come in to rest.

Here I am on my knees saying " I need help"
Sep 2014 · 216
I can feel it in the air.
Mr Xelle Sep 2014
It's colder then sweaters and jackets.
My feet drifts from where I love to be cause the wind has become a yell more then a sweet whisper.
I wear words that are not mine just to hear another person speak,
What I say is so..so..soo weak..
My displine fails me and my mind leaks dreams of what's to come as most I lay in a pool of keys but don't know where the door is to exit..well Me..

I look to the heavens of a God or religion or a diety.
For me Hes a God where does my help come from? My help comes from The Lord the maker of heaven and earth.

You don't feel it?
If you don't ask your self

"what am I missing"?

-pool full of keys with no exit,
Maybe the key is you..
Sep 2014 · 928
Second best
Mr Xelle Sep 2014
I'm tired of being second.. My eyes lose direction when I think of this planet.

My palms so hot and my heart is drawn to lyrics.

There words trace my life and my appearence, forget what they say cause all they ever want is someone who will give them attention !

Those idols! Those Golden and silver boys and Girls that gave there soul for attention!
But who am I? Getting ****** in of there current life...are they dead or just not alive?

Existence is what they prize
Living is what I love, to love is what makes life my life is like night all black and the only light that comes in is the son behind me giving me light to see..

I'm tired of being second, but when did my strength have to do with what I do best?

"I rather be second and do my best then to second guess of who I am just to exist for there attention."
Sep 2014 · 220
Guess who's perfect
Mr Xelle Sep 2014
I saw the place where I was bound
I closed my eyes in regret..
Oh those words that I said
I swear I didn't mean it!

"Guess who's perfect"
"Guess who's perfect"

Those three words became my madness.
Sep 2014 · 416
Glimpse away
Mr Xelle Sep 2014
They will never be royal
And we won't ever be normal.

Cause they look for a title,
And we break all our idols.

Oh the pain of there succes,
Oh the healing of our downs.

Love is a battlefield for them,
Love is our gravity that keeps our feet on the ground.

Keep thy rod and they loose there place,
Sep 2014 · 529
I thirst.
Mr Xelle Sep 2014
I thirst water
I thirst for real.

My fake gets covered by corse joking still.

My thirst is stronger
For Elohim

I stay to ponder,
I'm on my heels..
Sep 2014 · 304
Locations
Mr Xelle Sep 2014
I gotta bed full of  wonders and and room full of silence.
Idont know why but it drives me crazy,
It's like I'm tired of this  place and I just wanna move out already..
I'm tired of earth
I'm sick with myself
My room is silent it never speaks what the hell?
And sense were talking bout hell that's the only place I don't wanna go.

My prayers is the only thing that talks to me in this room.

I'm ready to go
I'm ready to move
Is it cool if I was over there with you?
I'm really thinking now and I'm own the edge my chair,
I'm not looking but when that door open I'm out of here..
I just pray I'll be grounded and it will all work out for the best, that I won't be a nusense  but a brother something like a heir.
Sep 2014 · 250
September 1, 2014
Mr Xelle Sep 2014
Is this the faith of me?
Yes..
Thank you God I'll end this with amen.
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