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873 · Feb 2018
Dysphoria
I wake up everyday, fix myself up and put my binder on. I make sure i look masculine enough with my button up shirt and skinny jeans on.
I wish i was like all the other boys that walk down the hall at school. Flat chested, tall, fit, strong with a deep voice. But instead I'm a C cup, short, small with a squeaky voice and get called a lesbian all the time.
How do people go to the toilet in public, i start getting a panic attack just thinking about it.
I can’t even go a day without freaking out, because someone said ‘she’.
I look down at myself…
god why am i like this, why can’t i be normal.
I want a flat chest, so i don’t come home with aching ribs everyday, struggling to breathe.
I want a deep voice, so i don’t get called a 12 year old girl.
I want to be tall, so i don’t get pushed and shoved to the floor.
I want to be masculine so it doesn’t feel like I'm getting stabbed in the chest from being misgendered.
All the other guys i see walking down the halls at school, are proud and happy, they don’t get told “but you still look like a girl” or get called she, or the wrong name. So why can’t i be like them, perfect and handsome.
Why can’t i just be me and be happy..
Why..why..why..
-Tyler Miller
You say you loved me, i know you’re ******* lying .. you ignored me, you barely even answered me,  you ******* hurt me, you hit me.
You were never ******* good to me..
you never said it back, those three words.. I Love You..****
you were never honest to me.. I could do so much ******* better, I could do so much better than you.

you left me, you hurt me for months and months, you were never good to me, I cried over a bored, angry little ******* boy like you.
I don’t even think about you no more, I don’t want you no more.
I loved you so ******* much, you never loved me, all you did was hurt me, so *******, you price of ****
You were so toxic, you looked to attack me with my insecurities, throwing me to the ground..doing nothing but laughing as if it was all a ******* joke to you.
the doors where wide open, I could have left you, but I loved you so much I didn’t realise what you were doing to me, you were so toxic..
I’m sorry to the next boy you hurt, you manipulate.
I’m so so sorry, you don’t deserve this ungrateful, ******* of a man. I’m sorry.

You know what, I’m so glad you left me, even though I was so hurt, I was so lost. *******. I don’t deserve you. I can do so much better than you.

So that’s what I ******* did!

I have an amazing, beautiful, angel. A beautiful lady I call my girlfriend, and one day I will call my wife, the mother to MY children, that her and I will create. I am so so ******* happy with out you boy. You ******* *******.

— The End —