I had a nightmare
And that was
Waking up to another nightmare
Trapped

       Can't get out sick feeling
         Gut rot everyone's dropping

coffee shop introvert
some  latte *******
on his ******* phone

grey sky February government town
hiding with bad tidings wearing government straight jacket gowns

i need a drink
i need a line
i need a heart attack
its not worth my time

i need a joint
i need my beer with lime
chock full oxy
ready to die (heads)
flip a dime

40 hours in
           a warm mu agonist blanket
       reminding you
                      the sunnyside sea serene
                     .. ...that everything everyone
      will be ok

like the last time it felt right
        to let someone

caked with wet empty dread
gnawing for moist marrow

i see white lies in your eyes boy (child)          clown with lobotomy ice picks
driven through (dripping)

he screams at me (crawling on ceiling)
the grand cosmic joke
no one's laughing (head turns)
ugly dead frozen little boy girl *****
(who is really the specimen)

i **** it (her) {him} [me]
raw till no longer can hear death rattle
raw sour note (bleeding)
bone chips

saw you eat me in my dreams
fried raw and ******
(my liver and onions get you drunk)

pounding some incessant f note
on **** little black dress keys
till dust till dusk till we do part

silly tell tale heart
only haven't buried me yet

yea ouroboros
a symbol of man's self destructive
drive

that's just how you see it
she says
bipolar

knocks me down
a few pegs
gets me off

i reply smokily
shut up *****
does she like that like some girls/boys
like the verbal abuse

we get slammed on whatever's around
chardonnay and those razor blades
(where do you buy those baby)
*** in our mix
really just another drug

i love you baby
she turns away

Lucidity is overrated
I'll die high and forgetting

sad clown always laughing joking
making fool out of self (how dare he)
speak to me thusly
as if i don't know
how funny the grand joke
the grand joke being me

anesthetic lines at parties
garish boost of self confidence
who was i in those days (liar)

scooping out the self
going in through the nose
when will these ulcers
eat through me
when will my heart
finally cease its cardiotoxic cardiac protest

they ate it up
me the humble pie
shat out cancerous colon

big empty words between gulps
russian standard my weapon in those days
but all the blow blown
and all the ***** ethanol *****
can't let you forget
it him you us
broken shattered thrown to the wind
seeds of our discontent