I can cling to a golden thread of desperation if you put it within my reach
I can wrap it around my fingers and toes
I hope to cut off circulation until every breath of mine is a beautiful violet
I can twirl on the tips of my toes until the world around me turns faster and I am standing still
I'm not in wonderland
My teeth are made of glass but no matter how hard I clench my jaw, they refuse to break
My eyes are growing blades of grass within them but my ******* lawn mower won't start
Why do I always expect to be cared about?
Why are you always the martyr?
Why is it my job to take care of you when I still have to learn how to take care of myself?
Why can't you let branches grow from yourself and be your own **** person?
You follow in my footsteps like you are afraid of making your own imprint on this earth
Dig your feet into the ground and stomp
Create earthquakes with the impact
Shake down every brick building that was built up to block the sun from reaching your eyes
I was not put on this earth to be your protector
Your protector is within the thread of the leash you tied around my neck
I'm choking on air and you pluck it out of my mouth and swallow it whole and still complain of not being able to breath
Stop walking behind me and start running beside me
Gold is only found where you look and so far, you pretend to be blind
Stick legs don't bend but they break pretty **** easily
The flowers sprouting out of my ears are wilting
Recycled ideas should not fill your head
Your own ideas should
The thread tied around my wrists is yellow and black
I can't find the strength to snap it
I'll spend my empty days unraveling it, only getting it tangled up again

almond gray clouds
are the eyes and soul of the
pumpkin orange sky
i wonder why
the radiant sun
could not die
thus make her
gradual descent
in front of
everyone
spiral down
and vanish
through the
event horizon

If all the pain was to be gone
all the suffering banished forever
my heart would still be tempered
in sullen thoughts with my soul in despair

If all the pain was gone
if I was content
I would not write
I would not claim Poet

But my endless pain
my own miscarriage of justice
my fall from grace
because of my endless failures

This is me in words
this is where I am from
and when I leave this earth
maybe then just if....
if all the pain would be gone


By Christos Andreas Kourtis aka NeonSolaris

Most of my life those who cared called me emotional
Never understood what that meant till I got older
Reflecting back to when times were colder
Crying for hours in need
Of a shoulder to lean on
Lovers called me weird and needy
Treated me like a klingon
Only wanted one thing
Steady leading me on
A never ending cycle
Of a woman yearning to belong
To a man who loves her
With a heart so strong
Even the demons can't touch him
Turns out he's been there all along

The beautiful pedals on a rose shine vibrant with sunlight. Morning dew still lies on top of the white veins in the flower.
Society is calling its hour
They say we fight for peace and freedom but do we really?
Or do we fight of judgment and sorrow…
Every day's hour is calling for tomorrow.
Girls walk and boys play
As the rose is watching from far away.
Poison hits the air when she gossips her words
Another sound of judgment is passed on to snitching birds
Spreading like fire through day and night
Electricity is in this fight
The boys are viewed as tough not weak
Squishing girls underneath their cheek
This is an injustice
This is not right
To have society let the man go who caused a fight
To let him walk with his sin of ****
While the girl sits alone listening to a single song tape
How is this justice to let him go
The young girl sits watching & breaking on her own.
She is now broken for life
A memory that’s placed as quickly as a clasp knife
To hide behind smiles and lies
This man will strike a again…
While the red rose dies.

Riding past this house on the left
on County Rd. 109,
Pops, my best friend, ( I will introduce you (later in this series)),
tells me about this woman who lived there. Every time we go by.
I guess we went by there at least ten times last  week.
The way he tells the story , (1000 times now),
she had this pit bull, trained for her protection.
He said she bragged how, on her command,  her dog would ****.
I guess that made her feel protected.
Then one night, as he tells it, she walked by his (the pit bull's) food dish.
He ate her.