The world around us is burning

But still, we’re so cold

My thoughts are so concerning

Don’t think for yourself, do as you’re told

That’s what they want, indoctrination

I’m diverting from my lane, seeking salvation

From all of these lies,

Anyone that steps out of line dies

You don’t stop breathing

You’re just left bleeding

Don’t give in to the oppression

You just need a confession

To show them the progression of this session

My depression’s aggression is terrifying

Makes me give in, makes me stop trying

Trying to cure myself from this idea

That I’m alone, and nobody loves me



The sun scorches us all

Some of us stay down, others stand tall

Fighting this intense burning sensation

Some of us are confused, 
Others full of concentration

To finish what we started, and that’s life

I don’t care how much it hurts, I’ll survive

Even if all around me burns

I’ll stand tall, even when the sun returns



My head, it’s on fire

You’re a poser, you’re a liar

Because you just can’t see

See past this broken face,

It’s supposed to be me

But I’m not too sure it still is

I don’t like that face of his

It’s sad, angry and he seems confused

And then when finally offered help, he refused

That can’t be me, I’m smarter than that

See what I’m getting at?

This’ll change you

Whether you want to or not

Even more so if you battled and fought


All that’s left is ashes

All that’s left is flashes

Those of the past, almost making me smile

Those visions, they almost make it worthwhile

The happy moments, they’re fading away

They’re all I have left, please stay

In this apocalyptic environment, all is burnt

To be honest we deserved this,
It is earned



Please soak my head in water,

Please drown out this demon

All I’ve been doing is screaming

I’m so cold, so hot, I don’t know what I feel

I’m starting to doubt whether this is real

Maybe they were right, maybe I’m a liar

Maybe I’ll just embrace this open fire

The fire, the one impossible to control

Stuck behind a door, one without a keyhole

Inhaling all the toxic smoke,

And probably my last words I spoke

“For now my demon has consumed me.”

I crash to the ground, at last I’m free

Never wanted to die

Travel up to the heavenly sky

I wanted to be happy here

But that’s impossible, so I disappear



I walk across the frozen road

My forehead hot, seeming to implode

These conflicts in my mind,

I wonder if it’s the same for all of mankind

These doubts, this extreme and constant fear

At least right now I’m being sincere

Want to know how I feel?

It’s right here

Dig a little deeper and it’s crystal clear



All that’s left is ashes

All that’s left is flashes

Those of the past, almost making me smile

Those visions, they almost make it worthwhile

The happy moments, they’re fading away

They’re all I have left, please stay

In this apocalyptic environment, all is burnt

To be honest I deserved this,

It is no less than I earned



The feeling of dread that washes over me

It’s refreshing, at least it would be

If it hadn’t been the same for all this time

Keep getting stuck, don’t know how to rhyme

I just want to tell you of this burning sensation

Without all this hassle, it’s like a cremation

But for now I hide in symbolism and wordplay

Maybe someday I’ll truly explain it all,

Okay?

We need to talk
You need to listen
Because my mind is crushing my ambition
And I know for a fact,
That I'm not alone,
My mind's not intact,
It's missing the ozone
Because it's not protected,
If that wasn't clear
My ambition is rejected
And only fear's to appear

I used to be so full of life
Loving everything, lots of friends
And now all I wanna do is take a knife
To cut out the darkness, trying to make amends
And now my motivation is going on a trip,
I'm not sure where it went, maybe it's somewhere on a cruise ship
I just know that it isn't here,
In my heart, my head or at all near
My ambition is killed, it's been murdered,
Now how am I supposed to be determined
To find my purpose, find a goal,
My brain's not really working, at least not as a whole

The fusebox is really old, that electrician spoke,
But I've just moved in! That's not possible, is it broke?
The man nodded "Yes." And I seemed confused,
Then what do I have left? It's the only thing I've used.
It's supposed to help me, not hold me back
Because the root of this issue
That simultaneously doesn't know how to continue
It the thing that's writing these words
It's being chased by demons, in herds
I think it's trying it's best, trying to fix me
But it's what caused it in the first place, so trying? Hardly.

My frenemy is holding me captive,
I've wanted to escape but the outside world is unattractive
It's not that bad, my friend keeps me alive
Since when is that enough, simply to survive?
My enemy is caging me, I'm screaming to get out
Why's he even doing this, what's it all about?
Maybe I'll just stay here, it's safe right here
Maybe I'll just break out and run away, completely disappear

I’ve been taken captive,

I’m completely losing it, used to be so adaptive

A dark black room, trapped on enemy soil

Struggling against the rope around my wrists 

As they completely drench me in motor oil

No just slit my throat, I’m begging you

I did nothing wrong you don’t have to go through

With this, and a no-faced man smirks

“You and I both know that that’s simply not how this works.”

He holds up a lit match and asks “Any final words?”

“Yes, knowing what I’ve been through there’s no way this hurts.”

The man looks confused, angry that I don’t seem scared

He instead takes out a wrench, hits me on the back of my head

My skull cracks and opens, leaking out the thoughts,

Thank you for saving me from them, now hit a few more spots



Nobody will come for me, I know that to be true

I’ll just put up my hands, give them my gun too

Nobody must know, I simply can not tell
That I never wore a parachute, oh how far I fell

I went in completely blind, they all shot at my head

I closed my eyes and waited, this is it I’m dead

But whether I stay here or not, must not be my choice

For something protected me, I even heard a voice

We’re not done with you yet, much torture awaits

The torture’s only mental, around my brain hang weights

Slowing me down, preventing me from looking ahead

At my path, I only look down until I spread

Words of lies of how I’m doing well

Words of truth of the 24/7 alarm bell

Inside of my head, my ears they hurt

I don’t know should I just desert

I think about betraying my mind,

My only friend, the only one kind

The one that cares, although he’s ill

These feelings- how can they even be real?

