It is hard to understand
I cant really explain why
The storm is gone
but the image is still there
The fire is turned out
but the scars are still in pain
I didn't drown but I still cant breath
That's what it does,
it doesn't destroy you
and it stops
but it leaves the memory
The way I see it
Its over
so I HAVE to let go of the past
and let the memory

I told my myself that it wasn't a lie
More like a cover up
I lied to myself, but I didn't admit it
I told my self that light would run out and
that I would eventually be alright
But that's the thing, I didn't know when to stop
It was addictive,
I didn't understand how something like THAT
would be addictive.
I like that feeling.
I loved that feeling but it wasn't right!
THeres where God brought me from
An addiction I though only lord death cold take away
to liberation Lord my God took away!!
                                                     ~Estrella~Star~

My writing is what helps me
It pushes my out of my bed in the mornings
It drags across the room to get dressed
It makes me walk all the way to the kitchen
It even whispers to me if I forget something
My writing helps me let go
And let out
But my writing will never truly speak to me
At least not in the way God will
My writing knows what I tell it
But God knows even what I still don't discover
My writing says love only if I write it,
God shows love even when I hate it
My writing needs me to pick it up
God picks me up with my writing
If you still don't see the difference
Ask God, I'm sure he will find a way!
she found a way for me!

Some people call it destiny
Because he came during the time that you thought you needed him the most
Some people call it destiny
Because he appeared like a prince in shining armor
But he wasn't what you thought it would be.
He hit her
He humiliated her,
that's not love
He pressed her wings down and didn't let her fly,
that's not love
It doesn't matter if you say it backwards
or hide in the closet hoping he wont find you
It is still not love
As much as you try,
you cant blame this one on alcohol
Or stress
or temper.
It is not love
Love forgives.
That is why you forgive him
But you don't let him continue what he is doing,
Do it for the kids that are watching.
How many times did he almost made you forgive him
and almost loose your children.
Give these problems to God
Don't make the mistake my mother did
SHe left
and planted hate in each of us,
but for her it was a field of
regrets, hates, and rancor.
Forgive but let go!

Will you believe
If I told you
He died for you!!!

She walked home after a long day
Her day had been a battle field
It was only one block
from the place her bus dropped her of
To the place she called home
It had been a day where everything
seemed impossible
It had been a day where life
seemed unconquerable
She walked down the sidewalk with some doubts
Every step counted the words
the mistakes
the times she almost gave up
Every breath told a new story
of the times she made a fool of herself
Of the times she was made fun of
Every blink of an eye could count the times
she had been betrayed
Or when she was left alone
Or when she got hurt
But after every step
After every breath
After every blink of an eye
She smiled?
Was she THAT crazy
and coming to realize,
she wasn't counting the steps as words
She wasn't counting the breaths as stories
She wasn't counting the blinks as the times bad things would happen
She counted differently
In a way that she herself, didn't understand.
Each step marked each time she pushed him away
and he kept coming back
Every breath counted the times she almost stopped breathing
and how she resurrected
and every blink of an eye counted the times he was there
When she thought she was alone
She could have counted the nearby trip as the time
when she was about to make the worst mistake of her life
But she counted it as that day she got saved
And how she was washed In his blood
How she was baptized in the name of Jesus
She was saved from the words
from the stories
and from THOSE times.
She was his words
His stories
and HIS times...
She had him
HER SAVIOR AND KING
MY SAVIOR AND KING
YOUR SAVIOR AND KING
The one who loved her, you, and me like no one else ever will!  
And all it took was 5 minutes from the bus stop,
to her home.
That was the counting of a life time
That was all she needed to remember him
That was all she needed to count HER life time