I don't know the date
The time, the year
Still the memory is clear

Wooden steps creak underfoot
Sunlight slants through the sides
The big blue slide
Can't see where it goes
Just sit at the top
Birds chirp nearby
Grass freshly cut

A good place for a revelation
Nothing to do but ponder
Lost in my mind
Can't see anything else

Suddenly shot in the heart
Questions pour out first
Where is my mommy?
Wasn't she here?
Why can't I remember?
Everyone else has one
Where did mine go?

Why don't I know
What she looks like?
Sounds like?
I can't hear her

Starting to panic
Where did she go?
Will she be back?
NO

Next the emotions
Floodgates open
Can't hold it back
Don't even try

Sobs control my body
Running and running
But I can't escape
This terrible realization

I can't even speak
Explain why
The tears are erupting
When I finally do
Reveal I just found out
That my world was broken

"You already knew"
"Don't be so dramatic"
"That's old news"
You complain that my tears
Are getting you wet
Soiling your clothes
My grief is uncomfortable
An inconvenience
You just want to move past this

All of eight years old
Already being told
I can't grieve
Shouldn't feel a 3 year old wound
Should have healed by now

I didn't know it was there!
You didn't care
Now that I do
can't show how I feel
That's why
I still don't cry
In front of you

How does love speak?
Is it the same for you and me?
Does it shout and whisper
cry and scream
Lost and found
Soft and deep
Does it pray for us while we sleep
How does love speak?

Does it feel like you?
Sigh and groan
Gasp and moan
Soft skin
Sharp teeth
Wet and hot
Hard and strong
So so deep
Skin on skin
Slick with sweat
Below above
Beside within
But theres more
Hold my hands while we walk through the door
Hair soft as silk under my palm
A sweet kiss before we leave
One, two, three
Wrap me in a comforting embrace
Sit side by side
Our legs slightly touch
Grab my hand so I don't get lost
Rest my head on your shoulder
Tells you I'm here
You can be calm
Rest your head on my chest
Hear my heart beat
So easy to feel love this way
Touch

Does it spend more than money?
Watch a movie
Play some cards
Scroll through memes
The sound of your laugh
Walk through the isles
Touch all the things
Walk by the water
Feel the soft spray
Just sit in the car
We don't have to speak
Watch me take it in
Watch you relax
Lay next to me
In our silk sheets
Talk about nothing
Say everything
Feel it all together
Ignore the important
Walk in the yard
Too long grass crunching under our feet
Dream of the future
What will go where
Relive the past
Almost too much to share
It doesn't matter how we spend it
Time

Does it see what I need?
Do the laundry on a Sunday
Cook the meals
Preheat the oven
Calm the child
Take her with you
Hold the baby
Give me time
For a shower
For a snack
Sacrifice your wants
Because of our needs
I'll keep the house
Grow the babies
I'm loved because you do know  
Service

Does it give like you do?
A fuzzy brown teddy bear
That's what I call you
A heart necklace
Saying how you feel
Clothes for my body
Shoes for my feet
A golden egg
Capturing a promise
The forever question
A silver band
When I said I do
Give me all my life with you
Things don't matter just reasons
Gifts


Is it as considerate as you?
Its so much more than things you say
It's about what you mean  
"Drive safe"
I need to see you again
"See you soon"
I'm glad you're coming home
"Have a good day"
I care about your happiness
"Try to get some sleep"
I care about your comfort
"Yes it's cold"
I know you'll need a jacket
"It's okay"
The way you feel matters
"****"
"Amazing"
"Wonderful"
I'm trying to erase your insecurities
Says more than just "I love you"
Affirmation

So how does love speak?
It's not always the same for you and me
It whispers and holds
Laughs and breathes
Lost and found
Soft and deep
It stays with us even when we sleep
That's how our love speaks

I follow behind you
Bouncing as you go
So full of joy
I can't help but think
What will you become?

Golden hair flows behind
Tossed by the wind
Will it stay gold?
Or fade with age
Darken before my eyes

Less than knee height
A tripping hazard
Bruised knees
***** feet
Will you always be clumsy?  

Slurred speech
Words unfamiliar
Say what you think
Repeat what you hear
Will you truly speak?

A high pitched whine
Emotions uncontrolled
Chaos inside
But nothing is wrong
Will you have reasons to cry?

You wear a sparkly dress
Butterfly sandals
Marker stains
Claim to be a princess
Will you always love beauty?

Scribbles on paper
And tables and skin
Painting your arms
Driveways full of chalk
Will the world be your canvas?

I want time to stop
Still it flows on
Glimpses of the future
Even as she runs
Will I be there to see it?