It makes no sense, it’s so illogical

But these problems are nothing but psychological

They throw my vessel into the bin,

Treating my carriage like it’s nothing

It’s carried me my whole short life

Even though not always perfect, struggled against the knife

It was there for me, hurting as it did
And now it’s only a shell, I’m completely off the grid

At least the torture ends, 

For both me and my good friend

Those lobes have been through hell, 
the ones that help me think, 
Because of how far I fell,

But now I have a personal Kitchen Sink


Which makes it okay, there’s purpose

And what I’ve written, it may be worthless

Scream my mind out, it might be wordless

It’s what I want, no- what I need
The first one ever, my first thoughtful deed

Think about your thoughts,

You’ve thought about the process of thinking

I’m writing this with one hand,

The other making sure I’m not sinking

Even deeper down this well, which goes on for eternity

Maybe I could drown in here

Do I want to? Certainly


My body they take home, place me into a closed coffin

Nobody dares look- not because of the injury

My eyes they still convey the utter and complete misery

That they showed all those years,

Together with this list of fears,

I know that they knew

Never spoke though, it’s true

They quickly put me down into the cold ground

Open my eyes, stopped by a black hound

His owner right there, red eyes and a smirk

Thought you’d get rid of me that easy,

No, only now you can watch me work

He points me to a door, that somehow holds my mind

I look around, begging for help. I’ve been left behind.
Nobody is there, I’m down here with the demon
I wanted to be up there, live in the perfect world

My second life narrated by- you guessed it, Morgan Freeman

But I’m not up there, no I’m down

What a surprise, I’ve never left this part of town

The battle is over, I’m stuck here again

I was used to this already, but my last hope was in vain


I finally wonder if I leave

..Would anyone grieve?

I’m depressed

I feel this constant pressure on my chest

Like I’m unable to exhale,

My body is starting to fail

My head is spinning,

My ears are ringing,

What is wrong?

I wish I knew

I’m feeling so blue.



Feeling blue, seeing blue

What does it sound like?

I don’t have a clue

I wish I was synesthetic

My ambitions, they’re so pathetic

Just want to somehow understand

Life is so bland, barely able to even stand

I am desperate for a sensation, anything

But instead my mind’s abandoning

Everything, my personality

It’s reaching its fatality

This abnormality in my mentality

Is eating me from within

Maybe I’ll just let it win

I just want to feel special

I just want to feel normal

I just want to feel.



I breathe, yet I’m not alive

Still going but I barely survive

I see, yet I’m blind

I keep fighting with my mind

I touch, yet I don’t feel

Barely even recognize what is real

I hang out in my mind all day,

The only place I find a way

A way to cope, but still suffer

I really need to find a new way to discover

How I need to handle this,

My brain shouldn’t be down in this abyss



I feel like I’m alone at sea

Completely isolated, nobody’s looking for me

The sky, the water, my mind- all blue

I don’t understand what I ever did to You

To deserve this kind of torture,

No lesson to be learned

“Oh no, I’m fine- no need to be concerned.”

It’s like it’s impossible to speak about,

I lie as if I expect a drought

Concerning the entire ocean

The only way I’ll ever get away,

Away from my emotion



I’m depressed

I feel this constant pressure on my chest

Like I’m unable to inhale,

My body is starting to fail

My head is ringing,

My eyes are spinning, 

What is wrong?

I wish I knew

I’m feeling so blue.



I’ll keep swimming, not yet seeing a horizon

I know this is ridiculous, but help me please Poseidon

Just help me out, nobody else will

Only one request you need to fulfill

Let me live, don’t swallow me whole

At least don’t eat away at my soul

I keep fighting through these waves

Slowly passing all these graves

Of the ones that fought before me

Wait, impossible, I finally see

A figure above the water,

A hand reaching out to the author

He wants to take it, more than anything

But he stops, and lets himself sink

To the bottom of the mighty sea

In a moment he’ll finally be free



The water fills his lungs, 
It’s time to say goodbye 

At least like this you can’t see him cry

Instead a sigh is all you’ll ever see

As he drowns, leaving like a nobody

Not a single soul will miss him

And not a single soul he’ll miss

That’s a lie- he only left the abyss

He leaves with regret, hating this choice

He’ll never hear another voice

Never hear anything anymore

Now he reaches the ocean floor

He’ll lay there forever

He’s still here,
This wasn’t clever whatsoever

Please just shut down for good,
Come on, you really should

Rid me of the pain, the lack of colour

Rid me of all of it, brother



For now I just lay here, in this blue abyss.

Hearing nothing, the only sound I dismiss

It’s that of my heartbeat, I despise it

But somehow I’m glad too, 
I have to admit.

I pick myself up, barely able

To stay on my feet, my legs are unstable

I’ve had an accident, I’m rehabilitating

Everyone must think I am exaggerating

But I’m not, I struggle but because you can’t see

The pain I’m in, oh I’d be

So happy to be rid of the torment

But instead I once more descend to some extent

How frequent is this event meant to prevent,

My freedom as a human being?

I’m not arguing, I already know we’re not agreeing

I’ve given up on that, you just don’t understand



Let it be said, what this accident represents

It’s just as real as all these events,

That people tend to empathize with

But I speak of something different, call me a wordsmith

I’m speaking of a ruthless embodiment of darkness

Anything but harmless

To be clear; to let this come across

We’re talking about my depressing thoughts

They just won’t let me sleep

Desperately yelling it’s something I need

To beat this evil I must keep

Living, simply living

Living until I fall asleep



Just as my knees stop trembling

I smile to myself, but I keep questioning

Will my legs hold me up, even if I go forth?

I take my first step,

I’m blocked by a wall of some sort

In the middle of the street,

Can’t turn back or go on, so I plead

Please, help, I can’t walk anymore

A car runs into me, I fly through the air

And then crash to the floor

My mind fills back up with despair



I wake up in the ER

I can’t feel either legs

Again, this invisible car?

It struck me again

And no I don’t feign

Any of this horrible pain

Even though my legs are still here

They don’t work anymore, 

How is that not clear?

Please see through the surface

Because I’m searching for a purpose

To not give up, to not give in

But where do I begin?

Maybe I’ll need some crutches at first

But I want to get rid of the pain

Because that’s the worst



I find these self-driving cars so scary

All these people if they’re not weary

Stop when told to do so,

Not when they want to, no

We’re not thinking straight

We want to prevent accidents

But it all comes down to fate

I’ve never been reckless,

But my mind has left me breathless

It’s a hard hit, and it echoes through the brain

All this pain is mainly to blame

Please just drain every grain of agony

From my body, its now actually

Simply a fantasy

To live a stable, happy life

All I’ve been doing is barely survive



It’s in the paper, another casualty

He was still so young, the man says casually

But it’s a dangerous road he wandered

The opportunity of happiness he squandered

But as the man takes a closer look at that boy

He’s not alive, but he looks to be filled with joy

A smile on his face that nobody could erase

It’s the first time the boy had smiled

The last time was when he was a child

But now the pain is gone

And a trail of blood is drawn

On the road



So please, help me off this road

For I don’t want another car to be towed

I’m determined to keep walking,

But I need help, even if it’s only talking

Reach out to me, please

I’m unable to,

The street

It sticks like glue
 to my feet

Maybe I need to accept it

Embrace this fatal fate of mine

There’s only one way for this to end

I know there is,

It’s dying

I can’t see, I try but I can’t

Without all those colours, life is bland

Everything has turned to grey

From happiness to dismay

In the blink of an eye

Time to say goodbye

To your perfect little life

It’s turned into a struggle to survive

But my problem is my head

Not those two eyes of mine

I think my brain is dead

My eyes are working just fine


I envy those around me

Enjoying their lives, being free

Whilst I’m trapped in a grey environment

All dark, blurry and violent

Streams of tears trickle down my face

Are those tears or is it blood?

