9 years later
Your name still comes across my lips
9 years later
The small fights we had feel like yesterday
9 years later
I'm stoll looking for what we had

And though I know
It will never happen again
I still look for that fire

Not a spark or light
No the flame that burned my heart
And taught me how to warm a home

9 years later
I still recall that name you wished for a child
9 years later
I still think of you
9 years later
I hope your happy with with your wife

We chased a feeling
not a reality

We both wanted someone
So desperately
that we found each other

Even though no part of
us
worked

Our pieces didn’t fit together
so we pressed and jammed them
until they were stuck
and stayed that way
Until
we broke

-red flags

I went to the love of my life's wedding today

I listened to her say the words that i would never be able to say,
he was the object of the love that i craved.
she looked at him with the same affectionate eyes that i gazed,
he was the one hearing: "for the rest of my days".


i went to the love of my life's wedding today

She haunts my dreams
Stands right out of sight
There are times I swear I see her
But when I look, it's someone else
Not her

Her long flowly brown hair
They way her brown eyes could change
The natural beauty she has

Oh god how I wish I could go back
Go back when I had her in my arms
Go back to that moment
When she was mine

Please I want to relive it
One more moment
Please just let us have
One more moment

Because I don't want to settle for her shadow

"I miss you,
and I hate that I miss you
because I reread our google
because
because I deleted our messages
and that was so stupid of me to do
because I want them back
and I can't get them back"

Such pretty words
such a pretty face
but in the end
the truth cut harder
and stung a lot more

because I keep everything
even a voicemail you sent me
because I wanted to remember your voice

where you wished to forget me
when anger over took you

Funny when I think about it
that the words I type
hoping, praying you'll read
and make this a nightmare I'll wake from

are also the same words
I know you'll never read
because you don't dare look at my words
for fear I moved on
and you didn't