when i swallowed your pill
it scorched my throat
i couldn't swallow for a year

my voice was hoarse
i couldn't speak
and i realized my greatest fear

i decided not to revenge myself
no that's not my style
i concluded you needed my help
to relieve some earthly burdens for awhile

the next time you ask for a light
from the ranks of anonymity
i will belch fire per your request
into the general proximity

you won't have to wax your upper lip anymore
and those tweezers can be retired
just consider it a kind deed from a friend
no thanks required

you’ll be here tuesday
a stop on your tour
already calling your stragglers
to line up at your door

the obscene and depraved
they're coming out in droves
to bow at your feet
and **** on your toes

your new photos look expensive
it must have taken all the money you saved in those jars
they really did a great job
airbrushing out the scars

i hope you’ll have some time for me
don’t need much
lunch and some laughs like the old days
before you lost touch

we can go back to that Cuban place
where the waitress was so rude
it ****** you off when she inquired
why you are always with a different dude?

the look you gave her was precious
definitely instilled fear
also cost effective-
she didn’t charge us for the beers

do you remember when I caught that guy checking you out
and i asked him
Do you like what you see?

He said of course who wouldn't
But I'm married happily

But tonight when I embrace my wife
I will start a new trend
For it will be with a renewed vigor
As I envision your lady friend