I should check, just in case

For I can’t distinguish one from the other

Then how am I ever to discover?



I’m full of open gashes

They hurt and I see flashes

Of my past, catching up to me

Leave me alone, I desperately plead

The present is still haunting my body

The future looks the same, a carbon copy

Full of hate, despair and depression

Introspection is the name of this session

Please don’t use discretion for your self-expression

Not a single concession it’s your possession

Say no to oppression, no to suppression

For you have to help yourself here

It’s a difficult road to get rid of the fear

To be free from the the thought

The one that your depression brought

The one occupying all of your brain

Screaming “YOU’RE NOTHING, YOU’RE INSANE!”

You’re stronger than that,

Please just have a little chat

About your issues, with anyone you trust

Your problems will decrease when discussed

Don’t stay colourblind, 
There’s too much you’re missing

Open up to people, don’t stay hidden


Depression is colourblind too

No matter how you look, it’ll find you

Do you know how long it look

For me to discover what was wrong?

Way longer than I could stay strong

But I figured it out, no I haven’t

I preach this advice, but my mind is still absent

Still struggling, but I think I know what to do

How to actually fix this, oh I wish I knew

It’s certainly hard, it’s a struggle

Chucking around all these emotions

Don’t even know how to juggle
I let them all fall, they crack and break
Don’t have emotions anymore,

All I do is fake


I envy those around me

Enjoying their lives, being free

Whilst I’m trapped in a grey environment

All dark, blurry and violent

Streams of tears trickle down my face

Are those tears or is it blood?

I should check, just in case

For I can’t distinguish one from the other

Then how am I ever to discover?

What I feel like

Who I am

This whole thing called life is a scam

It’s not what they told me it’d be

Or is it too soon, when will I be free?

When will I see colours, I don’t understand

They ask about my favourite colour, I pretend

“Oh it’s blue, or red or something..”

I know it’s wrong, I feel disgusting



I shouldn’t lie, I need to speak

As life keeps looking bleak

Don’t know how long I’ll survive

Not just pretend to live a life

I want to enjoy, laugh and discover

Not having to recover

From thinking for too long

That’s just what is wrong

I’m sick, so sick

From myself I’m so thick

I know what is wrong, but assistance?

I’d rather have some distance

Settled on coexistence

Gave up any persistence or resistance

Along the way,

The cost is that everything stays grey

Everything tastes the same

I claim I’m not to blame

I live in shame, 

Seeing who I became



I became weak, a grey character

Not knowing if I’m good or bad

Doesn’t matter, not a competitor

Simply breathing, going mad

It’ll be alright, it’ll sort itself out

Keep telling yourself that friend

As you drown in this drought

Of emotions

I used to,
live in a grand place
Barely fit through the door
Anything but a maze,
And now I’m trapped in a mansion
Tiny and complicated
Beyond my comprehension

Want to go back to those good old days
Where every corridor opened up some crazy new ways,
To see, view the world from a completely different perspective
Oh boy now all the walls are reflective
Seeing my own faces in each one,
Wait, was that me and why is my face gone?

Now I’m in front of a locked door,
Snapping my leg as I try to break through,
Everytime I break through, there’s more,
The floor shrinks, the roof collapses
The walls they’re about to give in
I’m tryna push through but it’s solid brick
I don’t know,
Maybe I’m just claustrofobic

How strange is it,
This lock seems counterfeit,
But it’s still keeping me trapped in here,
For minutes, hours on end
Maybe it’s a lot longer,
I just can’t comprehend

How is this real,
Can you see, touch, or feel?
No I can’t, so don’t worry here my friend,
Just smile, and it’ll all be great in the end
Even though this end may,
Come sooner than you thought?
Don’t try to comprehend what you can’t understand,
my friend

This isn’t working
By brain is just hurting
Confined to a small space
I just can’t function, like this
The representation of who you think me to be is what keeps me on my own four feet
But is it really just me or is there something else,
Torturing me,
Screaming at me,
Forcing me into the corner
My heart keeps shrinking
Barely know what I’m missing
Anymore, I think I’ll get used to my
Little apartment behind my face
And above my throat

I used to,
live in a grand place
Barely fit through the door
Anything but a maze,
And now I’m trapped in a mansion
Tiny and complicated
Beyond my comprehension

I thought maybe I could just move out
Of this place, out of my brain, take a break from this race with my other face
He is too fast for me,
But he’s just a mirage,
I’m the real me, not just a disguise,
So maybe I’ll let him win,
So he’ll reach the end before me,
and dematerialize
Leaving me with half a brain,
Just one face
And we, I mean I, will survive as I look through one eye and see him,
Already nearing the finish line
My disguise

How is this real,
Can you see, touch, or feel?
No I can’t, so don’t worry at all my friend,
Just smile, and it’ll be great in the end
Even though this end may,
Come sooner than you thought?
Don’t try to comprehend what you can’t understand,
my friend

Don’t try to comprehend, good friend

I thought it was still daytime,
But now it’s 3 A.M.,
The only part still working?
I think it is my brain stem
The rest is all a mess,
I just have to confess
I’m really scared of the dark,
And I know it’s trying to suppress,
The light.

The dopamine
And serotonine,
To keep it very simple
They’re just being awful, mean
My brain is waging war on me,
And now it’s way past 3,
It’s difficult to tell,
All I know is that I dwell,
Dwell in my own dark mind,
The place that I’m assigned,
Is the worst I could’ve gotten
Can’t see a thing, was I forgotten?
Did they just turn off the light
While I’m still present?
Or did my brain just flick the light switch
without my consent?

