I think I could lie in bed with you forever,
And still lose myself in your eyes every time you smile.

I could kiss you all day,and still need a good bye kiss when you leave.

God...

You're going to completely destroy me, aren't you?

Deep seamed with Heavy sorrow
Living life while edging death tomorrow,
Lying crying I feel like dying.
For Fighting with the Do or die
Lays the life of a suicide.

"The problem with suicide is that when it becomes an option in your mind, it's always an option."

Suicide, Suicide be my guide.
Show me if its time.
In my room.
These retched cries.
Hear me scream, hear me cry.
My thoughts that torture me.
The ones I hide.
Tattooed on my arms.
The scars of a thousand knives.
My tears have finally run dry.
As I cry, on this silent night.
Suicide, Suicide. be my guide.
Show me if its time.
To stay or to die.

Waves crashing, upon my heart,
All I've come to know, was ripped apart,
My clean arms, have bleeding scars,
My thoughts, have been butchered,
Emotions never ending, bottled up inside,
The screams you never hear, the ones I always hide,
In this lonesome room, yet another,
Suicide.

Rope.
You hung me from your neck and laughed at the choke.
At the blue.
At the fumble of breath.
Ownership.

And a month later, me telling you about the the others.
And the others.

And you- swinging. Blind. Crying.

And me. Laughing.
Teeth glinting in the dim light from the top of the basement stairs.
And the police, in all of their sirens and lights and urgency.
Saving the day saving the night saving lives.

And you- lying on the ground.
Help me, you say.
The police rush to you.

And the door- knives steady and deep in the wood.
My hands are stronger than they look.
My accuracy unmatched.

And me- handcuffed over the red spattering on my shirt,
being forced into the backseat.
"Who's blood is this?" They ask.
I am quiet. Cold. Stone.
I am laughing.
The darkness swallows me.

I am 18.
I have arterial spray on my cheek.

The officer asks for a reason.
A why. Why why why.
That's what they all want to know.
But I grind my teeth.
This car ride is boring me.

The handcuffs are loose, I slip my arm out of one.
I smile in the quiet of the backseat.
Life is too easy for me.

A November memory.

I need you, and that's what scares me.