David Bowie’s voice was like a race car bed to me
To take me back in time, when we were only seventeen
Sprinklers in the summer air, my feet on muddy ground
Turn into ***** bottles as I scream without a sound

Rachel’s cabin in the woods was a race car bed to me
A lovely little paradise that brought so much to see
The outside world did not exist, when I was with you there
We kissed inside the living room with flowers in our hair

And now I find that there is not a race car bed for me
Nowhere else to turn to in my grand attempt to flee
Fears that hunt me down like prey have chained me here to die
A grown up bird, so limitless, but too afraid to fly

No one ached when I died
On a dusty August morning in the swelter of the sun
They buried me in blue jeans and my coffin had a crack
A chip along the edges matched the blood along the tracks

Family preceded me; there was no one left to cry
But a single solemn woman, hidden in the back
Shed a single shiny tear; and only one to be exact

No waterfalls or bowing heads, no crowd to see me go
No burning candle vigils and no midnight serenade
I marched the gates of life and death, alone but unafraid

No one ached when I died
No questions or suspicions from the folks around the town
There were no weeping faces or a grand old death parade
Just a digger and a preacher; lowered slowly in the grave

I thought it was written in the smoke
That extinguished all our jokes
Filling air as we both choke
On the firing line

And when it was seven until
I headed out west for the hill
And I threw up those pills
Without saying goodbye

But still I will always return
Like I want to get burned
In a love I’ve unearned
For the rest of our time

I thought it was written on the wall
That had cushioned my fall
From the blowback assault
From the one wanting you

And when I gave up on the bridge
I remembered your kiss
And I swore off that *****
As I stumbled away

Don’t you dare try to tell me
You love me now
For when I was starving
The world was your table
And for when I was sleeping
The world was your bed

Don’t tell me what you’d change
You say you’d beg
I guess that’s too bad
Nobody calls you anymore
Tell me how it feels to know
The thunder breaks your back tonight

Love me forever, babe
One day you’ll sing me your song
Bring me your comfort
Even if you know it’s wrong

Seasons roll past me
Like red-colored daisies in song
I spent my life trying
To figure out where it went wrong

If you touch my heart
Then I’d gladly step in from the cold
If you lay there sleeping
Then one day I’ll carry you home

We sleep through the day
Like lovers, we drift through the night
I’m never that broken
I’m dimmed but I’m searching for light

Dreams seem to call me
I think but I can’t figure why
I’m never too lonely
But sometimes I wonder to die

The road, she is winding
And some people just need a friend
The pillow, is cold now
And you’re resting out on the wind

Love comes and goes
But this is my most bitter end
They wanted your body
But I just wanted a friend

Lexie’s door is open
But she’s holding all the lines
Not everything is broken
But she covers up the lies

Lexie’s walking to me
She says she loves me more
Her words are cold and callous
But her arms and legs are warm

She stings me like a hornet
But somehow I keep calling
Her bed is made of roses
That came from other coffins

I’m not saying that I miss you
But I’m sad enough to care
And I’m not saying that I’m sorry
But regrets are everywhere

There’s a lot that I can’t say
On what you put me through
I can’t forgive you anyway
It’s not the smartest thing to do

But I’m flying like a bird now
And there’s not much I can do
You’re hanging on a broken rope
And I’m a-hanging onto you

You’ve broken me and used me
But I can only blame myself
You’re not who you used to be
And I guess I’m not compelled

It’s so **** hard to know you
When to know you is to love
But it’s been too much to see you
I just hope you got enough

You and I went walking down the road to his café
Counting empty houses
Feeling like two louses in the neck of a sparrow

And I continued on when someone called for you
Pacing through the seconds in a chore
I watched you fall to pieces that July
Leaving in my clothes that you’d outworn

We had crossed the Platte River
The end of December
The heater was broken; we shivered inside
I crossed into Denver the moment he died

The doctor told you what you knew all along
And you told me in Walmart up by Castle Rock
My heart; it erupted; I spun you around
While locals with pitchforks said we were clowns

But I ran out of money by November
I took up busy work by tending to the bar
Just outside the city; on a gravel country road
We took to the shelter when the weather got too cold

And soon, the money was coming in
Salt was selling faster than Beyoncé
I took us out to dances; put a lien on a home
You were feeling golden; we could finally be alone

Habits die hard under diamonds of pressure
Wishing I had checked out when you came
The VA wasn’t kind to me; I wasn’t kind to him
Nearly drank myself to death at Vicky’s Bar

Finally we ended up where we were all along
Your mother tried to tell you we were wrong
I came back home to care for him and stay
You started to grow restless and uneasy

I was waiting for you at the top of the stair
You slowly said goodbye
I was never really one to ask you why.

What I’d give to be with you
In Paris, 1921
Before the Nazis came along
Before my bones grew weak and old
I could call up my big brother
And fantasize about the life ahead of me
Where I meet you by the fountain
Near the Arc de Triomphe
Melting in a slowly setting sun
In Paris, 1921

Instead I sit and wait on you
In Cardiff, 1954
Counting splinters by the shiver
Live-rotting in march to decay
Still I search for the evidence
The stars in the sky died a decade ago
And took the Father with them
Leaving half of us in shame
So I curse an emptied hollow world
In Cardiff, 1954

The view is nice from my hotel
In London, 1981
Wilted and tethered away
My bones a rotten ogre
I can look out from my window
At the dying English light on a sultry winter
Wondering where the widows go
And if they can sleep at night
Chasing down a ghost I can’t outrun
In London, 1981