How alone is a coin
Thrown in a vast ocean?

In a tailspin of currents and waves
The coin has been haplessly led
Trembling and spinning restlessly
The coin sinks down to the ocean bed

Paddling its boundaries
The coin screams and yells.
But no one arrives,
No effort seems to help

Sinking deep into the dark, the coin smashes its head
On the rocky ocean bed
The coin wonders, will I rust forever or will I rise
Will I live again or will I lay here forever like dead?

How alone is a coin
Thrown in a vast ocean?

I am that coin.
Alone.

I thought
There was someone
Who will be there for me

Only when I
Destroyed myself loving him
That I came to know
That no one was really
There for me
Even before him

He was an illusion
That came in my life
To let me see

That,

I am
All alone
In this world

No one is bad
It’s their wounds
That makes them so.
No one is bad
No one is.

Like romance of fire
They keep on burning
All those who love them
Taking pleasure in their wounds

Every likes to receive love
It’s their fear of vulnerability
That stops them from receiving so
Every likes to receive love
But not everyone is open to.

Just this morning
I woke up before the sleepy sun
The broom of chill wintery breeze
Washing away dry leaves in dozens

Just this morning
I dipped my feet in water warm
The brushstrokes of tap water
Massaging my toenail and the veins on my feet

Just this morning
I remembered someone who left me long ago
His memories vibrating inside me
At times, rolling down from my cheeks

Like beak of a woodpecker
His memories keep on tapping me
Nibbling me from inside
And chipping away my bones
Into powder slowly and slowly.

I die each day
I give up daily
I wake up each day
And I fight daily

With suffocations rumbling inside
And infections of demons dark
Each day I wrestle to hold on to life
Holding onto just one little spark.

Floating helplessly in an unknown dizziness
I hold on tight just not to cross the line
‘It’s okay’, I tell my heart ‘cause it is fighting
The battles that are not even mine.

Just one more day,
It’s not over yet
It is all hiding within me
I guarantee. I bet.

I give up daily
I die each day
But I believe, I have faith
That at the end of tunnel, there is a ray.

He was cruel like an animal
He dragged me endlessly
Into a jungle full of thorns and wild animals
The jungle is now painted in my blood red.
Find me, and fill me with blood again.

I gave him my hand
When he was in a well deep and dark
He held my hand
And pushed me far in a well deeper and darker.
Find me, and show me the light again.

With lashes of trickeries, he ripped off my skin
My pain was his food
I will never be a doormat again
Even if he shows his good
Find me, and show me how to love myself.