Alexis K

Alexis K Jan 12

I'm sorry.
If it hurts you when I say
I don't want to be alive.
Or
I want to die.
I'm sorry if it hurts you.

I'm sorry if it hurts you.
But I'm more sorry that I don't care how much it does.
I can only focus on surviving my own hurt.

#depression

Alexis K Jan 11

Alone

It surprises me,
How often I'm alone.
How often I feel lonely.

Even with two partners.
Life won't just let me exist with them
He's on first shift.
I'm on second shift.
I get to tuck him into bed after work.
They work third shift.
He gets off work, I'm working.
They wake up and he's home.
They get the evening.
I get home and they're working.
I tuck him into bed for work in the morning.
And again I am alone.

They sleep during the day,
He works.
I am alone.
I'm tired of being alone too.

Alexis K Jan 9

Dear Life

I resign.
Sincerely ~ *******

Alexis K Jan 7

I cried

Today I cried.
I cried before work silently.
The tears raced down my cheeks.
Winners were licked off my lips.
My cheeks tightened, my eyes puffed.
Today I cried.
I cried at work silently.
Frustration making my lashes clump.
Heat coursed through my fingertips.
My eyes bloodshot then, tissues used.
I cried.

I cried because I'm so tired of existing. I don't choose to wake up, I just... do.

#depression #exhaustion #mentalillness #fatigue

Alexis K Jan 7

Lonely

Example: me

Alexis K Jan 6

Bridge pt2

I would love to write a beautiful piece,
On how death welcomed me.
The reality is I didn't have time.
My feet left the ground,
Wind in my hair,
And for a moment I felt finally free.
Then all that mattered was gravity.

Splat!

#suicide

Alexis K Jan 6

Bridge

Jump.
'I won't'
Jump.
'I shouldnt'
Jump.
'They'd miss me'
Jump!

Crack.

#suicide