I’m walking on my own,
Walking through the dark,
I just need a light switch,
Or maybe just a spark,
To reset my heart, reset my mind,
I don’t think it can hurt,
Anymore than right now as I desert,
Everything and everyone I know,
Curing yourself feels like trying to lick your elbow
Impossible, improbable
My head is really vulnerable

My eyes can see but it’s still pitch-black
I wish I had a flashlight in my backpack
I’d need one of enormous proportions,
To get rid of the darkness
that causes all these distortions
Tangles in all my cranial nerves
My mind observes, but it doesn’t care
It’s so confused, I mean who, what where
Are you gonna go, gonna flee,
Maybe I’ll just go and drive into a tree

All the light gets covered up by darkness,
It makes the world feel really heartless
I turn my brightness down all the way
Of my phone, of my home
Even of my mind as I scream into the microphone
Wanting to cry, wanting to die,
All this lack of light makes me wanna say goodbye
To myself, my reflection
My very own subjectively constructed perception,
It must all be a misconception
That darkness fades away when the light comes into play,
But let me tell you they coexist, yeah the darkness finds a way

I’m walking on my own,
Walking through the dark,
I just need a light switch,
Or maybe just a spark,
To reset my heart, reset my mind,
I don’t think it can hurt,
Anymore than right now as I desert,
Everything and everyone I know,
Curing yourself feels like trying to eat a rainbow
Impossible, improbable
My head is really vulnerable

I thought it was still night time,
But now it’s 2 P.M.,
The only part still working?
I think it is my brain stem
The rest is all a mess,
I just have to confess
I’m really scared of the light, 
the dark and nothing feels right
Why does everything seem upside down?

My mind is like a dark, spooky, haunted little ghost town

The sun is still not up, even though we’re in the afternoon,
It’s being covered by a darkness, that big orb called the moon
It seems like the eclipse this time is taking years and years,
Or maybe it’s just a clever way of symbolizing my fears.
No, it’s definitely the moon.

I’ve been walking for some time,

Now there’s a mountain too steep to climb

Too steep even with the right gear,

This is ridiculous, impossible says my fear

Just turn back you did your best, says my mind

But I don’t plan on turning back, don’t dare to look behind

The temperature is falling, I feel their breath in my neck

I pretend to be better, but inside I’m still a wreck


I now free-climb this rocky hill,

One mistake and it’s over, fighting against the will

To simply stop climbing, I want to let go

At least I’ll feel free for a second or two,

Before hitting the sharp and pointy spears below

Maybe this is it, maybe that I’ll do.



The mountain gets steeper, 
And steeper again,

I already see the reaper,
Or am I going insane?

Insane I still am, for this rock is not climbed,

But I only have my eyes to guide me,

For my mind is completely blind.



You’re the reason I climb, friend

Your illness might just mean my end

But I won’t be able to live without you,

I’m sorry, I don’t have what it takes to go through

I’m now falling, as it starts to pour rain,

“Finally, thank you.” I hear from my brain

My friend, finally I understand

We’ll finally be rid of this, but not really as planned

We were meant to work together, friend

But you lured me into climbing, and now I near the end

I squint my eyes and make out not a single spear,

Those who haunted me are waiting, I already hear

Their dark, low voices, shouting that they’ll capture me

Leave me alone, don’t capture me. I’m now, for once,

Finally free.



Just when there should be light, there’s none

Where am I now, is it all done?

Did I finally do it, are the voices all gone?

Then one starts to laugh, I can’t believe it, come on

I get back up on my feet and my vision pulls into focus

To find myself back at the start, this journey is hopeless

I’ll have to walk those miles once more,

The first step I try and then fall to the floor

I look down and spot both my legs are broken

You thought that would leave no scars? 

Oh, you must be joking.

To fall back down from such a height,

Even further away from a sprinkle of light

The mountain casts a shadow over this path all day

Please tell me, to the light, is there another way?



My skin is desperate, it is so pale,

Because you sir, missed a tiny detail

Every time I peacefully try to take a shortcut

Another door in this tiny room, somebody throws it shut

The darkness takes the rest

It even creeps in through the keyhole,

I might need a life vest

To prevent myself from drowning,
In this mixture of darkness and rain

It fills up this tiny room,
I simply can’t stand the pain

It fills my lungs, my veins and head

Until I then turn blue,

Is it finally over then, please tell it to be true

The room is drained, I hear a voice

He whispers “This is easy.”

I crash back down onto the floor,

My breath it sounds so wheezy

My body is tired, it’s through, it’s done

All I ever wanted was seeing the sun

Feeling it’s warmth, seeing the light

Instead I keep falling and I just write,

Again.



This journey takes too long,

Ran out of supplies, they’re all gone

I won’t survive out here all alone

I shouldn’t have tried, I should’ve known

That this path, goes on for eternity

There is no end, I’m filled with uncertainty

There is an end, but I can’t see

I can’t decide that, It’s not up to me

I’ll just keep walking, don’t try to fight

I’ll see the sun again, when the time is right

Maybe not ever, maybe I’ll keep walking

With behind me those who chase, they’re talking

How they like their home, they vandalize

Destroy everything they can, at any prize

Windows smashed, walls are cracked

And the neighbours, they get attacked

I hear pounding on the door, they’re back again

I snap and then shout “PLEASE, WHEN?!”

When will you leave, you keep hurting me

Just unlock the door, just set me free

Free from this path, free from this door

I can’t walk on for long anymore

I’ll have to crawl, just to continue

Know it is pointless, that’s not the issue

I just want you to see me try

For you my friend, this is goodbye.

Some things we don’t wanna talk about,
To friends, family and anyone near,
But until everything goes south,
We’ll just be alone, and live in fear

Don’t leave me all alone
Don’t leave me here
I may be fully grown
But I’ll drown in my fear
I’ll drown in my fear, drown, drown in my thoughts,
My mind is a battlefield I duck for the shots,
Shots that the darkness takes at me
I want to run, want to flee,
But I’m gonna need to fight,
Battle my way through
And I just might
..not

I go to sleep every night,
I should be good at it by now
But instead I look up at the ceiling,
with nobody looking back, wow
Nobody hears me as I talk to myself,
Talk in my head and I,
I just want someone to hear me,
Hear me talk about my fear

Some things we don’t wanna talk about,
To friends, family and anyone near,
But until everything goes south,
We’ll just be alone, and live in fear
Some things I don’t wanna talk about,
To friends, family and anyone near,
But until everything goes south,
I’ll just be alone, and live in fear

I don’t want you to know,
I want you to know,
Promise you won’t scream, cry or just go,
I just seem to be so lost, haven’t got a clue
Don’t know what do to,
Don’t know what to say
I keep falling down so I might as well pray
To what? I’m not sure
I’m just desperate for a cure
Needing to find a way to end this,
A good way, a bad way,
I’m still not sure which
I will choose, which I will pick,
All I know is that my head is really sick.

