You're alive, but are you really living?

You have your head wrapped around your phone. You burry your face in your pillow every night, thinking about every problem you have to face the next morning. You're facing yourself in the mirror wondering how in the world you will cover that humungous blemish that made itself at home in the middle of your forehead.

Now, let me ask why.
Why do trivial things like this matter?

They don't.

In those precious moments, you have missed so many great things...

You were too busy on your phone to see the way the sun rises so beautifully in your bedroom window. You were so caught up in your own problems that you forgot to look around and see all the problems the world has solved. You were so entranced in the mirror, focusing on that blemish that you failed to notice your beauty, your self worth.

Now, let me ask you again.
You're alive, but are you really living?

You wrote our story on my skin with your fingertips, except our story wasnt gentle. It was full of cuts and bruises and that's why I have so many scars



                                B.S.

I never felt good enough , always alone

No matter what I tried
I saw contempt in your eyes

You fed from my depression
It seemed to be your obsession

When I am gone will you think of what was wrong
Will you see how your lies fed my goodbye
OR will I still take the blame and not tarnish your name

Don't cry for my death as I cried all my life

It never bothered you to see my pain
So do not mourn me the same

I take leave of life or what it was suppose to be
Tumbling into the darkness ..

~forever always alone

Lofty scribbles of madness enchanted
On long trips to nowhere, leave me
Helpless, without care.
How dare I? How dare We?
Jump gleefully while suffering hangs in the air blatantly?
It’s Fate, You see.
The smile on my face has never been fake
and it would be quite the task to undertake
Take a deep breath, you know you can’t keep it.
Release it, don’t plead for it to stay or Return because
It Can’t. And It Won’t.
One moment to the next, no chance to recant
But you may take a step back and observe
What once ignored, finally Heard
From a different perspective
In Retrospect:
The water is Calm.
But as for now?
The Storm rages on.

sometimes the feelings
(those lonely and somber dealings)
just make it seem like i am dreaming

the sky floats all around us
(making us look so superfluous)
and it twists around in our guts

we tell ourselves to stay strong
(not without wrong)
but really we are just stuck in a pretty song

It's not the fact that I don't wanna be loved.
It's the simple fact that I'm scared to love.
"I don't wanna get attached to anybody"
Constantly reminding myself daily of what you said
Every time I feel the need to fall for you deeper, it tunnels my vision.  years, months, hours spent crying trying to forgive the one I still talk to till this day
Trust issues that I still hhave today.
Hours , Minutes , seconds, it took for me to like you
when it took you weeks to recognize me,
The sentences you say and the way you look at me , reminds me of why I only want you.
Too early to catch feelings but I know one day they'll leave
Not because of you messing up, just because my heart blocks anything that wants to care for me.

Several years spent and wasted because of the pain from several broken hearts
Leaving me heartless & cold, mostly giving up hope
Looking me in my eyes made me feel weak and worthless.
But don't stop. I don't want you to
It makes me feel so good & as if youre really happy to be around me.
Suffering from the shift of my mindset,
I feel as if you'll leave and never look back.

Reason why I don't want to **** yet.
It'll make me fall for you & get attached.
Scared I'll become too sensitive for you to handle, and you'll leave.
Why do I feel that you're only doing this Because I won't leave .
Get what You want then you'll leave.
Make me fall in love then you'll leave.
Care for me but then leave.
Like you're only doing this because I want you too, like you did for your ex.

I want you to keep it real with me
Regardless of the curiousity that weakens your mind wondering if it's going to make me upset.
Maybe I've been craving this attention for so long that I rush the process .
Get one . Then leave. & wonder who's next?
But be upset when you find someone better & move on
Just don't wanna get heartbroken playing in this game of "love"

Not even love. Just the subject of feelings
Just don't want to lose you because of me overthinking.
Reason why I'm scared to talk to you about what's on my mind .
I think I'm feeling you more than you're feeling me.
I don't wanna rush you into anything you're not ready for
It's just I'd rather you stop it now , instead of putting me through the stuff I've been through before.

But then again I got to the point where I don't wanna see you with anyone else .
When you wrap your arms around me, it's make me feel as if I have worth.
Then when you kiss me, it makes me want to be with you even more.
Then how you talk to me & play around with me makes it so much better.

You're just so perfect .
Your smile. Face. Hair. Body. Personality.
When you ask me if I can make my knees touch my elbows lol
Or when you tell me how beautiful my smile is.
You make me so happy.
I just wanna enjoy it while I can,
Before everything comes to an end .

pink lips do invite
the rod of love penetrates
rainbow kisses mix