sorry i made you walk
when i promised roses
and i'm sorry i talked
about things that were pointless

you don't make me nervous
you've only made me anxious
that i'll **** up if your eyes
turn silver when you melt

don't fall for me
i'll be your regret

i warned you a thousand times,
spelled it out for you on the fridge
that i am not right, a little too bruised.
but you just smiled and asked
for me to do the same to you.

“Depression is feeling like you’ve lost something but having no clue when or where you last had it. Then one day you realize what you lost is yourself.”

I think I’m losing myself

don’t know what choice to make

I can feel myself drifting

with every little step, I take

it’s getting harder to focus

and harder to concentrate

just hoping someone pulls me back

before it becomes too late

and I’m completely lost

or I’ve drifted too far away…

I just want to feel connected!

I just want to FEEL, okay?!

(Verse 1)
Help me
I can't carry on like this
oh darling, without you
I've lost my purpose
when I was with you
it was like the stars had found their shine
I just don't know what I 'ma do without you in my life

(Verse 2)
I trusted you
with all my broken pieces
but you took my heart and left me
all alone and speechless
You gave me all theses promises
said you wouldn't let me hurt no more
but you took those pretty lies of yours
and walked right out the door...

(Chorus)
Still, here I am...
crying on my knees
feeling so ashamed of
all my desperate pleas
you'd already made your mind up
but i still begged you helplessly
baby darling please please please...
don't walk away from me

(Verse 3)
I can't breathe
feels like i'm drowning all the time
all the signs that you were sending
made me believe that you were mine
it's like you were the fire and i was the moth
I couldn't help but be drawn in
time after time I said I wouldn't get burnt
but here I am again...

(Chorus)
Still, here I am...
crying on my knees
feeling so ashamed of
all my desperate pleas
you'd already made your mind up
but i still begged you helplessly
baby darling please please please...
don't walk away from me...

(Bridge... I think?)
oh.. i'm broken
down crying
yeah, my tears are falling like rain
you don't want me
but I want you
and that's what's causing me this pain
Oh I brought you flowers
gave you all my hours
but you still backed up all your things
and even though i begged you...
begged you not to leave
you still walked away from me...

No one ever understands what I mean when I say it's almost as if I can control my emotions
I could stop being sad, if it didnt feel like I had forced a hundred rocks down my esophagus
I could stop being angry if my blood itself wasn't rushing like a stampede of buffalo
I could stop all the feelings if my brain didnt yearn to express them
The worst is repressing happiness
Stopping the happy chemical feels like a strand of fairy lights going out
I've only done it once
It wasnt like holding back anger or sadness
Not suffocating
Just blank
So as cool as being able to control your feelings is, it's no fun if it hurts
Perhaps it's just better to let them run their course

I don't have the words
Your words
The words that bring me to tears
The words that comfort me more than the man of the ocean's melody
It's absurd
How I can have all these complexities within me
Only for them to be swept away when I try to convey them
I long for your way with words
The ability to speak in an impacting way
Forgive my sense of inferiority, friend
I know you hate pedestals
But I could never envision myself atop one either

I'm drowning in the newfound freedom of returning to the words I once left behind
The words allow me to sink further into my mind
The words embrace me like an old friend
The words comfort me when I cannot run to a past lover
When I cannot cry on my friends shoulder because he is more troubled than I
Cover me in my blanket of words
Let me rest
Let me only be woken by one that could console me in a more pleasant manner