I know I’ll be alone, love’s just for others
I don’t know how anyone’s to discover,
Me, myself and I as I don’t have a clue,
Where they’re hiding, are they even true?
Why are you so quiet,
why are you so stoic?
I’m too busy with myself,
my ego is too big,
I’m fighting inner demons,
my mind’s so acidic

I don’t want to, I simply can’t
Acknowledge it, I don’t want your help, friend
I’ll do it myself, I’m sure I’ll get through
My battles with evil will sure be enough
To get me back on track, let me live my life
Instead of simply writing this, and trying to survive

These things I don’t want to talk about,
To friends, family and anyone near,
But until everything goes south,
I’ll just be alone,
and I’ll live in..
I’ll live.

How are you?

I’m fine, I’m great

No,
My face hurts

And I’m starting to believe
That that’s just my fate

Anyway, don’t mind me

I’m just a sinner,

I just want to be free

Free from all the pain,
the sorrow and not wanting to be

Right here anymore,

Down on the floor,
Just leave me here

Here is fine,

I’ll be here if you need me,

I feel like crying,

I don’t wanna be anymore,

Be any more than I never was

Just let me be,

I’ll be fine,

I’ll be great again,

If just this pain, goes away,

Fades away and maybe then

I’ll be fine.

I’ve been better,

I’ve been worse,

I’m like a two-faced man, and both hurt
My vision is blurry

I just want to sleep,

Close my eyes

write this song as I weep

And I’ll say again


Just let me be,

I’ll be fine,

I’ll be great again,

If just this pain, goes away,

Fades away and maybe then

I’ll be fine.



Anyway, don’t mind me

I’m just a sinner,

I want to be free

Free from all the pain,
the sorrow and not wanting to be

Right here anymore,

Down on the floor, 

Just leave me here

Yeah, you can leave me here



Please don’t leave me here

Don’t wanna turn back,

Don’t wanna run ahead,

I’m stuck in place

and I’m trapped in my head

Stuck in the worst place I can be,

The walls feel like they’re closing in on me,
Forcing me to walk this path,

Without a light without a fight,

And when will I reach it’s end?

That’s not for me to decide


So just let me go,

Just let me be,

Cause I’ll be fine,

As long as I’m free,

There is no path,

There is no light,

And I don’t know 
if it’s even worth to fight,

Anymore.

I don’t lie,

I simply camouflage my words,

My mind has been put on stand-by,

All these clever rhymes and verbs

That I use, they’re all hidden

Some you won’t understand you are forbidden

To fully comprehend what it is I’m trying to say

I realize that some of you may

Not relate, retaliate, by saying this is fake,

Not true, my neck aches

From carrying these words in the back of my head

So now I scribble them down, no lies,

Just truth, and other

Because I want you for yourself to discover

The same as I do

You’ll thank me- no thank yourself, when there’s eventually a
breakthrough

Because lying is the easy way, right?

but the path is filled with trapdoors,

You’ll walk through and discover that it’ll break you, it even might
Leave you wheezing on all fours.



I’m not hiding anything, I wear it on my sleeve,

Why would I ever tell you, what would I achieve?

You’ll never understand, all you’d do is find me odd,

All because I’d choose to tell you that my mind is flawed?

No I’ll simply wait for the light to turn green,

I’ve been standing still, waiting here since I was a teen

Maybe the light’s broken, could someone come and fix it?

No, I’m just gonna wait, how could I ever admit

That I’ve been waiting right here for years,

Without trying to move forward, back, maybe it’s my gears

Gears of my car, gears in my head

Are they working, I think my engine's dead

Are you there, are you still with me?

Of course I am, I’m fine, but my mind is on a killing spree

Killing my flow, killing my name,

Stomping on my heart am I going insane?

I don’t see myself in the mirror,

This puddle of darkness- I’ll drown in it

Death’s getting nearer.



We’re all diseased,
Our minds aren’t free

Everything put out is believed

We’ve stopped thinking, or is it just me?

Me that is ill, me that screams until,

I can’t anymore and now my vocal chords are torn

The screaming for real, it’s turned into a squeal,

But the sounds have become deafening, they’re sounds of defeat

Now I sit in silence as I continually and desperately plead


Help me, please see through the false truth,

My second face, this mask of mine,

It’s starting to show cracks, please have a glance and talk,

Don’t just stand there from the sideline

I finally throw the mask away and then I see it hit you,

Right in your face, it sticks, and still only half is true.

I’ll only transfer the truth, the lies, the problem’s still alive

Maybe there’s no cure, solution, 

just to fire lead through my hard drive.

I’m not a shadow of my former self, no

I’ve turned into my own shadow,

Never free to go,

Switched places with the one stalking me

It’s been so long, forgot how to be free

I represent the lack of sunlight, 

So close but yet so far

I completely disappeared from the radar



People step on me, not realizing

It’s okay though, not really surprising

It doesn’t even hurt anymore

Because I’ve been down on the floor

For so long, trying to remember

Where I came from

The winter season is the worst, no sun

Which means for a second, I’m completely gone

Not even a trace, not even a glance

Scream for help now, it’s your last chance

I’m being swallowed up whole

Merging with other shadows

As my mind goes for a stroll



Please help me back up friend,

I wish to have colour again

Colour in my brain

Not just solid black or grey

That’s pretty much all I have to say

My only dream in life is to live

My mind I won’t forgive

For what it did to me

So desperate, set me free

I want to switch back, I belong up there

Not you, 
I don’t deserve to be in despair



I want to have a peek,
Keep getting close

But you’re always in the way

From your head to your toes

Blocking out the heat,

Blocking out the rays

Been down here a thousand days

I’m no longer physical

I’m being hypocritical

You should do this, seek assistance

Only to lengthen your existence

But here I am, sinking in quicksand

It’s really not going as planned



In my mind the shadow keeps growing

While I keep shrinking

I’m getting to the point where I stop thinking

About ever seeing light, ever being free

I know very well that I’m ill

But I’ll get through, I will

Surrounded by the vast nothingness

Angriness wins it from happiness

Evil beats good

Beating this thing? I thought I would



Please help me back up friend,
I wish to have colour again

Colour in my brain

Not just solid black or grey

That’s pretty much all I have to say

My only dream in life is to live

My mind I won’t forgive

For what it did to me

So desperate, set me free

I want to switch back, I belong up there

Not you, 
I don’t deserve to be in despair



I dodge the light, as if on purpose

But I can’t help it, feeling worthless

I was made to be invisible

The darkness makes me miserable

Need to break loose of this walking corpse

Trying to do so through these works


The shadow holds me by the throat

Writing these words, and I quote

“I won’t end you, just leave you breathless.”

