We need to talk
You need to listen
Because my mind is crushing my ambition
And I know for a fact,
That I'm not alone,
My mind's not intact,
It's missing the ozone
Because it's not protected,
If that wasn't clear
My ambition is rejected
And only fear's to appear

I used to be so full of life
Loving everything, lots of friends
And now all I wanna do is take a knife
To cut out the darkness, trying to make amends
And now my motivation is going on a trip,
I'm not sure where it went, maybe it's somewhere on a cruise ship
I just know that it isn't here,
In my heart, my head or at all near
My ambition is killed, it's been murdered,
Now how am I supposed to be determined
To find my purpose, find a goal,
My brain's not really working, at least not as a whole

The fusebox is really old, that electrician spoke,
But I've just moved in! That's not possible, is it broke?
The man nodded "Yes." And I seemed confused,
Then what do I have left? It's the only thing I've used.
It's supposed to help me, not hold me back
Because the root of this issue
That simultaneously doesn't know how to continue
It the thing that's writing these words
It's being chased by demons, in herds
I think it's trying it's best, trying to fix me
But it's what caused it in the first place, so trying? Hardly.

My frenemy is holding me captive,
I've wanted to escape but the outside world is unattractive
It's not that bad, my friend keeps me alive
Since when is that enough, simply to survive?
My enemy is caging me, I'm screaming to get out
Why's he even doing this, what's it all about?
Maybe I'll just stay here, it's safe right here
Maybe I'll just break out and run away, completely disappear

Reversed

                                                                                         Is what it leads to
                                                                            Only suffering
                                                              And sadness.
                      I just have negative thoughts
    I want it to end.

I thought it was still daytime,
But now it’s 3 A.M.,
The only part still working?
I think it is my brain stem
The rest is all a mess,
I just have to confess
I’m really scared of the dark,
And I know it’s trying to suppress,
The light.

The dopamine
And serotonine,
To keep it very simple
They’re just being awful, mean
My brain is waging war on me,
And now it’s way past 3,
It’s difficult to tell,
All I know is that I dwell,
Dwell in my own dark mind,
The place that I’m assigned,
Is the worst I could’ve gotten
Can’t see a thing, was I forgotten?
Did they just turn off the light
While I’m still present?
Or did my brain just flick the light switch
without my consent?

I’m walking on my own,
Walking through the dark,
I just need a light switch,
Or maybe just a spark,
To reset my heart, reset my mind,
I don’t think it can hurt,
Anymore than right now as I desert,
Everything and everyone I know,
Curing yourself feels like trying to lick your elbow
Impossible, improbable
My head is really vulnerable

My eyes can see but it’s still pitch-black
I wish I had a flashlight in my backpack
I’d need one of enormous proportions,
To get rid of the darkness
that causes all these distortions
Tangles in all my cranial nerves
My mind observes, but it doesn’t care
It’s so confused, I mean who, what where
Are you gonna go, gonna flee,
Maybe I’ll just go and drive into a tree

All the light gets covered up by darkness,
It makes the world feel really heartless
I turn my brightness down all the way
Of my phone, of my home
Even of my mind as I scream into the microphone
Wanting to cry, wanting to die,
All this lack of light makes me wanna say goodbye
To myself, my reflection
My very own subjectively constructed perception,
It must all be a misconception
That darkness fades away when the light comes into play,
But let me tell you they coexist, yeah the darkness finds a way

I’m walking on my own,
Walking through the dark,
I just need a light switch,
Or maybe just a spark,
To reset my heart, reset my mind,
I don’t think it can hurt,
Anymore than right now as I desert,
Everything and everyone I know,
Curing yourself feels like trying to eat a rainbow
Impossible, improbable
My head is really vulnerable

I thought it was still night time,
But now it’s 2 P.M.,
The only part still working?
I think it is my brain stem
The rest is all a mess,
I just have to confess
I’m really scared of the light, 
the dark and nothing feels right
Why does everything seem upside down?

My mind is like a dark, spooky, haunted little ghost town

The sun is still not up, even though we’re in the afternoon,
It’s being covered by a darkness, that big orb called the moon
It seems like the eclipse this time is taking years and years,
Or maybe it’s just a clever way of symbolizing my fears.
No, it’s definitely the moon.

I don’t blame you at all, don’t worry

It’s only a dark blank spot
it’s all part of the journey,
But it’s like a 9 foot man carried by a rabbit
My knees are trembling, crush my spine while I’m at it
But that’s not the worst, broken bones can be fixed

But I lost both you and myself along the way,
and they will be missed

Silence means it’s all okay
That’s what they think, and that’s what they say
But let me tell you quiet is violent
Those with headaches, they tend to be silent
I miss your face, I miss my own,
Look at my reflection yeah I’m alone,
Not alone even I’m not here,

Is this mirror lying, is it being sincere?
I don’t recognize myself I used to be different
But now I’m even less,

I’m completely insignificant

The silence breaks bones,
It tears through my skull, 
leaving behind a feeling dull
My ears are ringing, but my soul keeps singing
It keeps finding words to a rhythm
All this clever symbolism
It’s only rambling by what’s left of my head,
left of my mind as I try,
Try to comprehend
Why am I not free?
What is wrong with me?
I’m just desperate to break my silence,
But it’s all that I have
And I crave Your guidance

Now I look into a mirror again, 
one of those reflective soul-capturing plates
with a friend
Is that a friend, no it must be me,
Looking at myself it’s alright sweet pea
You’ll be fine my friend
Something’s happening in your mind,
Don’t even try and comprehend
Open the slits in your face and communicate
All it needs is one little slip-up and it will be checkmate
Break the silence of your screams
I might bring forward streams,
of tears
But trust me that that is okay
Because all that’ll follow will go your way
It may be hard, it feels impossible
But now I’m not asking anymore my mirror-man friend,
It’s not optional

