A furious wave of fear
pounds against
the inside of my gut.
Why do I worry so much?
I have tried avoiding
the voided tunnels,
the ones that call
in the pit of my stomach.
Should I run away
from the maze of memories
or should I march right in?
I'm afraid that it will wash me away.
The void will evaporate my identity.
Am I as fragile as I feel?
No.
I don't believe so.

The car engine light is on
I sigh… I know what’s wrong,
The exact part that needs replacing
But the same problems, I keep facing

“Don’t make ‘em like they used to”
I sigh… I know what’s wrong
It’s me, the expert who knows nothing
To the world, I’m really bluffing

You see, the engine is my brain
And I’m slowly going quite insane
I’m just trying to explain
I’m not doing well

The fuel light blinks on
I… sigh. I know what’s wrong
I’m grasping for fuel
How I treat her frame is cruel

You see, that hunk-a-junk is me
I’m not kind to my body
It’s just my anxiety
I’m not doing well

So I cope, I smoke
I always feel like I’m alone
I don’t want to take this road
So, I turn off the key

The car door alarm is on
I sigh.. I know what’s wrong
The path might not be clear
But I’m walking from here

Your dusty blue eyes look just like mine,

But mine don’t hold the lies you spoke.

Brothers are supposed to protect,

So why am I finding myself at the end of your rope?

You handed me silence, wrapped in blame,

A gift of absence, a hollow name.

You lied, deflected, and called it grace,

But I see the cracks in your polished face.

I raised my voice—not to harm, but to heal,

To break the silence, to make it real.

Yet you called me “too much,” said I crossed a line,

When all I wanted was to stop the decline.

You disowned me for speaking my truth,

For refusing to play the role of your sleuth.

I won’t chase shadows, I won’t pretend,

That this family’s brokenness can ever mend—

Without honesty, without the fight,

Without calling out what isn’t right.

You chose to cut me loose, to let me go,

But I’m not the one who’s lost, you know.

I’ve done the work, I’ve faced my pain,

While you’ve stayed stagnant, afraid of the rain.

You called me the problem, the one to blame,

But I’m not the one who’s playing the game.

I won’t apologize for wanting more,

For refusing to settle, for closing the door
.
On the lies, the shame, the toxic spin—

I’m done letting the cycle win.

Your dusty blue eyes look just like mine,

But mine don’t hold the lies you spoke.

I’ll walk away with my head held high,

No longer bound by your fraying rope.