Nothing good in there, not a message

It’s only the harsh truth, depression is drowning

In your own thoughts, your mind is shouting

In your ear, just make it stop

Pull the trigger and then I drop

Deafening silence, finally

And I lay there silently, 

Lifeless

Now I’m free from this crisis

That occupied my head,

The only solution I figured out,

Now I’m dead.

The colour of my eyes completely burnt,

It’s nothing I’ve been smoking- no you weren’t

I know because you’re weak

And he adds another streak

One of those colourful lines across your back

The umpteenth whack,

I no longer keep track

For the pain isn’t physical

My motives aren’t biblical

I know I am despicable

My story, oh so typical



A screech, loud enough to make ears bleed

It makes fluids trickle down, 

From blood to tears and both mislead

As they quickly merge,

Combining their strength of hurting

On the verge of a surge

Of energy, shooting through my body

This heap of bones and coloured flesh

Because that’s all I am

This is just an exam

The hardest one ever, though

Wait, this one I know!

I grab my pen and start writing

The ink isn’t blue, maybe it’s the lighting

It may sting but I’m getting the answer down

As I wince in pain the examiner greets me,

with a frown

This examiner is the toughest,

He is the roughest

No empathy

He exists because of an imbalance,

We’re diving into the chemistry

Not drowning for once as this we get,

Yet I sweat as this man is still a threat

He’s been waiting for me for a long time
I bet.


The eyes behind mine

Those evil-coloured ones,

They feel like dying

But those are only his

And I don’t plan on doing what he says

For I’m the real one,

Purposely look right at the sun

That coloured fiery ball of flames,

“Oh you’ll pay for that” He claims



Now my mind lacks colour,

Now there’s nothing to discover

No place to go, no place to be

Different shades, they hold the key

Key to my heart, key to my understanding

As to why my mind is so demanding

All is shadow but there’s no shade

You’d need the light for that

I reach for the blade

At least it’ll bring back some colour

Who knows what I’ll discover


We’ll walk around in this world together

Covered in blood

I’m completely shaking and I hear you say

“We’ll be alright, bud.”

It somehow comforts me, my only friend

He really cares, yet together we descend

Down this palette of colours
The last one I get stuck in

The ****** blood-coloured red

The only real colour in my head

A feeling of dread,

Just let me lay in bed until I’m dead



The colour trickles down my temple as I utter

“It was worth it.”

Now let me rest,

Put me five feet under

Reversed

                                                                                         Is what it leads to
                                                                            Only suffering
                                                              And sadness.
                      I just have negative thoughts
    I want it to end.

I write down all the chatter I hear

In the hallways of my mind, cheer

Once I finally convey some meaning

To how and why, I think, I do, and also what I’m feeling

This digital pencil of mine, it’s writing in blood

****** dripping letters forming words that flood

My head, with every passing second

As I choke on the words, still can’t think about the present

Writing down what I’m desperate to say,

Hey you, please help me I am not okay

I wish it were that easy, but I think I’m just afraid

Afraid to be rejected


Oh every night I prayed

Prayed to the people in the sky I don’t believe in,

Am I talking to the wrong ones?
At least they’re talking back

Inhabiting my body, just waiting for one of them to crack,

My neck, end these evil thoughts and torment

Get the hell out of my head, go back and descend

From the rotten place you came

You don’t deserve to wear my name

And maybe when you drain from my brain

Maybe then, I’ll be able to talk again



Utilize these twenty-six characters to exorcise the demon,
Unbelievable how so little holds so much meaning

They’re used in silence, screams and joy

Or used in our wars, when we battle and destroy

We use them to express how much we care,

Or even if empty inside, and drowning in despair

These little markings mean to everyone the same

But people with another writing think you as insane

What if I tell you, that your writing’s different from mine?

You’re just not meant to understand, it’s where I draw the line

Maybe get some symbolism, understanding here and there

But the big picture, oh no my friend I’m not going to share



That’s okay, don’t be mad

It’s personal, didn’t mean to make you sad

I’m combining these markings for myself, not the globe

Not writing this for anyone, I’m just a phobophobe

Fear of fear itself, it might not make much sense to you

Then again I scribble to myself, you won’t have a clue

What the real meaning might be, even if you think you do

That’s exactly what I want, 
Having purpose to be around

The only one with the right explanation

For all these works, don’t need a standing ovation

I know I’m not the best, far from it

At least I’ll be proud to say, maybe close but I won’t commit

To anyone but myself, I need this time to sort things out

All the drama’s in my head, mind, makes me wanna shout

“Shut the hell up, please just one second!”

But would that really help, what do you reckon?

I don’t think it would, but hey

Who am I to judge

If you ever want to scream together

Just give me a nudge



If you ever want to write together

You can find me in the nether

My friends there, they’re so crazy

Talking about consuming my soul, but they just made me lazy

Lazy, took my will away,

My eyes turned from bright green to grey

Took my ambition, my vision, added to my fear

I feel them all the time, they’re constantly near

These negative thoughts, feelings and behaviour

They’re eating away at me, please I need a savior

Someone to not hear but listen, and carry me across

All these pools of lava, can’t walk but I gotta fight the boss

I arrive in the last level, my mind confused as I stare,

Into an empty room, wait no, this simply isn’t fair
In the room there 
stands a single item, a reflective piece of glass,

Is it me who I'm fighting?

This battle may be lost

It’s the hardest battle yet, surely

Maybe I should just not fight, and end it prematurely

Would these words be missed, who am I to say?

