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I stood with my father in the
shop, by the register.  

the eager, blue eyes of
a toddler

-bright blonde hair,
minature hand treasuring a

promised lollipop- met old
ones so sorely remembering the

likeness to that boy my brother and
I held, all those years ago.

his little face nearly exploded
in a smile up at the kind,

weathered man. my father smiled,
no, laughed back in a spontaneous

outburst of appreciation at this
glimpse thirty odd years back in

time, where either one of his
two little gods of pride

looked up; back, and
smiled with their little hearts

full of safe, soft, adoring life.
so far from the two rugged men

we've become.
towering, no longer

asking for anything.
for a few seconds, I saw divinity

between the
two of them,

and
thanked.
i've begun to notice
the end of love is a bit like cancer

in the beginning stages,
you may not even notice
anything is wrong.
once in awhile,
something out of the ordinary occurs
and you convince yourself
you have control

then, you're in denial of the disease.

don't be ridiculous,
i'm fine.
we're fine.

exponentially it gets worse
out of your control

until one morning you wake up
to clumps of hair on your pillow from
the attempts to stop the
disease
and you're left embarrassed
vulnerable
stripped of your will and
energy

until finally,
you give in.
you're defeated.
you're both defeated.
all you can do is wait
for it to conquer you

and even if you heal
you know you'll never be the same
you'll always be scarred
Gang ****. wars. famines.
iPad screen a shield between
news of death
and your life.

around, around, around we
go, tripping over molehills,
ignoring mountains where
diamonds and silver

lay as common as dirt
at the top.
this train is heading in painful
directions, but it would

tickle too much if we stop.
so we don't.
I won't give up my wi-fi
to save every child in a village

I've never even heard of.
  
we all say it. inaudibly.
too many of us aboard,
but the water is lovely.

would someone -anyone- please,
please rock
this
boat.
  Dec 2014 The Messiah Complex
Sarina
most girls are simply
peacocks
and cliffs, a pair of mountains

house their dangling
hips

but the snow
is kind of blue at midnight
most girls look sick

when eternal is just it

she she she
has a dislocated shoulder

she she she
is as empty inside

most girls are bright
but jump off from cliffs
sometimes
  Dec 2014 The Messiah Complex
Sarina
Twenty seven months of sunlight showers,
and I am still white –
can he pull me into vinegar?
Make my skin peel into another shade?

No one will recognize.
Our relationship is an oasis, not on a map
but I can spread like an ancient one –

used to being fingered and opened,
garden is a home of myriad wedding vows
when the wind gusts, he feels a promise
touching concealed cartilage

of his ear. No one has spoken so low and
has been heard by anyone even if
the feeling hangs like ferns from a rooftop.

And our body, our single form
hums in a similar silhouette with him above.
No one can amputate his seed from me:
I keep growing into last December
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