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The Lioness Sep 2018
I see you,
As I walk my beat.
The soul who's life as been so rough
You've turned to drugs to cope.
I see you over dosing on the corner.
I call for help as you become a pulseless, nonbreather,
I start hands only CPR.
As they dispatch help.
Please don't give up.
There's so much more to life.
I give it my all as I hear the sirens blare in the night.
But help comes to late.
I stand in shock.
I give my statement.
I finish my shift and go home to cry.

I see you,
The guy trying to **** me because I wear a badge and a gun.
Please don't make me shoot you.
I just want to go home at night.
Shoots fired, shoots fired.
He's down, I gave him five warnings,
“show me your hands.”
I didn't want to.
Really I didn't.

I see you,
The guys that ***** me.
I see you
You forced my hand.
I can't walk the streets unarmed.
You messed with my head,
And got away with it.

The nightmares come.
I see them.
I want them to stop.
I'm so numb now.
I cut myself to feel again.
I see the scars.
I cover them.
Others cannot know I'm weak.
They look up to me.

The horrors I see.
Will they ever stop?
Working in security I've seen many things. Theses are only a few that have stuck with me.
The Lioness Sep 2018
The demons rage.
The highs.
The lows.

The rage, the urge to fight.
The feeling of being a burden,
why am I still here?
Why can't I give up?

The high, its coming back,
I can't give up.
There are so many people that need my help.
I have to prove those that have hurt me
that I am so much more.

The high its going higher.
I haven't slept in days.
Why must I become the evil
That I fight.
Why do I find so much glee
in causing mayhem?
Why do I fight the very people I want to become?

Oh no, here comes the crash.
The remorse, the guilt.
I'm sorry for everything.
Please just let me die.
I fall behind in homework.
The scars grow in numbers again.
I can't, I won't fight back.
Please just leave me alone.

Some how I put on my uniform.
I strap myself into my bullet proof vest.
I buckle my duty belt.
I check my gun, my pepper spray, my handcuffs.
Knowing that if something happens,
even though I want to die,
evil cannot win.
I will fight.
I wish those weapons would fight the demons inside me.

Instead I take my pills.
I pull on my boots.
Polish my badge and name tag.
I get in my squad.
I go protect the people at my post.

The demon is back.
I'm feeling restless.
Will it ever stop?
These are some of the feelings i deal with

— The End —