So hypocritical, preaching purpose and then dismay

I’m sorry, I’m doing my best, I’m trying

Truth be told I don’t know what I feel 

I just know it feels like dying

I remember it all too well,

The tears streaming down my face

I break down, holding on to the embrace

You’ll get through this, you’re strong

Keep fighting, no matter how long

We all need you bud, it’s just a speed bump

This disease you’ll trump

This infestation of your own body

I’d do anything to help, buddy



I love you so much, friend

I refuse this to be the end

I’ll carry you if I have to,

On my back for my whole life

Although I know that’s not what you want
But I just need you to survive



You’ve carried me, if anything

You’ve grabbed it by the throat, this thing

Meaning to separate you from your loved one
s
It nestles in your legs, kidneys and lungs

Yet you fight, as hard as it is

I know you cannot fathom what it is to miss

Everything that comes next, you deserve to be there

Such a great person, it’s only fair



I tease you, you tease me

And for a moment, we let each other flee

The horrible thoughts, the difficult time

The near enough impossible mountain you must climb

We can only cheer you on, we can’t climb along

It hurts more than anything, but please stay strong

So you will, I know you will

And this cancer you’ll definitely ****

I’ve seen you lose your hair, your cheek and your colour

At least we’ve all still got one another

You couldn’t even walk, too weak and fragile

Not really yourself, and way too docile

Yet you were still with us, and we with you

As you tried your best to stay,

It’s as if you knew

We’ve laughed so much, and now we cry together

You’re the strongest person I know, a golden centre



I jumped through the roof when I heard

The nightmare was over, you’re finally cured

Beat the clump that tried to best you

Nobody can do that pal,

Told you you’d get through

Now it’s time to enjoy life

Instead of meaning to survive

No longer on a hospital bed

Not having to think of death

You were twenty

Life still has to offer plenty

I love you so much, friend

I refuse this to be the end

I’ll carry you if I have to,

On my back for my whole life

Although I know that’s not what you want

But I just need you to survive



It’s back, you told me teary-eyed

I froze up,

Wanting to speak, I really tried

I hugged you tighter than I ever could

This shouldn’t be possible

Not to someone this good

We’re always there for you

I finally muttered through tears

Couldn’t have imagined this in my worst fears

So, another fight

Another sleepless night

My problems are insignificant, 

Every time I think of you

Every time I imagine of what you go through



“We can’t help him anymore.”

At those words, our worlds collapse

But maybe, j-just perhaps

No, it’s over,

Not a hundred four-leaf clovers

Will change the outcome

We’re now left wondering

How many days are left to come?



Even after this, you fight

You battle, struggle, yeah you might

Not win this time, but you’re amazing

I can still barely accept, that you won’t be raising

Any kids of your own, it’s so cruel

But yet you go to school,

Yet you still find purpose

Yet you don’t see yourself as worthless

And you’re not, you’re an inspiration

For the whole, entire nation

You’re a fantastic friend

You’re a legend,

We’ll be with you until the end, my man

And when the day comes, we’ll be there

Doesn’t matter when or where



It’s not fair.

I don’t blame you at all, don’t worry

It’s only a dark blank spot
it’s all part of the journey,
But it’s like a 9 foot man carried by a rabbit
My knees are trembling, crush my spine while I’m at it
But that’s not the worst, broken bones can be fixed

But I lost both you and myself along the way,
and they will be missed

Silence means it’s all okay
That’s what they think, and that’s what they say
But let me tell you quiet is violent
Those with headaches, they tend to be silent
I miss your face, I miss my own,
Look at my reflection yeah I’m alone,
Not alone even I’m not here,

Is this mirror lying, is it being sincere?
I don’t recognize myself I used to be different
But now I’m even less,

I’m completely insignificant

The silence breaks bones,
It tears through my skull, 
leaving behind a feeling dull
My ears are ringing, but my soul keeps singing
It keeps finding words to a rhythm
All this clever symbolism
It’s only rambling by what’s left of my head,
left of my mind as I try,
Try to comprehend
Why am I not free?
What is wrong with me?
I’m just desperate to break my silence,
But it’s all that I have
And I crave Your guidance

Now I look into a mirror again, 
one of those reflective soul-capturing plates
with a friend
Is that a friend, no it must be me,
Looking at myself it’s alright sweet pea
You’ll be fine my friend
Something’s happening in your mind,
Don’t even try and comprehend
Open the slits in your face and communicate
All it needs is one little slip-up and it will be checkmate
Break the silence of your screams
I might bring forward streams,
of tears
But trust me that that is okay
Because all that’ll follow will go your way
It may be hard, it feels impossible
But now I’m not asking anymore my mirror-man friend,
It’s not optional

Silence means it’s all okay
That’s what they think, and that’s what they say
But let me tell you quiet is violent
Those with headaches, they tend to be silent
I miss your face, I miss my own,
Look at my reflection yeah I’m alone,
Not even alone even I’m not here,

Is this mirror lying, is it being sincere?
I don’t recognize myself I used to be different
But now I’m even less,

I’m completely insignificant

It’s like I’ve been pulled inside out,
Taken my mouth and put it into thought
I just miss your face my good old friend
We’ve been through so much, all the time we spent
Together and alone not a moment apart,
But now it starts to feel like you’re stepping on my heart

It’s crushed and I’m trying to glue back the pieces left
My palms are sweaty, and my mind is all stressed,
How could you do this,
turn against me like this

You’re the only friend in life that I simply cannot miss
I thought we were alike,
I thought we helped each other
But now you stabbed me in the back,

My brother
You stabbed me in the back,

My father

I pull the knife out without a second thought

I quickly push against my throat,
And there stands a man in a dark black coat,
Walking me through a well-lit town is what I wrote
I shouldn’t be here, I belong in that other town
No, said the man, as he spotted my frown
You belong here but now’s not the time
I only used this paradigm
To clear that face of yours, rub your eyes,
Now go kick down all those doors
Don’t stop because there will be light,
And you will be alright
You will

The silence breaks bones,
It tears through my skull, 
leaving behind a feeling dull
My ears are ringing, but my soul keeps singing
It keeps finding words to a rhythm
All this clever symbolism
It’s only rambling by what’s left of my head,
left of my mind as I try,
Try to comprehend
Why am I not free?
What is wrong with me?
I’m just desperate to break my silence,
But it’s all that I have
And I crave Your guidance

It’s the little things, not smiling at something great

Not even chuckle at a stupid pun from my mate

Not taking in a new sight, but simply walking past

Being unable to describe it, when somebody asked

Only crying, every night- until I fall asleep

Not permitting myself to snooze, unless I weep

Clenching onto my pillow, within an ocean of tears

Uncontrollably shaking as I think about my fears

Shaking and crying but no sound,

And I wipe the tears with my doubts

Just to be able to sigh again

This must be the end of my brain

Do you reckon?