Silence means it’s all okay
That’s what they think, and that’s what they say
But let me tell you quiet is violent
Those with headaches, they tend to be silent
I miss your face, I miss my own,
Look at my reflection yeah I’m alone,
Not even alone even I’m not here,

Is this mirror lying, is it being sincere?
I don’t recognize myself I used to be different
But now I’m even less,

I’m completely insignificant

It’s like I’ve been pulled inside out,
Taken my mouth and put it into thought
I just miss your face my good old friend
We’ve been through so much, all the time we spent
Together and alone not a moment apart,
But now it starts to feel like you’re stepping on my heart

It’s crushed and I’m trying to glue back the pieces left
My palms are sweaty, and my mind is all stressed,
How could you do this,
turn against me like this

You’re the only friend in life that I simply cannot miss
I thought we were alike,
I thought we helped each other
But now you stabbed me in the back,

My brother
You stabbed me in the back,

My father

I pull the knife out without a second thought

I quickly push against my throat,
And there stands a man in a dark black coat,
Walking me through a well-lit town is what I wrote
I shouldn’t be here, I belong in that other town
No, said the man, as he spotted my frown
You belong here but now’s not the time
I only used this paradigm
To clear that face of yours, rub your eyes,
Now go kick down all those doors
Don’t stop because there will be light,
And you will be alright
You will

The silence breaks bones,
It tears through my skull, 
leaving behind a feeling dull
My ears are ringing, but my soul keeps singing
It keeps finding words to a rhythm
All this clever symbolism
It’s only rambling by what’s left of my head,
left of my mind as I try,
Try to comprehend
Why am I not free?
What is wrong with me?
I’m just desperate to break my silence,
But it’s all that I have
And I crave Your guidance

Some things we don’t wanna talk about,
To friends, family and anyone near,
But until everything goes south,
We’ll just be alone, and live in fear

Don’t leave me all alone
Don’t leave me here
I may be fully grown
But I’ll drown in my fear
I’ll drown in my fear, drown, drown in my thoughts,
My mind is a battlefield I duck for the shots,
Shots that the darkness takes at me
I want to run, want to flee,
But I’m gonna need to fight,
Battle my way through
And I just might
..not

I go to sleep every night,
I should be good at it by now
But instead I look up at the ceiling,
with nobody looking back, wow
Nobody hears me as I talk to myself,
Talk in my head and I,
I just want someone to hear me,
Hear me talk about my fear

Some things we don’t wanna talk about,
To friends, family and anyone near,
But until everything goes south,
We’ll just be alone, and live in fear
Some things I don’t wanna talk about,
To friends, family and anyone near,
But until everything goes south,
I’ll just be alone, and live in fear

I don’t want you to know,
I want you to know,
Promise you won’t scream, cry or just go,
I just seem to be so lost, haven’t got a clue
Don’t know what do to,
Don’t know what to say
I keep falling down so I might as well pray
To what? I’m not sure
I’m just desperate for a cure
Needing to find a way to end this,
A good way, a bad way,
I’m still not sure which
I will choose, which I will pick,
All I know is that my head is really sick.

I know I’ll be alone, love’s just for others
I don’t know how anyone’s to discover,
Me, myself and I as I don’t have a clue,
Where they’re hiding, are they even true?
Why are you so quiet,
why are you so stoic?
I’m too busy with myself,
my ego is too big,
I’m fighting inner demons,
my mind’s so acidic

I don’t want to, I simply can’t
Acknowledge it, I don’t want your help, friend
I’ll do it myself, I’m sure I’ll get through
My battles with evil will sure be enough
To get me back on track, let me live my life
Instead of simply writing this, and trying to survive

These things I don’t want to talk about,
To friends, family and anyone near,
But until everything goes south,
I’ll just be alone,
and I’ll live in..
I’ll live.

How are you?

I’m fine, I’m great

No,
My face hurts

And I’m starting to believe
That that’s just my fate

Anyway, don’t mind me

I’m just a sinner,

I just want to be free

Free from all the pain,
the sorrow and not wanting to be

Right here anymore,

Down on the floor,
Just leave me here

Here is fine,

I’ll be here if you need me,

I feel like crying,

I don’t wanna be anymore,

Be any more than I never was

Just let me be,

I’ll be fine,

I’ll be great again,

If just this pain, goes away,

Fades away and maybe then

I’ll be fine.

I’ve been better,

I’ve been worse,

I’m like a two-faced man, and both hurt
My vision is blurry

I just want to sleep,

Close my eyes

write this song as I weep

And I’ll say again


Just let me be,

I’ll be fine,

I’ll be great again,

If just this pain, goes away,

Fades away and maybe then

I’ll be fine.



Anyway, don’t mind me

I’m just a sinner,

I want to be free

Free from all the pain,
the sorrow and not wanting to be

Right here anymore,

Down on the floor, 

Just leave me here

Yeah, you can leave me here



Please don’t leave me here

Don’t wanna turn back,

Don’t wanna run ahead,

I’m stuck in place

and I’m trapped in my head

Stuck in the worst place I can be,

The walls feel like they’re closing in on me,
Forcing me to walk this path,

Without a light without a fight,

And when will I reach it’s end?

That’s not for me to decide


So just let me go,

Just let me be,

Cause I’ll be fine,

As long as I’m free,

There is no path,

There is no light,

And I don’t know 
if it’s even worth to fight,

Anymore.