I went to the love of my life's wedding today

I listened to her say the words that i would never be able to say,
he was the object of the love that i craved.
she looked at him with the same affectionate eyes that i gazed,
he was the one hearing: "for the rest of my days".


i went to the love of my life's wedding today

She haunts my dreams
Stands right out of sight
There are times I swear I see her
But when I look, it's someone else
Not her

Her long flowly brown hair
They way her brown eyes could change
The natural beauty she has

Oh god how I wish I could go back
Go back when I had her in my arms
Go back to that moment
When she was mine

Please I want to relive it
One more moment
Please just let us have
One more moment

Because I don't want to settle for her shadow

"I miss you,
and I hate that I miss you
because I reread our google
because
because I deleted our messages
and that was so stupid of me to do
because I want them back
and I can't get them back"

Such pretty words
such a pretty face
but in the end
the truth cut harder
and stung a lot more

because I keep everything
even a voicemail you sent me
because I wanted to remember your voice

where you wished to forget me
when anger over took you

Funny when I think about it
that the words I type
hoping, praying you'll read
and make this a nightmare I'll wake from

are also the same words
I know you'll never read
because you don't dare look at my words
for fear I moved on
and you didn't

Funny
how one can be surrounded
and yet feel so alone

empty
when the voices in your head
just stop filling the silence

Misplaced
in understanding
what it is I should be doing

Unknown
when this confusion
will finally end

To see your creation
get denied its life

oh the frustration
of not knowing will happen
of the uncertainty of tomorrow

Oh the terror
my body is in
but I remind myself

this is just another, no
so now
watch me as I do what I want