My mind is going a hundred miles a second

Whilst I’m completely still, 

My mental state is going downhill



I miss the smell of a freshly cut lawn

My sensations are weak, most already gone

I miss to feel emotion,

Colours as vast as the ocean

An unlimited amount I had,

But now they’re all gone

Maybe all these negative thoughts,

I just have to act on



I want you to smile,

Don’t wish you any pain

Just let me suffer alone,

What would I gain

From making you suffer with me?

I’ll keep this to myself
Pull the words from my vocal chords

And place them on the top shelf

Making sure you cannot reach

Of course, it’s just figure of speech

I’ll stay grey, like a lack of colour

My soul keep shrinking,

It keeps getting smaller

Smaller like my mind

The vast darkness takes over

Now all colour’s gone,

Nothing left to discover



I need you,

I need your smile,

It’s replaced by something abysmal,

Replaced by something vile

I want to look you in the eye,

And just hear you say

“Shh.. It will all be okay.”

Want to break down in your grip,

Tell you everything but no,

Instead I abandon ship

Again

Running from the truth



I miss the everlasting heat of the sun

My sensations are weak, most already gone

I miss to feel emotion,

Colours as vast as the ocean

An unlimited amount I had,

But now they’re all gone

Maybe all these negative thoughts,

I just have to act on



Thinking about what’s going on

I do that a lot,

Ever since I fought

The lack of a sunshine
It’s the main reason I’m not fine

Not fine at all, I miss the brightness

But you I haven’t missed, not in the slightest

You, the one bearing the false truth

You’ve been bothering me since my youth

Stop pulling me back, let me be with my friends

Running through these green fields,

Before it all ends



Its the little things, a breeze through my hair

Well the weather’s always changing, to be fair

Can’t expect it to always be sunny

But it’s been raining for too long now,

This isn’t funny

Droplets the size of cars

Drowning my brain

I’m gasping for air,
I’m going insane

But it’s the little things, and in the end

I’ll even crack a smile as I descend



I miss your touch

Oh I miss it so much

Your laugh, cry and warm face

The memories they’ll never erase

But you’re now gone, I miss you friend

I wipe a tear as you ascend

For the last time.

Prove it, I don’t believe you, it’s all staged
Luckily for you I’m trapped in this metal box, I’m caged
Even if I wasn’t I probably wouldn’t do
Anything really harmful of negative to you
See I know and understand, it’s just the way you think
Eventually I’ll get through, find my own personal Kitchen Sink


Sadly, I’m still nowhere near
Eager to get rid of this mental state, filling me with fear
Eager to continue my story, but there’s none left in my inventory

Thinking? That’s overrated, been seen, done, still complicated
Hear me out here, I know you might not agree
Reasonable thoughts stand for the only reason I might be
On this rock, floating through this vast nothing
Understanding why it’s my hope that my mind keeps crushing
Gobbled up by time, those were my childish dreams
Had a lot of aspirations, now they’ve flipped into negative extremes

Truth may hold more lies than you think
How? That’s not possible, just go and see a shrink
I mean of course the truth that nobody dares speak
Simply the worst parts of darkness that tell me I am weak

Maybe I’m really nothing, it may not be deceit
I still stand here though, next to you but barely on my feet
Slide out of the moving car, onto the concrete below
Torture of the burnt skin will be better than to know

Otherwise you’d have enlightened me, my mind
Fear keeps me alive, of the truth it makes me blind



Let me tell you, lies will hurt, but truth does even more
I reveal this to you all, who have been hurt behind this door
Each day my mind is torn my tools blunt, the next day acicular
So just read these lines again, but now every first letter, perpendicular

I’ve missed looking up at the sky,

It feels so refreshing

I feel the sunshine on my skin

This is a blessing

For I feel my skin getting warm

Oh how I’ve missed the charm

Of the beautiful sun

It makes me forget for a moment

That I’m still on the run

Running from myself

From the truth as well

That there’s something wrong with me

No I’m alright, I refuse to see

The troublesome truth, the painful fact

That I’m constantly putting on an act



Yet I smile, yet I beam

From ear to ear, this must be a dream

Barely recognize this feeling,

Is this what happiness is?

Or is it a facade

Hiding the fact that my mind’s still flawed

That must be it, no way that it’s gone

It’s been with me for so long

From dusk until dawn

I’ll just keep looking at the sky

Stare right through the atmosphere

Oh how I wish I could fly

What I’d give to be free

I’d ****- no that’s extreme, don’t you agree?

I just don’t want to hurt, want no-one to suffer
But it’s getting increasingly harder to recover

All by myself, I probably need therapy

To battle the single strongest enemy

I’ve ever had, I’ve ever encountered

That’s why I’m running
I know, I’m such a coward


I take a breath of fresh air,

The wind blows through my hair

I feel alive, a new part of the path

I’ve reached the top

And for a moment I stop

Stunned by the beauty as I turn my frame

My body is healed, I remember my own name

It all seems perfect, my mind it bright

Dare I say it? I’ve won the fight



As I speak those words my brain wakes

From my increasingly short slumber

How my head now aches

Again, and again and indeed- once more

I’ll lay down again, lay down on the floor

Everything became the same again

I feel so much shame, 
I forgot my name

There’s a faulty wire in my mainframe

This has never been a fair game



I’ve lost my atmosphere

Now my fear is one again crystal clear

It’s been a mere year but it drains

Tear after tear from my eyes

My mask is failing me, my disguise

It’s showing cracks and fractures

My thoughts, they’re all backwards

Thought I was on top, really at the bottom

Figured it was springtime, no- already autumn

Everything is falling, even dying

I’m back on my knees

Looking down, still crying

The sky turns black

It starts pouring rain

Another drawback

Please get rid of this burning pain

Drain this rain from my brain

Help me get rid of this,

For I can’t keep laying here at the start

Down in this abyss



My neck is stuck in place,

Can’t see a trace of outer space

I’m only allowed to view my feet,

And below that, the cold street

The drizzle trickles down

No, still not enough for me to drown

I miss that yellow glowing star

It’s been gone for so long

It feels so bizarre

Only cold, darkness without shadows

How do I hold on?

Only He knows

For I wish to give in

I know, yeah it’s a sin

But between a great nothing or eternal darkness

I’d choose the former, I’m already lifeless



I carefully smile as I look up in a dream,

Not wanting to shout, not wanting to scream

I’m at peace, just for a moment

Please never wake me,

For I’m really broken